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Who Knows You Have Bpd?


Tray

  

87 members have voted

  1. 1. who knows you have BPD

    • everyone
      21
    • family
      34
    • close friends
      32


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Hi All,

Some of my Family and some of my friends know I have BPD. I think it makes it easier for me when i'm having an episode to deal with if people around me are aware.

xXx

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  • 1 year later...

Who knows: my immediate family --> they treat me like shit because of it but it was kind of unavoidable telling them considering I was in hospital etc and needed help financially for therapy etc -- they would have treated me crappy regardless though lets be honest lol they have many reasons they like to hate on me lol

I don't know if my extended family knows or not- I didn't tell them...I don't know if my parents did or not

my friends all know I'm pretty sure and fb friends as I also sometimes post MH awareness stuff--> most are very supportive or themselves have mental health issues etc or are activists etc so support this type of things. Some of my friends I feel probably judge me because of this but really it's thier loss cuz I"m still awesome and if they want to make negative assumptions about me they can just go on ahead and do that but I'm not going to bake them any cupcakes lolol ok they can still have cupcakes- but they will be less fancy lol sometimes I regret telling them when I get into my negative self judgement/ interpreting/ ruminating/catastrophizing mode --but I think for me part of reducing stigma is the conversation so I'm willing to step up and be part of that even if my name gets drageed through the mud a lil lol

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anyone that will listen.....I need people to hear about it and understand it...I want to fight for the discrimination aganst mental illness to stop...:-D

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hey, i forgot about this thread... well i did eventualy end up telling my family, in feb 2013 when really off my head, i have made a post somwhere about it. im kinda glad i did now, althou i do get more grief of the oarnets for when im misbehving wiv drink anf that, but in all, i am glad i spoke out

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I didn't vote in the end as I have told plenty of people...but none of them know. I've been given the cold shoulder basically, none of my family will just listen that I have this and it would make their life easier to follow the links I provide them on what BPD is

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I find this topic really frustrating... when I tried to tell to some of my friends about BPD the reply I had was something like "oh no, you're crazy... you're not BPD, you're just a bit depressed or with some anxiety... borderline patients are really crazy and you're amazing... you're too perfect to be BPD".

When someone tells me that I am "too normal" or "too perfect" I just get angry and only I want to do is to scream "you don't know shit about me."

Does this happen to anyone else?...

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  • 4 weeks later...

my grandmother knows she is the only family i have left alive.. i told my current boyfriend and a few ex's i just feel if they know what i have mabye my behavior will make more sence to them, my boyfriend tends to ignore it he says its just an excuse...i seem to put him through so much pain and i just dont know how, its just hurts me to know i can hurt someone and not even be aware why or how i am

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my family know they dont understand they feel worn out by me some close friends know but thats about it

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Well my boyfriend now knows and he hasn't left me so that's something! My family also know but they're ignoring it as they can't handle mental health stuff very well : S

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Tray,

The only people that know I have BPD is my husband and my psychiatrist. I would NEVER tell anyone else (but that is just me) because I would not want the stigma that follows it. People can be so cruel. Once they know you have something, they look at you and treat you diffferently. They whisper behind your back and dismiss you like you are nothing because you aren't like them. Sorry, just the way I feel!

Claire, I dont understand your apology. You are protecting yourself and its the best thing you can do.

It is NEVER in your own interest to out yourself. A lesson learned hard.

Elke

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I have said it in a flippant type of manner to my hubby, as I wanted him to know that I was getting some sort of treatment because I feel bad for the way I treat him. I said it's complex mixed personality disorder, mainly with BPD, schizotypal and avoidant traits. I mentioned to one friend/person I hang out with from work, and two of my penpals who have MH issues themselves... xx

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My whole family knows. My mom only(?) accuses me of being sick, she has Alzheimers and wouldnt understand anyway. My son knows and he slaps it around me ears whenever he gets the chance. My sister knows and the last time I spent ONE night in clinic she asked (and influenced) my mom who asked me the same question "Why did they let you OUT so soon????" Slapstick comedy situation.

My niece (who knows from my sister) recently asked me "Why dont you have yourself institutionalized for the rest of your life?"

