catsmother21 Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 I am having huge problems with my pdoc atm and have been doing for the last year in that she is not listening to me when I tell her that my anti-ds are not working and I want to try something else. I have been on citalopram for at least 5 years and for 4 of those years I was on 40-60mg depending on how bad I was at the time. In all that time I had severe sleep problems and most nights would only get 1-2 hours. I can remember one night I only slept for 10 mins and when I woke up and realised that that was all the time I had slept for I sobbed and sobbed and SH-ed. I told my pdoc about all of this every time I went to see her which was every 6 weeks and not once did she mentioned that citalopram can cause trouble with sleep. Then about a year ago, I was sick of being on 60mg and with my pdoc's permission reduced it to 40mg but that didn't really help and I reduced it to 20mg (without her permission) and hey presto my sleep came back. I still have trouble the odd night or maybe a couple of nights but nothing compared to what it was like before. I told my pdoc about reducing it to 20mg which she wasn't happy about and says that she wants me back on 60mg but knows that she cannot force me to do that - well not without sectioning me and injecting me every day!! Every time I have seen her this year, I have told her that my sleep is better but 20mg is not enough to hold off the depression which she knows because I took 150 tramadol in March this year due to a huge drop in mood and have told her every time I've seen her how much worse the depression is. However, she tells me that this thing that I have with citalopram about it affecting my sleep is all in my head - bollocks!! I have suggested changing my anti-d altogether or adding another anti-d to take at night or going back to 40mg of citalopram and having something to help me sleep as well. She will not entertain any of these ideas and after suffering so badly with the depression recently and knowing just how close I have come to suicide, I think it is time to put my foot down. 60mg of citalopram is not the answer because I don't sleep and that causes depression in me as well with no energy or desire to do anything. My CPN is coming round tomorrow and I am going to ask her to get an emergency appt with my pdoc which I don't think will happen but if it does my hubby is coming with me because he is really pissed off with my pdoc and he can tell her how he has seen all of this affect me. If I don't get an emergency appt, my hubby will come with me to my next scheduled appt in Dec and if by the end of the appt we haven't got anywhere, I will tell her that I will have an advocate with me the next time I see her. I refuse to be treated like an idiot and be told that it is all in my head. So, what I'm getting to here is - has anyone else used an advocacy service to help them with the pdoc meetings and what are they called and how did they get on with them ie did they help and did it affect your relationship with your pdoc ie were they any different with you after you involved an advocate? It makes me feel really sad that she won't listen to me and take my word for what is happening to me and that I have to get someone else involved to get her to listen to me! Any information would be fantastic thanks - from a very angry, upset, depressed and frustrated Cats :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 i've never used an advocate (although i have heard good things from mind advocates when i used to volunteer with them) but i have had sleep problems with citalopram - in fact according to my doctor, it is well known side effect and she had no problem prescribing me a low dose of a tca for its sedative property. to double confirm the sleep problems, when i went to the pharmacist to get my script filled, the doctor hadnt said when i should take the med and she advised that i took it in the morning cos it has a tendency to affect sleep... eventually i got fed up with having to take 2 meds, and begged my doctor prescribed just the tca, which she eventually did. this may not be an option in your case cos of the od, (they are worse for fatalities in od and so docs dont like to prescribe them to people with od history) but there are probably other ads out there you could try instead of the cital, and i think that your doctor is quite simply being an arse for not helping you with this nasty side effect, cos we all knwo how important sleep is with mh problems... so bottom line hun, it is NOT in your head, that indeed is complete bollocks... hope you get the help with this that you need... and i am sorry that you are suffering with both sleep and also not being heard... much love and snuggles as always xxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 THANK YOU SO MUCH for the validation and support. Even though I know it's not in my head - if I'm told something often enough I do really start to doubt myself. Even when I know I am absolutely right about something all it takes is for someone to say to me - are you sure? and bam I start to doubt myself. I will google MIND and see what information there is about their advocacy service. I can't thank you enough for being such a good friend. Love and hugs to you too my lovely xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 i know what you mean about doubting what you know is right - i get that too i guess years of being told we are wrong has that effect longterm... anyhow... i just remembered that rethink also have advocacy service... so if your mind doesnt have one, or if they are rubbish - cos services differ between branches, you could always try them instead... good luck with it... u need and deserve to be heard in all this... xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted October 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Thank you will add Rethink to the list as well xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hi there, I've never used an advocacy but I hear they work wonders for people and I'm sure they will for you. It sounds like you have a pretty good case for discussion and change in meds. I'm surprised that they have not suggested a sleeping tablet or alternative antei-depressant, sounds like your pdoc is pretty stubborn and thinks they know you better than you know yourself which is quite often (in my experiences) not the case for a long long time or very rarely at all. Mostly pdos just are scriptwriters and don't see the big picture. Hope it all changes x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hi Cats, I'm sorry you are in this situation. You have mentioned it on here before, and i really don't know why your pdoc is being so unyielding when this is causing you so much tiredness & unnecessary emotions (like frustration, anger, the whole gamut) . Of course i am not a pdoc, lol, but she seems very inflexible. Its allright that she goes home & sleeps at night. Esp with the M.E. you need a good nights rest. Not being able to get a good nights sleep would wear anyone down. I don't know but are you in a position to get a 2nd opinion? There are other meds like Villan says , which work well for helping to sleep. Totally agree with roses on a lot of pdocs being 'scriptwriters'. At least we all have each other as sounding boards & support. xx am P.s. hope you can get a good advocate if t comes to that . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myla Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Cats, I'm so glad you thought of advocacy. It hadn't even occurred to me even though I have used one. It's definitely worth a try and hopefully with someone on your side (if you want I believe they can attend appointments with you) you might get pdoc to shift. I just don't get why she's being sooooo stubborn. