MaddieT Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Hi all, Starting a new therapy group Tuesday - 2 hr session each week for 10 weeks and although i am pleased i have been offered a place i am a bit anxious. Anyone want to share their experiences good and/or bad????? I am worried that i wont like the people or they wont like me and also the subjects/discussions taking place are going to make me angry/upset/act out. In my job i have to be ultra professional, calm etc but i know i wont get as much out of this group by knowing i am not at work and need to be honest and not bite my tongue or stick my head in the sand??? Anyones views much appreciated Maddie xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhair Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 we found it a waste, didnt belong, wasnt right for us, but stuck it out cos thats what they said we had to do, then at the end the group T refered us to someone else, guess u wanted views ours is stick it any way and see what happens even if its not right u never know what will come out of it, guess it did help cos group therapist realised it wasnt right for us and refered us to someone else, which then helped us get the right help ine the end good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted September 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 cheers mhair - at least i will of tried - I am gonna say something that might offend some but there are some right fruit loops at this centre and i am actually quite scared - sorry x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhair Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 lol yeah u right thats what we thought......wtf we dont belong here lol but yeah we all have our probs and can feel out of place, go along anyway, u gotta try, u been offered a place doesnt meanu gotta stay to the end your group T will get to know u and understand your individual needs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 I have done DBT and found it very helpful. I will be honest with you - it is very hard work and it took a lot out of me. So make sure you get plenty of sleep. I also worried about people not liking me but I realised that the most important thing was for me to concentrate on me and benefit from the therapy and if I got on with any of the other people there than that was a bonus. Some of the subjects can be upsetting but it really helped me to accept my dx which I hadn't really done before that. If you do feel upset or feel like acting out the therapist should pick up on this and will help you to feel safe again. If she doesn't then pull her to one side afterwards and talk to her which my therapist was always happy to do - she would rather spend a bit of time with me and make sure I went home safe. I did stick my head in the sand at the beginning and wouldn't talk but the therapist picked up on this and brought me out of myself and then I couldn't shut up!! It was the best therapy I ever did and had quite a bit of just talking therapy before that but it didn't help because my problems were still there and it was skills that I needed to be taught to help with coping with every day life. I do forget about my skills from time to time but I do try to accept it as a way of life now if I want to survive and be better. My life is definitely less chaotic now, considerably less SH-ing and OD-ing and definitely less acting out. I wish you all the best with you and hope it helps you and let us know how it goes and we will be here to support you through it as well if you need us. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted September 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 thanks guys x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundries Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 I think you are very brave to do this. I wouldn't be able to cos I wouldn't be able to deal with the anger I felt about being in the situation of needing it - which is cutting off my nose to spite my face really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crow Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 It was the best therapy I ever did and had quite a bit of just talking therapy before that but it didn't help because my problems were still there and it was skills that I needed to be taught to help with coping with every day life. I feel the same way about DBT. I was a bit nervous at first about being in a group but now I've finished it I actually miss going every week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 I've never had it but i wanted to say good luck Maddie, i hope it goes well xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted September 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Thanks everyone for your comments - I am still very apprehensive but am telling myself that this is what is on offer - thats it if i don't take it i will have no chance the next time the next low comes along - It is a matter of life and death and i am trying to keep myself alive. I have so much shit going on in my life at the moment i need any little strategy/support going. I just hope i don't feel let down - its another knock i really dont need. When i have tried to talk to anyone they just keep telling me how lucky i am and that i should have an open mind. Others just laughed and couldn't understand why i was going - they just said you are highly intelligent and why can't you manage your emotions?? F me but if i knew that i wouldn't be here dur!!! This illness affects anyone regardless of intelligence. I am also very tired - not a great start but will keep going for now ..................its when u stop u think x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crow Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 When i have tried to talk to anyone they just keep telling me how lucky i am and that i should have an open mind. Others just laughed and couldn't understand why i was going - they just said you are highly intelligent and why can't you manage your emotions?? F me but if i knew that i wouldn't be here dur!!! This illness affects anyone regardless of intelligence. Yes, I agree, mental illness doesn't discriminate. I always had people at mental health places mistaking me for a therapist rather than a client. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 good luck i hope it goes well, it can be hard work but your group T should be able to support you along the way, any problems just go to them, it will be hard work at the beginning xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted September 13, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 Hiya guys, Well first group was quite hard - i saw my counsellor first which helped as we did a bit of mindfulness which was quite amusing as we were imagining a wood and all that came to my mind was the Gruffalo story i tell my 4 year old - i actually laughed which was a bit embarassing! The group had some 'interesting' people, and was mainly guys which i was really surprised about. Two sat there and didn't say anything and 1 girl said quite a lot. I did feel quite sad when i had to attach post it notes on feelings and how i saw myself on a drawing of me - it almost put it onto paper all the negative feelings and thoughts about me but i did manage to find two positive things. I actually felt sorry for the pyschologist and occ health therapist as we must of been hard work on the first session, but they were really good listening and did allow people to express themselves even if it was going off track at times. There was one guy there who was quite funny and kept adding on to bits i said and kept saying "yeah i can understand what Maddies saying" or "yeah i feel like that Maddie" which was a bit weird as he has bi-polar and i don't really know that much about that. One guy said me to me in the group that when i was first there he thought i was a counsellor as i didn't look like anyone with a MH problem - i asked him what were we supposed to look like? I think the thing that was qite sad was i was the only one out of 8 people that was working. Made me realise that there are others worse than me and that i am doing well working - even though i am struggling at times and it would be so much easier not working!!!!! Got a meds review tomorrow - they are strongly suggesting that i go back on meds as i have been struggling recently and i know there are going to be periods when i might need some extra help when things are very low. I am against it in some ways so haven't told them that i have dis-associated again twice - i just told my counsellor and we have been working on safe place. Maddie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crow Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 One guy said me to me in the group that when i was first there he thought i was a counsellor as i didn't look like anyone with a MH problem - i asked him what were we supposed to look like? So it's not just me that happens to. Well done for going. I hope it works for you.