Tray Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 who knows. i have been thinking for a while i need to tell my family, but duno where to start. only a few close friends and a few work collegues know i have it. i think this is whats been triggering me lately, the wanting to tell but being scared to do it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LStewart Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Tray, The only people that know I have BPD is my husband and my psychiatrist. I would NEVER tell anyone else (but that is just me) because I would not want the stigma that follows it. People can be so cruel. Once they know you have something, they look at you and treat you diffferently. They whisper behind your back and dismiss you like you are nothing because you aren't like them. Sorry, just the way I feel! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 I don't really know how to vote hun, as I'm pretty open with people about it - my family all know, (mum, (soon-to-be) step-dad, father, step-mother, nana, 2 aunties, 3 uncles, 1 cousin (the other one i see often is too young). Everyone I have on my fb knows, due to me posting awareness stuff about BPD (and other MH issues) quite often on there and I've received a fair few messages asking why i am so keen to do so, which i've replied to honestly. 2 of my nana's friends know, a few of my mum's friends know, one of my closest auntie's friends know. Ermm... I think i just figured out i probably need to answer "everyone"!!! But yeah. I don't shout if from the rooftops, but i don't hide it either. some people are cruel. some are really supportive. others are indifferent, and some seem to just forget. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skp67 Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 My hubby and a few of my friends who also have bpd and schizophrenic friend. My family dont understand my hubby tried explaining to them but they wernt interested so no as far as i am concerned they dont know! I am meeting my new psychiatrist soon, i'm scared because i dont know what to expect. So not only have i changed cpn but now also her. Also i have to go to a completly different town as my cpn is based there. Oh the joys of change grrrrrrrrr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 All of my family but I only have contact with my brother so I'm sure the rest don't even think about me or maybe haven't been told the exact dx and just think I've got MH issues. I told my next door neighbour once and I think she's just forgotten about it - she's never been any different with me since. My hubby and his family but MH runs all the way through their family so they are very understanding. If I ever get to the point when I can work again - I wouldn't tell anyone that I worked with. I do have a problem with feeling that I have to confess to it and everything that has happened in my life this is what happened with my neighbour. The main reason I told her was because I wanted her to know how badly we (hubby and I) can suffer on a daily basis and that is the reason why we don't work and have to claim benefits. I don't know why I feel like I have to explain myself to people. But now, I don't have any new friends because I find my life is simpler and easier to cope with, with the least people in it as possible. I can't ever see me wanting to make new friends but if I ever did, I'm not sure what I'd do but if they had MH problems themselves I would tell them, if they didn't I don't know but I would probably be taken over with the feeling of needing to confess and tell them. If you do decide to tell your family could you have someone with you who already knows to give you some support. Good luck with whatever you decide xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crow Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 My friends and the family I still speak to know about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 My husband, who doesn't agree with the diagnosis. I don't know, people here, on a few other sites. I am sure I told my family but I would absolutely shocked if they could remember what I'd said. Maybe some of my inlaws know, I dunno, I don't really talk about it. I mainly talk about depression so maybe people just think I have a depression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja. Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 medical professionals obviously. no one in family. family know about depression. i did say to one of my sisters just after i was diagnosed that yeah i'd been diagnosed with a mental illness. she asked which one. i said i wasn't saying because i was getting my own head round it first, and she hasn't asked since, so fine by me. a few close friends. my manager at work who is a big support to me. think that's it re bpd, but quite open re depression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 My family know, and of course the professionals. I don't make a habit of disclosing it, because i find that most people will define you based on that one label. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 This is interesting, but what would you (asking anyone and everyone) say if someone said, "Oh I haven't been well I got a personality disorder you see". Why this makes me laugh I don't know, but I actually don't know what I'd say, I suppose I say, "Yeah, me too, shit innit". That is not a great response though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja. Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 This is interesting, but what would you (asking anyone and everyone) say if someone said, "Oh I haven't been well I got a personality disorder you see". Why this makes me laugh I don't know, but I actually don't know what I'd say, I suppose I say, "Yeah, me too, shit innit". That is not a great response though! it completely depends on how well i know them, but probably something vague along the lines of 'well, i have experience of that too, and i know that it makes a difference to me when i can speak to people who actually understand it, so if you ever want to talk or need any support, please know i'm here'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 I don't know what I would do and that is terrible. But then I find it hard when people say they have any illness actually so I guess that is why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja. Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 i don't think it is terrible. none of us really know what we would do in any situation until it happens xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honeyflower Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 My husband knows,I told my family ages ago I don't think they even know what BPD is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crow Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 This is interesting, but what would you (asking anyone and everyone) say if someone said, "Oh I haven't been well I got a personality disorder you see". I had a go at someone that said something like that to me. It's like people use the PD term as an insult. It's just ignorance though I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Yeah but I mean like if they REALLy did have 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crow Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Yeah but I mean like if they REALLy did have 1. Oh yeah I see what you mean. Since I was diagnosed I look at people differently. I think "Hmm I bet so and so that I used to work with must have BPD." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaTsEyEs Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 I have never done that, I swear on the whole I only meet dull people. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 My mum and stepdad,not my biological dad. My brother,stepsister and their partners. My cousin Im close to. Im not sure about the rest of the family have never told them myself but am also not keeping it a secret. My friends L and E. My hubby. Thats it,I only tell people when i get close to them I worry about the stigma and usually just mention depression. Lily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crow Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 I have never done that, I swear on the whole I only meet dull people. You obviously never met some of my family or my ex-manager. Haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tray Posted August 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2011 thanks guys. i have this overwhelming desire to tell all at the mo, i told my niece a few months back and i think, as does my best mate, that this is whats triggered this bad episode in me, the self harm is getting worse etc, my mate said its like i now have acceptance kinda to behave like that, i know what she means... i think if i did tell anyone it would be easier to just say depression. its something i really need to think about. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted August 28, 2011 Report Share Posted August 28, 2011 told my two sisters, they didnt react, ask what it was or even offer support, 2 friends know, one doesnt agree with the diagnosis, and professionals, and now about to disclose via occ health assessment and my union rep knows he is a mental health practitioner so didnt mind him knowing or undestanding, though he too gave the impression he didnt agree as he know me through work. whats sad is getting no response or support, if I had time again wouldnt tell family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted August 28, 2011 Report Share Posted August 28, 2011 hey tray, i think u have great insight when u said just then its like its acceptable for u to behave like that. this is the problem i found - i tell ppl but then its ok for me to be 'crazy' have u ever thought of telling them stuff like 'now that ive told u i may self harm more'? why is it u wanna tell them so much? i have known u for a while an known u live ur life without ur family knowing. just curious take good care toasties xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tray Posted August 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2011 hey toastie, i duno i have just decided im fed up af hiding it, it drains me having to act 'normal' all the while, but i think if id do tell them i will have the excuse to be not normal iykwim, im confused lol x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted August 28, 2011 Report Share Posted August 28, 2011 I eventually told my family over the course of several years and they have less and less to do with me. They don't really hold me responsible for myself as much or maybe its the other way around. I don't care so I don't bother to be normal or participate. Occasionally I will if I am doing well. Mostly, they don't know what it is, don't care to understand it, and don't bother me. If acceptance is what you are looking for, I think our invalidating family homes will more or less be just as invaliding. Only my sis has taken me to task for it, saying she knows I have a PD but, this is gone on too long, lol. Poor thing, I just thought omg, has it really now? has it really gone on too long for you? My darling sis, what an inconvenience. *of course I keep that seething response to myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.