autism-bpd Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 I have been thinking, the abuse i had gone through many times from my dad violently hitting me for 17 years to being raped by men, i have become increasing concerned that my sexuality is changing. Ever since all these abuse i have had from men, i seem and i have noticed that i get on with women a lot and able to trust... This has taken a while to even write this but my sexuality is changing and i seem i like girls and want a female relationship but i am scared. Can abuse ever be the cause for sexuality changes? I am too frightened to tell my friends and my family as i am scared i will loose them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Hi hun, Just a quick reply as my head is a bit silly this evening... I don't know whether abuse can cause sexuality changes as such, but I can understand why if you've been hurt by males in your past, then you would be more wary of them, and would feel more comfortable around females. It could be that you're coming to terms with a diff aspect of your sexuality, and it could be that the abuse from males that you've experienced is a factor in that - females being the "safe" sex for you, and I'd think sometimes that safety could bring about an attraction, perhaps. I'm not sure, but i am sure that you won't be alone in this hun. Sorry, probably not much help. I've been abused sexually by both male and female, but for me I still feel safer around females. however, I'm attracted to both sexes, I don't know if the abuse experienced has made me that way, i think it's just how i am, but I do know i'm more likely to be in a relationship with a female, as I can generally be around other women and feel more able to relax, to be myself, whereas with men it takes a long time for me to let my guard down (unless i'm drunk and in one of my risk-taking phases, that is, cause then all fear goes out the window. ) xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw2693 Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 I'm not sure if it can be a direct cause, maybe, but I think it can definitely influence it. I've been abused by both genders, but males a lot earlier in my life and have always identified as a lesbian, I don't know if its because of that, I guess I've never questioned it because I've never known anything different. Why do you think you will lose people if you tell them this hun? Hugs xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 this is interesting... i have often wondered the same. i came out as a lesbian when i was 17, then decided i was bi-sexual then a-sexual (where u like neither males or females). now i class as myself as what is called 'pan-sexual' - its the person rather than the gender interestingly, i recently heard of someone i knew as a child, a female. she is going through a sex change to become a man. when doctors did tests on her and stuff it came back that she a lot more male hormones than female, so she was indeed born into the wrong body. flip, go with what you feel happy with. man or woman. but i do know it is hard to think about this stuff, i remember 'coming out' when i was 17 and being terrified, going through all different ideas of how i was abnormal and stuff, i blamed the abuse but then got confused vuz i was abused by women as well :/ in the end, i have decided i dont care WHY , i just know im happy take care xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I think, I might be wrong here, although can't really be wrong about myself lol. I have always been straight, but always home for certain types...I sometimes wonder cos you apparently what you look for in a partner is what u see in ur dad, I might not be making sense here and I am on my phone, but.....argh I can't explain will come back to this tonight soz lol xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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