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted September 14, 2011 Report Share Posted September 14, 2011 Hi Maddie Well done for going - I think the first couple of sessions are always the hardest because you really don't know what to expect. I can remember that there was a lady in our group who had bipolar and BPD so perhaps this guy who could relate to what you were saying has a dual dx as well. My hubby has bipolar and although it is a completely different dx to my BPD there are some similarities in our illnesses. I hope you continue to go and that it really helps you. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted September 14, 2011 Report Share Posted September 14, 2011 well done maddie im glad that you got thru it ok, keep going u r doing fine i know how it feels to sit amonst ppl that u feel are worse, but doesnt mean its any easier for you, well done xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted September 14, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 14, 2011 Hi all, Thanks for your comments - had my med review today with pyschiatrist and back on the Venlafaxine (( Oh well 3 months off meds sort of inevitable that i would be going back on after way i have been feeling. Also gotta go next week for course of 6 weeks twice a week iron injections in my backside - lovely (i can't tolerate the tablets or liquid as it maes me throw up!!!) Then tomorrow i have a colposcopy to be done at hospital as i have severe dyskarosis and then yday my 13 year old was beaten up at school (he has aspergers) so all in all a totally shit week! Good job i am getting meds though not for OD's! Maddie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted September 15, 2011 Report Share Posted September 15, 2011 ((((Iron Lady)))) so sorry to hear about your son and I hope your hospital appt has gone OK today xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted September 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2011 Well been an eventful week and still here! Son is much happier at school as he is now finally geting some more support and he has started his basketball club so enjoying that. Colposcopy was quite traumatic as had a junior trying to do it and kept moving the speculum which was uncomfortable - they found an area of abnormality so decided to do the LLetz treatment straightaway which was a bit sore but i was quite proud of myself for managing it. They also took a biopsy which results take 3 weeks to come through. I in my head have convinced myself i have cancer but trying to kick myself up the ass until i get the results. Had some really sad news on the same day as one of the guys i work with at work had just been diagnosed with bowel cancer on his birthday - he is such a nice guy and i got quite upset - luckily i was at home resting so i managed to cry it all out before i had to go back to work nthe next day. Now on day 4 of Venlafaxine - not a great start threw up violently the first night, haven't thrown up again but feel very nauseaous - appetite gone and very dry mouth. I also feel very jittery and nervous. Pdoc has said keep going - is only very low dose but my body doesn't tolerate meds very well. Looking forward to iron injections next week - NOT!!! Thanks everyone for your replies - I am trying to do the same and be supportive too Maddie xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted September 17, 2011 Report Share Posted September 17, 2011 Good luck with the biopsy, i hope its all ok well done for getting thru the week and glad yor son is enjoying basket ball good luck with iron inj next week emo xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted September 17, 2011 Report Share Posted September 17, 2011 Hi Maddie Well done for getting through all of this. I had abnormal cells when I was 22 and had laser treatment and a DNC and a biopsy and everything was fine and has been ever since. I had to have smear tests more regularly for a while afterwards but I've been back to every 3 years for quite a while now. I hope your results come back clear as well - I think it's always hard not to think the worst with something like this but try not to worry too much. Really sad news about your work colleague and sorry to hear that. Take care sweets xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted September 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2011 Thanks guys for your really nice replies xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted September 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2011 second group session today found it quite strange as myself and person 2 was the only one talking - everyone else sat and looked down or looked bored - this really irritated me as i felt what was the point in being there if you weren't going to contribute even in some small way - but i then felt guilty for feeling that way??? We talked a lot about emotions today and about anger and anxiety and thoughts that led to it. The pyschologist and therapist kept looking and asking me and person 1 to explain things and to be honest i found it a bit much as i was talking about a lot of personal stuff which is difficult when others aren't talking - was more like a one to one session with an audience.I almost felt obliged to talk as no-one else would. When they asked a question i stayed quiet and didn't say anything, i actually felt sorry for the pyschologist. Do you think i should speak to the pyschologist? It annoyed me at the end because when we finished everyone was chatting to each other in their own little sub groups!!! Maddie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted September 20, 2011 Report Share Posted September 20, 2011 Hi Maddie That happened sometimes in the groups that I did as well and I must admit that it was me sometimes that wouldn't or didn't want to say anything that particular day and then other days it would just be me and a couple of others talking. I think it depends on what is going on for people and maybe some of them are having a hard time coming to these groups but I know how annoying it can be for the people wanting to be helped and for the therapist when she has got a quiet room. Keep going and think of yourself and get everything that you need out it. Well done for getting there again. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaddieT Posted September 20, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2011 I am trying to think of others and thinking i might have a bad week and not want to say anything - i think it just annoyed me when they were chatting afterwards. Thanks for replying on my post honey - I know you are having a tough time at the mo and just want you to know i am thinking of you honey xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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