Paula Posted June 16, 2005 Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 my social worker spoke to my psych about my side effects. she advised coming off the procyclidine, as it is that which is causing the blurred vision. so it's a case of have jaw locking and teeth grinding, or blurred vision? hmm, nice choice she also said she wants to reduce the quetiapine, and i was like, well, can we sort this out soon, i.e before the weekend.. they are gonna try get it sorted and call me tomorrow morning. i swear they dont know what the fuck they are prescribing. i really wanna come off the quetiapine anyway, i've been asking that for months. i hate it. am tempted to try and reduce it myself if i dont get any answers. i know withdrawal is dangerous but i've done it loads of times before and i know to be very very careful and reduce by tiny amounts. it's just starting to piss me off now. i actually said to my SW yesterday, i'm sick of all these appointments and changes and phone calls. just wanna see how i go for a bit. wish they would back off. but the fact is i havnt had a good history and they are shit scared. cos i've been on advanced level on my CPA form and i was sectioned too. just want my life back. had a good day at work again today. honestly, this week has gone SO quickly. havnt even been on here much, no time... so much to do, and been making LOADS of cards..the lounge looks like a little craft workshop, with bits of ribbon and papers and sequins everywhere! lol. i just left it when i got tired last night and went to bed..lol. was lovely to come home and look at what i made last night. really pleased with the finished ones yay. having fun. doing well. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted June 16, 2005 Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 Pinks, I am so happy for you! Guess those cards wont be coming to America but I know whoever gets them will be happy. Don't screw with your meds. You have been a long time getting where you are at and you don't want to jeporadize that! Its so nice to hear you chating happily. let your docs (as incompetent as they may be ) help you to reduce them. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caz Posted June 16, 2005 Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 :) Glad you had a good day at work. How much quetiapine are you on? I'm on a minimal amount and don't like it but I have to admit reluctantly that it might be helping to keep my mood a bit more stable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted June 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 caz, i am on 100mg now, was on 100mg twice a day in hospital but they reduced it before i got discharged. i hate it. and now i gotta stop the procyclidine, the jaw locking thing will return nothing has helped with the shaking though sometimes i think, why did i agree to meds again? i spent 2 years resisting meds. even when matt left me, and i was at one of the lowest parts of my LIFE, and i was feeling suicidal, i got through it without meds. hate the way every crisis feels like it is worse than the last one. that's how it feels to me. every time i can feel myself slipping, i plunge further and further into crisis, and i always think "i've never been this bad before" reality is, i probably have. guess that's just BPD. and it's so easy to rationalise all this now. now that i am well. i can see it now. i can see my behaviour patterns. i know my own mind very well. i have really learned so much about myself, through researching, reading books, thinking and writing. and i can see where things go wrong. i can identify negative feelings and try and work on them, rather than letting them overwhelm me. i have successfully fought negative feelings for a few months now, and i am so proud of myself. i also feel so comfortable with myself as a person because i understand now. i think that was the problem, you know? i didnt understand what was happening, so i just acted out the whole time and became very self destructive. but now i understand. now i get it. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted June 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 by the way, betsy, i would happily send you some cards if you wanted? i do all occasions.. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caz Posted June 16, 2005 Report Share Posted June 16, 2005 Seablue What you are saying is brilliant. It is just what I am working on. Sort of trying to be aware of what is happening to me instead of reacting to every little thing. I just can't manage it yet when I get too emotional or depressed-some days things spin out of control. I'm glad that you give hopr it can be overcome. I guess I'm saying yes I could manage without the meds but would life be harder or easier. I don't know the answer to that but being really unstable sucks and I don't want that again. I'm only on 25mg quetiapine (was on 75mg) but even that makes me tired and listless. But it also helps to calm my anxiety and keep me stable. Its a hard call but for the moment I'm going with the psychiatrists advice as I wasn't running life too good. Keep up the fantastic job you're doing in recovery! :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted June 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2005 thanks caz yeah, i do get really tired on the quetiapine. but i had a phone call yesterday and they are gonna reduce my quetiapine. i gotta sort it out with my psych. i gotta ring her on monday and see if she can give me some lower dose tablets as i only have 100's and they dont cut in half lol things are looking up anyway. my plan is to gradually reduce and come off the quetiapine, as i think the depakote helps me most, and the sertraline definitely improved my mood. just hate the quetiapine and really done think i need it atm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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