TheHiddenAngel Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 I start college tomorrow and I am so nervous and excited and so scared... I am tying to control myself but I cant.... I'm a mess I can't eat, I can't drink and I can't sleep... Oh but I'm so very proud of my self. I stopped myself having a massive panic attack... I am very sensitive to ambulances, fire engines and police cars sirens. A couple of fire trucks went past me today and I found myself starting to have a massive panic attack. I took 3 deep breathes and kept talking to myself saying "Breathe its alright, your okay just breathe you will be fine" And after about 5-10mins it worked I calmed down with out passing out :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Good luck with starting college, i hope it goes really well for you. Its natural to be excited and scared, its a completely new step for you, you will meet new people, learn new things, everyone gets nervous tho if you have anxiety and/or depression that can make it feel so much worse. You are right to be proud of yourself, you have done really well. stopping yourself from having a panic attack is very hard, even just getting through it is hard. Ambulances, fire engines and police cars can be horrible, they are a sign that something is wrong and the noise they make is horrible and often they have triggering memories attached to them. You did so well to stop yourself panicing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules7 Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Good luck at College, I hope you have fun there and meet lots of new cool people :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Having BPD,DID, anxiety issues, CPTSD, social phobia and extreme paranoia... I thought I did well but theny voices kicked in yelling at me sayin you win today but wait till college tomorrow... now I'm so paranoid I'm going to have an "episode" or something tomorrow :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 NO! I AM GOING TO HAVE A GREAT DAY NOTHING IS GOING TO GO WRONG INTACT EVERYTHING WILL BE GREAT! I RUN MY LIFE AND I WILL BE IN CONTROL AND I WILL SHOW EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER DOUBTED ME (MY VOICES AND ALTERS INCLUDED) I WILL SUCCEED NOT JUST PASS IT ALL BUT I AM GOING TO ACE IT AND PASS IT ALL WITH FLYING COLOURS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdagger82 Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Good Luck tomorrow and well done for dealing with the panic attack. Tommorrow will go just fine Hun, try and go with the flow of the day and try to enjoy yourself. Starting something new is always scary Hun but I am sure you will do great. BDxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Good luck tomoro hun im sure youl do great just try and go in with a positive attidude xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 thankyou. I'm really spacey right now :S never a good sign means I'm switching between alters... I'm just scared the wrong one is going to come out tomorrow at college. I am positive... it will be a good day. Yes new is scary but new is a good change a fresh start. The beginning of a new and better life :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 wow well done you!!! big acheivement xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 thankyou daisyduck :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 I should try and sleep since I have to be there at 815am and its currently 110am here... night all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted July 24, 2011 Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Good luck and well done, you can do it hun. ((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2011 Thankyou cats :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Please let us know how you got on hun (((((hugs))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 It was okay.... very scary and nerve racking but bearable. They are going to set up a meeting with my case manager and my teachers and me so the college are fully awake of my needs and my mh. My fiance came with me in the end as I have been switching alters like crazy we didn't wanna risk a full blow "attack" on my first day.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonkers101 Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Well done to you!! Your positive attitude is really commendable and you have overcome a lot! I hope you continue to make progress - what are you studying?? Have a great week xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdagger82 Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 So glad it went well for you HiddenAngel, sounds like the college are going to be supportive of you as well. I hope things continue to go well for you. BD xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thankyou all. I'm finishing units of year 12 that I missed (due to being in hospital) and doing bachelor of counter terrorism, security and intelligence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdagger82 Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 WOW, that sounds really interesting and very very impressive. I did my degree in Politics just after 9/11 so we did some stuff on that but my speacialism was Eastern European transition to democracy. Good luck with it HiddenAngel, I am very impressed. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thanks BD your comment means a lot to me. Have to say I'm pretty proud of myself You can kinda understand now why I have to keep my alters kinda under control.... could you imagen what would happen if 1 broke a national security secret or something.... not good lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 I have used me daily quota of my green positive points ill mark it tomorrow :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 YAY well done I'm really happy for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honeyflower Posted July 25, 2011 Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 well done :masked: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHiddenAngel Posted July 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thankyou cats and honeyflower. Been switching alters all night so I haven't slept and today is my first official full school day with all my classes. Starting to get worried about switching but if it happens ill just have to deal with it the best I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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