CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 So, the nurse from the crisis - duty - team came out today, was here for a few hours. Thankfully myself and L had gotten up and ready early so I managed to get him to my nana's and get home before they turned up. I'm a little confused as to what is happening. She said that she was pleased about starting T at the start of September, but then said that it was a long while away when I'm feeling like I am, and that she wants to see what she can do to get me into the psych unit on a voluntary basis before that point, as apparently they see that as the best step forwards in getting me stable on medication and keeping me safe. I asked her how long the stay would be, and what it would involve, but she answered my questions with questions of her own, which has left me feeling really unsure. This, coupled with the fact that the past wee while my mum and nana have been behaving really strangely around me, makes me feel like something is going on that is being kept from me. Thought about mentioning this feeling to her, but thought better of it, as the last thing I need is her seeing it as paranoia - i think i have enough going on without them adding that to the list too. So, in short, I don't really know what is happening fully yet, but I've been told to expect a phonecall later this afternoon to discuss a possible hospital stay. I was told to have a think about getting some things packed, but how I'm supposed to do that when I have no idea how long i'm supposed to be going for, is completely beyond me. Anyway, I went round to my nana's and put a washing load on, and have got my holdall with 3 pairs pjs, 2 pairs jeans, pair joggers, 3 t-shirts, 2 tops, hoody, dressing gown, towels, and a toiletry bag. I've got some more clothes ready, so can just shove them in if need be. I thought I'd feel scared, but I don't. I just feel so weary of it all. Guess I just have to wait and see what is said in the phonecall. =/ xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Good luck hun, have you been in psyche hospital before? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 I think it is a good move Crippie to have a stay in hospital and it is always best to go in on a voluntary basis if you can rather then be sectioned. You said that you feel so weary and I think this will give you some time out and time to rest, get stabilised on your meds and begin to recover. Let us know what is happening xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thankyou. Yep hun, not voluntarily though. I wasn't really aware of me arriving there or what came before that, I wasn't very stable at the time, at all. I'm a little confused about it all, as I'm aware of the process with it being voluntary. I thought I had asked the right questions, but it seems questions aren't allowed. Guess I'll wait and find out soon enough, though. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thanks Cats hun, Yes, they mentioned that at the moment, they wouldn't attempt to section me as I seem to be calm and not particularly responsive, certainly not hysterical or aggressive etc, but that the listlessness is a cause for concern, especially following the thing with the tablets, and the self-harm, and want me to work with them to allow them to help me get better so it doesn't reach the point where it becomes involuntary. I just kind of wanted to cry, but at the same time, felt a little too distant from the whole situation, so any emotion shown seemed like it would be false. I've been pretty dissociated all day, drifting in and out, and it's all like a bit of a dream-state at the moment, but then it rushes back for a while. Mentioned this to my mum in passing on the phone just now - she knows a bit about dissociation as she experiences it herself - and she said it's probably the shock, and the stress of the past few days. Also, not helping with the stress much, I got a letter about council tax today. I've got to pay it in full as been denied council tax benefit, though God knows why. I'm still waiting to receive the child benefit forms too - they've been due for over 3 weeks now, and have rang them several times to no avail. Mum is sorting it out for me, though, along with my auntie. They're making some calls and going to attend an appt at the benefit office on my behalf. I need to write a letter to confirm that i give them permission to discuss the stuff with them, too. Think i'll do that now, then it's out the way. Sorry, am rambling. Reminds me of as I was going into labour with L, suddenly remembered about 30 things that needed doing before leaving for the hospital, including handwashing sheets for moses basket, hoovering my mattress, making about 4 dozen cakes, and a quick cup of tea. Doh. xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Just got the phonecall. They only have 20 beds at the local unit, and none are empty at the moment. I've got someone from the crisis team coming out again, and going to sort getting me back to the day unit monday-fri and will contact me let me know soon as bed is avail, but said they don't know when that will be as there are no informal patients in at the moment. Seeing crisis twice in one day. Grrr. once is once too many, I think! Oh well. Needs must. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 (((((Crippie)))))) I'm glad they finally showed up, i wonder if they will come again today. I hope they do, twice in a day is too much but as theyve said they are coming, its better if they come so you can get it over with and you arent sitting around waiting. I'm sorry you werent satisfied with them. I don't see whats bad about asking questions, it is important to know whats going on, being kept in the dark doesnt help! maybe the next person who comes will be better at answering your questions. I hope your mum and nan arent hiding things from you, thats not really fair. I suppose asking them would just make things worse for you? I really hope they make the decision thats best for you, the decision that makes you feel as good as possible, thinking of you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Hiya Emma sweetie, I've just got off the phone to a lady from the team now. I was a bit worried, as there is one person there who I cannot stand at all and refuse to have anything to do with, but there are three others who seem really lovely, and one in particular is Theresa, and it was her who rang me and she is coming out!! I know i'll be able to ask her questions and she'll answer them, i've had a few dealings with her, at one point saw her on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday of every week for nearly 5 weeks. She has always been really really kind to me, so i'm really relieved about that. She said that she should be here just after half past 6, and so I'm to "get the kettle on, but shh!" cause they're not supposed to accept drinks or food or anything like that when they visit clients. It makes me feel more comfortable with her that she does accept drinks here, and has helped me eat a chocolate cake on one occasion too! As I know she obviously wouldn't dare risk it if there was any doubt in her mind as to whether I could be trusted to 1) not poison her 2) not accuse her of stealing my belongings or 3) not make a complaint of her being unproffessional. My nana has just text me and she's said that my mum is at hers now, and that's only a couple of streets away from here, so maybe my mum will call in here on her way home. If she does, I think I may ask her if there is something going on that her and nana are keeping from me. It might make things worse, yes, but I guess i'll either find out that i was correct, be told to mind my own business which will mean that i was correct, or I'll get one of those "omg, you really are a proper mentalist, aren't you?" looks, in which case it is me just being paranoid. But at least I'll know, right? Thankyou sweetie, for your kind words and all your support. I'll be sure to pop back this evening and let you know how it went and what the plan is. xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 crippie very tired to write much but thinking about you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thank you Christine hunni xxxx I'm still waiting, but it's not so bad. I've managed to tidy downstairs up a bit and have got the kettle filled ready, and am now upstairs, have sorted clothes out and put them away and am just sorting through my make up to keep my busy. She shouldn't be too long now. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Well, she's here, but she's had to step outside to take a call, so i've come back on here. am so nervous. My head is spinning. She's answered my questions, and said we need to focus on getting me into the day unit for now though and deal with the inpatient stuff as and when. Said it might not even be the case if i'm co-operative and stuff. My head feels completely battered. Oh, she's coming back in the front door now. Going to my nana's after this. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 I'm so glad Theresa is coming out. I know what you mean, its a bit friendlier if you have a cup of tea together and like you say it does show she trusts you. that must be such a relief she's coming and that you will be able to ask what you need to. Being told you are paranoid is probably a relief when the alternative that people are planning things behind your back. just saw your new reply, i'm sorry the replies didn't help, hopefully she will be able to reassure you a bit now shes back xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedup! Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 thinking of you Crippstress xxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 sounds like they really have ur back, i hope it all continues to work out, keep us posxted, we all care about you here xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 hope it all goes well hun xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honeyflower Posted August 17, 2011 Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 hope it all goes well hun.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 17, 2011 Thankyou everyone :') It went okay in the end. It's been sorted that I'll go back to the day unit Mon-Fri, starting on Friday morning, for the next while. They're going to get me in to see the psychiatrist before Friday - so, tomorrow! lol I only just realised that - to discuss medication changes, and hopefully get something sorted there with that too. *****MAY TRIGGER***** I removed razors from bathroom and put my "safe" (they're much blunter than the other set, so work for cutting food only) knife-block out in the kitchen to remove temptation, and have handed that property - the other knife-set and my razors - over to Theresa, who has taken them over to my mum's for me for her to keep them there until I'm more stable and feeling better able to not hurt myself. I haven't got rid of my little box of sharp objects, but at the same time, there are only 6 or 7 blades in there, all of which are blunt as i've not replaced any of them recently and don't intend to. I need to keep the box here, but i've compromised with Th and put it even more out of the way than usual (it's in a bigger box on a shelf at the back of the cupboard under the stairs, and the door is locked so the little one can't get into it). Something happened just now coming back from my nana's though, but i'm gunna post about that elsewhere as not suitable for here. thankyou for all your support. xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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