hummm_mabbe Posted October 27, 2011 Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 Hello Need to waffle ... I sort of just feel like I need to write this out. I struggle to process and understand my angry feelings, and usually feel scared of them and stuff them away, so I need to get these ones out from today's session because they are ones that have always come up in therapy. Ta for reading.... So, I think it was three main things: 1. I really hate it when he interrupts me when I am trying to put words to my feelings. It takes me forever to do it, and I feel like I need to talk until it 'clicks'. When he butts in I feel angry. Have had this with all my therapists I think. I try to hide that its made me feel angry, then feel scared that its obvious. Then I feel annoyed at myself for not getting openly annoyed. 2. I got angry today because he didn't have any appointments for the next three weeks. I expected that I was just a normal client / patient now and it would be regular. I tried to sort of negotiate, but felt like I was 'being pushy' and was worried he would get annoyed at me. Then I got pissed off at myself for that as well. 3. Sometimes I feel like he is enjoying it a bit too much, like maybe enjoying the position of authority or something. Again, a common one (last therapist I often felt she looked down on me) so may be an issue. Its difficult feeling this. I always feel like I am being a bad, 'spoilt' person for feeling this way, like for example I am being 'stuck up' to imagine he should have appointments for me. With the interruptions I sort of found myself talking over him today as well, over his interruption. I know he needs to talk too, otherwise there's no point being there. Nonetheless I feel angry. Its odd writing this - I feel like I need to defend him from my own accusations, like if anyone else says "that's wrong of him", I need to defend him from that. How weird ... I know some other folks in therapy find this stuff too. Difficult innit - feels like if you get agry they will shout at you or make you feel like a total bast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guntarded Posted October 27, 2011 Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 I had this with one psychologist. Made me feel insignificant when I was trying to find the words to feelings that I was finding difficult to express. He kept interrupting me, so I told him, please let me finish these sentences, it is important to let me finish as others have spent most of my life invalidating me, so in this room, in my therapy I will feel validated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted October 27, 2011 Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 Hi Hummm, i know what you mean about needing to get it down. Sounds like lots of things to work on, as, well , the relationship with him is central and key I suspect. cant you do say 4 appt booked at a time or come to a better arrnagement as unless you do you may always feel he is in control. xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted October 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 Hi Hummm, i know what you mean about needing to get it down. Sounds like lots of things to work on, as, well , the relationship with him is central and key I suspect. cant you do say 4 appt booked at a time or come to a better arrnagement as unless you do you may always feel he is in control. xxxxxx Hi there Yes thats a good point. I did book a couple this time out, but maybe it would be better to book a few in advance. I think I need to mention this stuff to him, I really can't go pretending it isn't there like I did with my last one Risky business innit :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted October 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 I had this with one psychologist. Made me feel insignificant when I was trying to find the words to feelings that I was finding difficult to express. He kept interrupting me, so I told him, please let me finish these sentences, it is important to let me finish as others have spent most of my life invalidating me, so in this room, in my therapy I will feel validated Hi Gun Yep pretty much that I think. I need to find the words to say that out loud I guess. Also, my status said FLU-FEH BUN-NEH, in case you thought I had gone looney ..... :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlylight1 Posted October 27, 2011 Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 hi, i find number 3 particularly horrible when it happens in situations. i never know whether i can trust my judgement as to whether its really happening or if i'm a bit para or am somehow 'expecting' to see it in a way. but i know i never got that feeling with the group therapy leaders who were really nice so it makes me think its right to trust our instincts sometimes and maybe broach the subject if its appropriate to. best wishes x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted October 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 hi, i find number 3 particularly horrible when it happens in situations. i never know whether i can trust my judgement as to whether its really happening or if i'm a bit para or am somehow 'expecting' to see it in a way. but i know i never got that feeling with the group therapy leaders who were really nice so it makes me think its right to trust our instincts sometimes and maybe broach the subject if its appropriate to. best wishes x Hi vivien I think that is the one I feel least able to mention, as you say it feels kind of para doesn't it. Sort of almost don't want to acknowledge that I feel that way, like I wanna ignore it! **Le sigh** Thing is, I ALWAYS have had some hang-up or other about my therapists, all bar one, so it does make me wonder if its something inside of me. Will have to have a few more sessions, see how I feel perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted October 27, 2011 Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 Its all bloody scary, my T says I will get angry with him and thats part of the therapy, well so far I am in awe but beginning to get irritated, I find it all very confusing really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlylight1 Posted October 27, 2011 Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 it really is a hard thing to mention!especially as its one of those things that someone can so easily deny even if they are actually doing it or maybe don't realise they are. but i think a good therapist should take your feelings into consideration. maybe in a few weeks you will feel a bit more comfortable to say something, if the feeling persists that is x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starryeyesee Posted October 27, 2011 Report Share Posted October 27, 2011 Hi Ross I had a similar conflict with my T where one week she said that if I really wanted to work I should dress more feminine. The next week I turned up with unwashed hair because I had run out of shampoo. I sat in the waiting room just wanting to leave because I felt dirty. When she did get to see me I explained that I had wanted to leave and after a chat about why I felt like that she said she was not there to judge me which is exactly how I felt. Therapists have so much power in their words I don't think they realise sometimes. Therapy is the hardest part of my week and even after three years it is the most stressful 20 minutes of my week to the point where I'm wondering if I really want to continue. sorry you're having a hard time too xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted October 28, 2011 Report Share Posted October 28, 2011 ((((Ross)))) xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted October 28, 2011 Report Share Posted October 28, 2011 Hello Ross, 1. I have had to say wait, you need to let me finish this, this is is what happened the last time with my P-doc. It does work, but it is extremely frustrating and I can get derailed in the anger in a snap and immediately start simmering. I notice when I really want a complicated relationship to be understood, I will give the multi-point story. It takes a long time but I it helps me to try and recount the interaction as honestly as possible, so I don't leave out (deny) the undesirable parts. 3. Your comment on this one make me think, you are with a new T. Pull out the hoops get jumping. I think testing the T is very normal, setting up boundaries and trust, and getting a feel for how well its going to work. Looking for flaws, silently picking out their weaknesses. This part of therapy makes excellent "off topic" material. Not saying that as a positive (just can see how I have done it before). When it comes to times where I feel way too vulnerable, its awkward etc.... I find I can be irritated about my T to myself silently and not have to feel my strong feelings quite so strongly. Because, now I am busy being annoyed with T. Or it might make me feel more in control of my own vulnerability.... just some thoughts. Sometimes my P-doc will let me rant like a maniac and when I am done and it is obvious there is no resolution, logic or point to my tirade, I laugh and he actually laughs with me. I usually make a joke about who is really in the drivers seat around here and tell him to do his part of the job. The laughter is how I know he does care about me getting it out, he is glad I feel better for getting it off my chest, and he is strong enough to deal with me. I hope your next session goes better, in fact I hope my next session goes better too. xoxo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I think those things would make me angry too. I think sometimes people interrupt you when they see its hard and they are trying to rescue you but sometimes the only way of being rescued is if you get the words out. It is always frustrating not being heard, you dont want it happening in therapy too. I think you should mention this to him if/when you feel able to, he might be happy to stop doing the things that make it more difficult for you when i have done therapy i think I have always have a regular time and i have gone at the same time every week/fortnight/month. So I dont think it was unreasonable for you to expect that because in my experience thats how it is. The last one might be more your self esteem than if he's really enjoying it tho if therapists really love their job they probably do get some enjoyment from it. But if it does continue to bother you it does sound like something thats worth talking about. Its always going to be hard talking to someone if you feel they are enjoying what your saying too much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.