BigHeight Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 So, I've come to the decision to book a doctors appointment for sometime next week about what i think is depression. But how do i start off telling them about it? I'm keeping in mind its a total stranger and it will be hard for me to tell them everything i'm feeling, but i don't think it's normal anymore, to feel this way. Most things say it's confidential if your 16 and the doctors i go has a website which says if your under 16 you must be accompanied by an adult so surely, it will be confidential, right? I just need to try book it, without my mum knowing and go to the damn appointment, although it's gonna be a struggle getting there as no bus from where i live goes to there, so it's gonna be a bus trip and alot of walking. Can anyone tell me who's told a doctor about there depression how it is? What they say? I'm a worrier, so this is making me worry like crazy. I keeep having crazy moments where i really don't know what to do with myself, but i'm not suicidal just deeply upset. Please give me some help, advice, tips? It's harder when the doctors a stranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abstract312 Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 hi bigheight I don't quite remember what my psychiatrist told me the first time I talked to her. But I would recommend you to make some kind of a list of all the things you want to say to her, it will be easier for you I think, and try to talk about the things that you think are of great importance. I don't think your doctor will judge you that's not their job she/he will listen to you, maybe prescribe you some meds etc. The point is you should not think about her/his reaction, it is you and you condition that matter, always remind yourself that you're doing it for yourself, that you're trying to help yourself and going to the doctor is just a way to help yourself. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja. Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 i agree. i think a list is important. good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 Hiya, yeah, a list is a really good idea - i've gone to my docs quite a few times with a list of all the things going on for me.... and often, i've just said "i'm sorry, i can't quite bring myself to say it out loud just yet/i can't find my voice at the moment, can you please read this?" and handed it over. They've been really good, really supportive, and kind. I don't remember seeing the doctor about my depression for the first time, as i was diagnosed when i was just a kid - i think i was about 6... I do remember going about my eating disorder a few years ago though, which was linked in with my low mood too, and the doctor i spoke to was amazing, truly. I just sat there and said "this is a bit hard for me to talk about, so please bear with me..." and I said something like "I know i've lost weight...quite a lot of weight... the thing is, i don't need any tests doing or anything, cause it's intentional. I just don't feel very good, i feel upset a lot of the time, and get angry, and all these other uncomfortable emotions, and i don't think i'm coping with them all that well... controlling my weight, it feels like I at least have some control over something, when it feels like every single other thing is massively beyond my control. I don't like it, it's making life really uncomfortable for me, and i'm not very happy. I'd really like some help with it please." She smiled at me and said "you know, that was a really brave thing you just did. Well done. Now, let's see what I can do to help you, shall we?" and you know, it was a brave thing, and i never in a million years thought i would manage it, but i did, as do many, many people. I hope that's of some help, as I know it's depression you're going about, but i guess the key things are keeping yourself calm - slow, deep breaths - and expressing how you're feeling, and that you would like some support. The doc will probably ask you a bit about your life at the moment - is there anything in particular that is making you feel so down? Just remember to keep calm... There's nothing wrong with expressing that you're having trouble putting it into words, or that you're scared, etc.... Doctors see so many people who have depression and low mood, it's a really common thing, so you're not going to shock them. I'm sure they'll be supportive of you. It's a really brave thing to do - to admit that maybe we need some help - and it can be scary too, but hopefully this is a very good step in the right direction to get you some support, and I wish you the very best with it Be sure to let us know how it goes, won't you? Crip x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myla Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 Definitely take a list in case you forget things. If you end up not needing the list it doesn't matter. The doctor will probably ask questions too and maybe get you to do a questionnaire. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillv Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 I'm glad you've decided to go to the doctor. Just to reasure you, the doctor won't tell your parents about your consultation GPs are often very reluctant to give anti depressants to under 18s as often these drugs are only recommended to over 18s, unless prescribed by a psychiatrist. But he may refer you to a counsellor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigHeight Posted August 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Thankyou for all your brilliant replies. A list would be useful! I think i may write down how i've been feeling and hand it to the doctor? I believe i NEED to do this, to move forward. I don't know what's caused it but theres factors and i'm not sure i'd like to tell the doctor those things, but i'll give it my best shot. I'll make an appointment on monday when it opens, and hopefully i can tell you all that it went fine. A councellor would be great i guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Don't worry - it's up to you how much or how little you share. I highly doubt you would have to go into any great detail, just maybe a general overview..... like if it was me going for a first appt now, i'd probably say "my mum's marriage broke down when i was 12, and it was a particularly nasty divorce for all of the family, i was bullied through school, got in with a "bad" crowd and began to bunk school as a way to avoid the bullies. I don't have many friends and rarely see the few i do have, as i feel panicky when i leave the house or am in big groups. i find myself crying for no reason sometimes, and am irritable and snap at people a lot. I don't sleep too great, have nightmares often, and my moods just feel generally all over the place - up in the clouds one minute, on the floor the next." that kind of thing Something that may be worth thinking about as well, cause you'll probably be asked, is how long you think you've been feeling this way? again, you don't have to be specific, just a general idea, or if you're not sure, just say Crip x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigHeight Posted August 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Thankyou Crippie, your being a great help. Sorry to hear that you've felt like that I have felt this way for overa year now, gradually with it getting worse. I really hope they keep it confidential, and help me. I have been used a few months ago and for some reason, it really upset me and it still does. But moving on from that, i am going to try say as much as i can, so the doctor can really understand how i feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 7, 2011 Report Share Posted August 7, 2011 Theres nothing i can really add to the great advice youve been given so far but i wanted to wish you good luck with your appt. I dont like sitting around in the waiting rooms so i find it helps if i don't get there early, that cuts down the waiting time tho sometimes the doctors are running late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigHeight Posted August 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 I booked an appointment, then cancelled it. I didn't realize it was for tomorrow at 10:30, i have no way of getting there which perusaded me more to cancel it. I'm just scared they'll ring, and check it or something and it will be my mum who answers. Plus i could get there and they'll say they can't keep it confidential. Today is hard, again. I can't keep doing it, it's so so hard and it's just killing me now. I have this whole day to get through and it's only 11:30. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 8, 2011 Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 thats a shame you had to cancel it but its ok, if you couldnt get there its good to cancel it then someone else can use the appt. I'm sure they wont phone, i don't think i've ever cancelled an appt but i don't think they bother phoning if you don't turn up so i doubt they would phone if you cancelled. I bet lots of ppl book appts than discover they can't go at that time after all and they must be used to people who book an appt when they are ill but then they get better and dont need the appt anymore. i think the confidentiality thing is probably the same as with counsellors. if they are concerned you are a danger to yourself they might contact the police or social services but what they won't do is contact a family member. and if they are concerned they will talk to you about it first, they won't just send you home and get straight on the phone to someone. they will ask you stuff like do you have any plans, are you likely to carry them out. i think it takes a lot for them to contact anyone, i'm sure they know that can sometimes cause more trouble and you can always say at the appt, please dont tell my family, it will make things much worse. when they were really concerned about me the most they ever did was give me the samaritans no and tell me to come back next week. You could always ask the doctor to explain the confidentiality rules before you tell them anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myla Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 I wouldn't worry about them phoning as they probably only might ring if you'd just not turned up rather than cancelled. Hope you managed to get through the rest of day. Really hope you're feeling able to make another appointment soon. You'll never know if things can improve if you don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx These people are specialised in helping teens/kids with advice and they promise confidentiality.You can ask them about your gp's confidentiality and other things you might be concerned about............. Lily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strangeone Posted August 11, 2011 Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 Hi, I don't think I can quite give advice as such (and this is my first post here), but I wanted to say that I went to see doctor for the first time this Monday. Except I wasn't sensible like you, and didn't even think of going when I'd been depressed for a year. I'd been putting it off since I was 14 (I'm 19 now). I booked appointments, cancelled them or didn't manage to make myself go; I've been just as scared as you about confidentiality, about them calling my mum and everything. Even just making the phone call to book the appointment almost gave me a heart attack. The truth is, they can't legally call your mum unless you're under 16, the worst they can do is have you taken to hospital if you're a danger to yourself or other people. But you've already said that you're not suicidal or self-harming so there's no risk of that. It was an absolutely terrifying experience, I'm not going to lie. Not because of the doctor, he was calm and helpful. It was purely because I'd let myself worry so much about it, and I'd had so long to think about it. There's also always that fear that they won't be able to help. You just have to keep telling yourself that it's going to be worth it. I left it so long that the doctor did want me to go to A&E, and that is not a good place to be in life. The longer you leave it without getting help, the worse it could get, and then the harder it'll become to try and get help. Sorry for the rambling, I'm not exactly making sense these days. Hope it helps though. (Also, I wish someone had told me to write a list first, that would have saved me a lot of sweating...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigHeight Posted August 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 StrangeOne - Your reply made a lot of sense, actually. And i feel like that about confidentiality etc. And i realize it only gets worse. But some days, like today hopefully i feel a bit better, and then think don't go the doctors, but then sometime i will feel so low i'll consider ringing up. If it gets worse, i will book another appointment, and make sure I go because by the sounds of it, it's helped you. You were brave for going the doctors I truly think it will help you now, thankyou, you've made me feel a little better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 11, 2011 Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 It might be worth going even if you do feel good, even tho you only feel bad sometimes its still a horrible feeling when it happens and if taking anti depressants that even a tiny bit better it might make a big difference to your life. and welcome to the site StrangeOne :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigHeight Posted August 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 I've thought about telling my mum, and going the docs. I will have to find the guts first, but i will do this eventually. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 11, 2011 Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 you are very brave. good luck with both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 11, 2011 Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 Hey again BigHeight, it's good to see you posting I'm really glad to hear that you do plan to go to the docs. I know it's scary, but I really think it's worth a shot. GPs can be great, and not only with regards to prescribing anti-depressants and such, but also with giving you contact details of other places that can offer you support and advice, give you someone to talk to. Keep us posted Crip xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigHeight Posted August 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 It's something I NEED to do though, i think? It's just telling mum, or how to say it. I don't even know whats wrong with me or why i feel this way sometimes so :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myla Posted August 11, 2011 Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 Please don't hesitate if you feel bad again. Hope tomorrow is a better day too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myla Posted August 11, 2011 Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 Sorry x-posted BigHeight. Is your mum likely to be supportive? I wouldn't want her to make you feel worse. A couple of ways: 1) straight to the point ie. "I think I might be depressed" or 2) describing how you feel / think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 11, 2011 Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 I think going to the doctors is something you need to do. I dont think you need to tell your mum if you don't want to. But its going to be different for every person. maybe concentrating on one thing at a time is the way to go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigHeight Posted August 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2011 Yeah, i just feel like i'm going behind her back. But i just feel it's time to seek help. I don't know, maybe i should tell her? I'm not wanting to though, meh. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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