A Little Anxious Today

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I am really wound up today, its a struggle to concentrate on my university work. I think these could be the causes:

1. I am upset about last night. I had a row with my wife and because I didn't like what she said to me I refused to speak to her for ages, a childish way of punishing her. Then I had around 5 cans of lager. I am still angry at her but I dealt with it in a very immature way.

2. My morning's work was interrupted by 5 telephone calls...and a visit from the meter reader! I thought being alone in the house I'd have plenty of peace, how wrong was I !

I am financially dependent on my father at the moment, a situation which I'm not happy with but thats the way it is. He is going to pay me via a standing order but the bank has rejected it. I've gotta get that sorted. My wife hates the current situation, but I've not much choice... jobs are really hard to get and if I work I won't finish my PhD by the deadline.

My mother-in-law wants us to come around on Saturday and realistically I think we have to go. They want us to go to a fireworks thing. They are nice people and financially generous also. I sometimes find them uncomfortable though.

My mum rang fussing about my daughter (see below).

My wife had to take a taxi home from Tesco because I am pissed off with interruptions. As I am writing this, the fucking phone is ringing again...

3. My daughter is away from home for the first time. She is 10 years old; and on a school trip. They went to the welsh coast which is 75 miles away. She is coming back, I have to pick her up from the train station in an hour ... yet another interruption to my day. But I hope she is ok.

4. My supervisor has me going around in circles. I handed in a section of my thesis to my supervisor... around 3400 words. We had a meeting about it and she wants it totally rearranged. I've got to use pseudocode rather than prose to explain my algorithms (computer science speak there). She said it would take me about a day to do... I've spent a day on it already and I'm stuck and only part way through, I'm emailing her for help.

I'm not stuck as in can't do it... I'm stuck as in I don't know if what I've done is the way she wants it done. The problem is she is very picky about writing, and she is a micro-manager. Its good to have high standards but the clock is ticking... I've got a lot of work to do and less than a year now to complete it. Theres nothing i can do though, she is my one and only supervisor.

5. I am drinking every night. The last two nights i've had around 2 litres of Stella Artois @ 5%. I am very good at giving up alcohol, I've lots of practice because I've done it 1000 times in my life!

[lonelyheartemma]

that sounds like lots of reasons to be stressed, it sounds really hard. I don't think refusing to speak to someone you are angry with is always childish, its always good to avoid another argument especialy when your emotions are running so high.

have you tried taking the phone off the hook/ignoring it? if its that important people will usually call you back. if you were studying at uni all day in classrooms i'm sure you wouldnt have your mobile switched on, i don't think its bad to have study time when you are at home where you don't deal with phone calls

will your supervisor be marking your work or will it be something else? if not maybe putting it into pseudocode isnt really the priority, maybe its more important to focus on getting to the end of it and then when you've finished you can go back and redo the prose as pseudocode?

is there any way you could limit the amount of alcohol in the house?

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i think part of the solution, Emma, might be to just let it go to answerphone. If I ensure my mobile is charged they can ring that if its urgent.

I have to go now to pick up my daughter from the station.