Constant Inner Conversations. May Trigger

[bellaboo]

Byfriend on at me too many bones showing he says not enough fat on you others saying your so thin. Im not at all. And then when they say that i think good how big was i before then ive never been bigger than 8/10 uk size im now a 4 uk but i looked and look big built. But a friend from dance school has just commented on a pic of me saying i look well which to me says big healthy steardy or better cos before maybe she thought i was fat. Pic of me on hols yrs back was student drinking swollen belly looked huge. i think bt ut food all time i ate a lot as a kid was always active to extreme always training and was always hungry even as late teen sometimes id hide to snack bit more cos i still felt hungry cos was worried people thought i ate too much. Ive never been overweight technically and always size 8 and athletic but now im freaking out bout this one comment i wish i didnt over think everything liiterally constantly. Vial gross un disciplined idiot maybe theres a fat person inside im trying to fight but they keep winning why cant i be normal have will power not even think bout it. I repulse myself with how i am

[catsmother21]

I have no experience with EDs but wanted to send you some hugs :hug2: xx

[carlylight1]

((((bellaboo))))

i wish brains came with a switch to just shut them up at times.

i don't want to invalidate you, i know it must feel like absolute reality, but theres no way a size 4 could ever look 'big built'. i wish your mind could stop being so harsh

i'm sorry what your friend said triggered you. looking 'well' doesn't always translate to meaning you look healthy(or sturdy as you see it) she might've just meant you looked happy expression wise or that your clothes suited you, something like that.

overthinking things is a nightmare and its no easy thing replacing it with positive self talk but i think various therapies are meant to be able to help with it. take care xxxx