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 Roses - thanks for your reply and support sweets. It makes me feel so much better that you agree with me and that this isn't all in my head. Kitteh - thank you and you're quite right, I bet she has no problems sleeping at night! There is some good news though and that is that I don't have ME (posted about it somewhere) but post viral fatigue so I will recover at some point but it is taking me longer than a lot of people due to MH issues and thankfully won't have to deal with it for the rest of my life but even so I am still suffering with fatigue and you're right - I do need to be able to sleep properly. Myla - I don't know why she is being so stubborn either - my hubby has just said to me that what she is doing to me is pure cruelty. I am wondering if it's because I reduced down from 40mg to 20mg without her permission and so her 'professional pride' has taken a knock because I've stood up for myself and it makes me wonder if somewhere in the back of her head she's thinking - well she won't comply with what I'm telling her, so I won't help her. Arrgh I don't know. Thanks everyone for your support, I feel like you've all given me some more confidence to see this through xx PS - ran out of likes but will come back :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 I have sent an email to MIND about this but there are no services for Rethink in Leeds. So here's hoping that MIND can help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 I've just found another one called Leeds Advocacy and have emailed them as well - it feels so good to be doing something pro-active :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 I saw my CPN yesterday and asked her to speak to my pdoc about my medication and to ask her for an emergency appt which she said she will do but she didn't seem too positive about this happening but she is going to ask her and get back to me and then we put that to one side and carried on with the rest of what I needed to talk to her about. I did feel better after she'd gone - she helped me a lot yesterday. One of the advocacy services that I contacted yesterday said that they couldn't help me because they only deal with people who have MH issues and a learning disability - my own fault really, I mis-read what was on their website I thought it was MH issues or a learning disability - so that one is a no-hoper. I emailed MIND but haven't heard anything back from them yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow girl Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 Hi there. Your pdoc sounds a bit of a nightmare. There are so many anti d's out there you could try. Anyway, when you go and see her with hubby (very good plan), is it worth printing off some of the info that specifically mentions the sleep side effect. She can hardly say its all in your head if its there in print from a legitimate source. Hope you here from Mind soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crystalfairy Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 Hi Cats, Just to let you know I use an Advocacy service and they have been invaluable to me, my Advocate accompanies me to meetings and out-patients appointments with the Pdoc. It hasn't effected my relationship with the Pdoc at all, but I guess each Pdoc is different. I found my Advocate via the information leaflet I was given when first hospitalised. I hope this helps and you manage to get things sorted out. It sounds horrendous for you at the moment. Best Wishes, Crystal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 is it worth printing off some of the info that specifically mentions the sleep side effect. She can hardly say its all in your head if its there in print from a legitimate source. Brilliant idea - I hadn't thought of doing that - thanks Shadow Girl xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 Thanks Crystal Fairy it is good to know that they are helpful The lady from Leeds Advocacy who only deal with MH and a learning disability has emailed me this afternoon and recommended somewhere else for my to try. Although she cannot help me she has been really helpful and I still haven't heard anything from MIND . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 i hope the new place is helpful. Leeds Advocacy sounds really good, lots of people would just ignore anyone they couldnt help which is totally wrong but it does happen I've never really found mind helpful but maybe they are finding out lots of information for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 http://www.afmh.org.uk/ Maybe this is good? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Thanks Emma I hope they are getting loads of info together for me as well. xx Thanks Lily, unfortunately, they only deal with people in Kensington and Chelsea and at the first private hospital the Capio Nightingale Hospital that I went into when I lived in London. It doesn't look they have anything in Leeds but thank you so much for taking the time to look for me xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Still heard nothing from MIND so not very impressed with them!! However, I have contacted the other advocacy service that Leeds Advocacy recommended to me and they have taken all my details and have confirmed that they will be able to attend my next pdoc appt with me on 7 Dec and in the meantime they are putting me on the community waiting list for a home visit so that we can talk through things some more. They are very busy but she said that she will flag it up that my next appt is on 7 Dec and so hopefully will be able to come and see me before then. I don't know why but I just feel like I want to sit and cry - why should it have to come to this? Why can't my pdoc listen to me and take on board what I am saying - it's almost as if she thinks I'm making it up and lying and I am not in the business of making things up or lying to people. :crying_anim02: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starryeyesee Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 ((((((catsmother)))) I'm glad you've found someone to help you, it's awful that your pdoc won't listen to you but now she will have to. There are many anti-d's out there so I hope she gives you something that works better. thinking of you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 I'm really glad the other advicacy got back to you, that was really quick and it sounds really good its not your fault this has happened, you have been honest with her and tried everything you could to convince her of the problems you are having. she is probably used to dealing with people who don't have a completely realistic view of how things are for them but you and lots of other people with mh problems are very capable of seeing things as they are and it isnt your fault if she can't see that. It is upsetting tho, it is horrible not being believed, really hurtful. hopefully you will feel stronger with the advocate supporting you and your pdoc will see how strongly you feel about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 Thanks Starry and Emma xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 This is just how I feel about my psychiatrist at the moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2011 Not feeling any better - just been retreating to the safety of my duvet and I haven't heard anything back from my CPN/pdoc about an emergency appt - obviously not important enough or she just doesn't bloody care so I'm assuming I will have to wait until Dec!! Tis all BOLLOCKS!! :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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