In my experience, if there are too many who know, its time to move and keep your mouth shut about it. It really isnt in your own interest.

I responded to an ad yeeeears go from someone with BPD. He was looking for others with the same daignosis "for the purpose of exchanging experiences". I replied. Today I believe he was just looking for a "therapist" to listen to him (which I often did, sometimes until 3 a.m. in the morning). He told me his last therapist fell asleep on him.

Elke

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've been becoming open about it, my friends say its because I'm healing and accepting it. But I know that's crap, it's just I can't keep hiding it, I'm too exhausted trying to sugar coat it all.

I know it's not a terminal illness but I'm not healing I'm not getting better and I know this will kill me one day. Just feel that day is getting closer as I can't even bother to try to pretend.

You only have to look at me to see I'm 'mentally unstable' or so I've been told. So why pretend? Why sugar coat everything? Why try to fit in? Make people like me? It's all pointless and right now I need all the energy I have just to keep breathing, just to 'hang in one more day' blah blah blah. :-(

Just as people start to take me serious I'm getting to the point if why bother! I've been asking for help for 3 years, seriously struggling for 6 months. And now people notice me?? If I was really important they would have noticed months ago.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

I want to play devils advocate and say that I think it IS okay to sometimes out yourself. I outed myself and I am happy with the decision. It helps to reveal who are the right people to keep in your life, the ones who can accept you just as you are. Not saying it's the right choice for everyone, but you also can't say it's not the right choice for some people - cuz for some people it works and it can help to reduce stigma

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  • 2 months later...

My mother (my sibling also is BPD and can't know about me) and some close friends. My manager knows that i suffer from depression and i guess that she would be very surprise if i told the truth. I don't appear to be BPD at all when at work. A bit emotional but that's all.

I too get told that i am not unwell enough to be BPD. It makes me feel lonely but on the other i get to be treated as regular as anybody else.

I too also want to fight stigma very much.

xxx

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  • 3 weeks later...

I mentioned it briefly to my husband but apart from the doctor, no-one knows. I was diagnosed 10 years ago but I am scared stiff of the stigma that'll come with it. People would look at me differently I'm sure and act like they're walking on egg shells around me. x

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Family and boyf atm (Plus the community mental health team)... They were actually a great help in getting me diagnosed. I was suicidally impulsive and they rang round everywhere to get me diagnosed and seen by a duty psych (I couldn't get an appointment with my psych through the CMHT until Dec 2nd).

I think half the town know I have mental health issues though as I dissociated and walked around town after SH in a kind of "manic" state. It's a small town and people love to gossip.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Some of my family know, some of my friends and various others.

I'm not particularly worried about people knowing. I have lived with for a long time now and to be honest I don't care any more what people think about my having mental health issues. Also on my good days I'm proud of who I am and where I have currently got to in life despite having these problems. I want others to know that there is hope.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Interesting reading everyone's response on here to that question.

I must admit I haven't made a point of telling many people but that's more because I don't have that many close friends plus I have not had a chat with my parents in 5 and 6 years (no fall out, just don't talk). However if it came up in conversation or it was necessary for people to understand me, I would tell anyone. My mother in law and father in law who I live with, I would avoid telling them if possible because, after explaining the condition, that would not be enough for them to make their desison on. They would have a pre-opinion of it which sadly not change. Lovely people tho :o)

I suppose this site proves that we all decide who we tell based on so many different factors.

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My mom knows (she's bipolar/OCD/agoraphobic, so I can't scare her), my dad probably overheard, and two of my best friends know (one had a BPD roommate and is studying sociology, the other is someone I share everything with and I really needed to talk about it.

With everyone else I just say I'm depressed or so scatterbrained I was once falsely diagnosed with ADHD. :P

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I just tell folks I'm "old fashioned mad" then if they ask more give them the whole works...most seem to actually enjoy knowing someone who is actually "mad as a box of frogs", totally unpredictable and cries at bad movies and puppies, I also refer to "what used to be known as BPD" because it allows them to ask why it's not now and plenty of other questions, always seems better to answer folks curiosity than simply tell them!

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