Katherine Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 (((((((supportiveencouraginghugsfrommetome))))))))) lots of compassionate caring containing understanding from me to me too.... I am doing well. I am doing well. I am doing well. I am doing well. I am doing well. I need to give myself this validation and support. I am also surprised and pleased that I am controlling myself. Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swan Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Well done I think that you are not the only person here right now who is feeling some distress. ((((((((((((((((Katie))))))))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 (((((((Swan))))))) ((((((((everyone)))))))) We can do it.... Not sure how I am, but I am...... It is not easy but somehow there is a safe containing place inside of me that is helping me... Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 Yay well done!! So am I. my husband is away in London all week, and I hate being away from him so much that I went up to London yesterday with him, just so I could be with him one more night. I then had to get the underground, then the train back, then two buses back to my house in Bristol....All because I didn't want to be alone. so anyway, Now I am alone and I am trying not to 'weird out'....... But I am managing fine. So hooooooray for us! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 ((((Katie))))) ((((Claire)))) As they used to say in my outpatient program, the hugs that you give yourself are the most important ones, because they are the only ones you can depend on. Good for you guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 :) :) :) *cheerleadingsmileys* Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 hey, Claire, try scrolling the screen quickly and look at the 2 blinky smileys on our posts... just made me when I did that Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 hee hee!! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 :) it worked for you then!!!! (((((((we can all manage it hugs hugs hugs))))))) Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 27, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 (((((((((I am proud of myself.))))))))) Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 I am also *accepting that this is a victory for me aabout me, has nothing to do with anyone else. Its about taking responsibility for me in the light of my own past behaviour. *understanding and hearing people's feelings. Because I am 'protecting myself' I am not getting much involved in the discussions. *not punishing myself for my recent actions, particularly over the weekend. That was a genuine crisis, which has now passed. At the time -and on other occasions - I got what I needed, and now is different, now is now and I have moved on.(re my thread in Therapist forum). *accepting that I wouldn't be able to accomplish this element of my recovery now unless I had been through what I'd been through at the weekend. *seeing how my progress relates to maturational developmental stages in early childhood that I need to work through---and its great that external circumstances coordinate! Containment and self regulation is brill!!!!! My Adult/Parent is taking good care of my Baby/Child. Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CathE Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 cool Katie I wanna catch up to u now. Cath. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swan Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 :) Katie Well done, Good for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 Another big hug for Katie! ((((((((((Katie)))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 Thank you. Hey Cath, no 'race' hey..... This is just one bit of my many facted disorganised personality. The key seems to be in how I'm starting to integrate that 'abandoned/neglected/rejected child' in me. I feel her presence very intensely, she needs hugs practically all the time, lots of reassurance and encouragement and acceptance and validation. And I appreciate your support, folks Katie Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 I am aware of a 'voice' in me that says I should ask if my behaviour has been inappropriate..etc....that I should ASK for punishment. NO WAY Not going there.....I'm NOT going there, I am NOT.... It feels insecure, yes, to concentrate on my good points...."when will it crumble?" "When will someone come and say, 'Uh, no Katie, sorry, but you have no right to think this, you are an acting out girl.'?" Especially there is some anxiety about those who HAVEN'T responded to this, maybe they disagree???? I AM GOING TO STAY STRONG AND CLEAR> Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 (((((Katie))))) It's okay. We're here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 Thanks Bry, as usual its an 'authority' thing....I'm ok, just watching my mind and trying to keep safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 I understand. You and I are very similar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 It feels good to be understood...thank you....I am feeling a little lonely with this just now. Not a major thing, subtle, but there, and understanding really helps.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CathE Posted June 29, 2005 Report Share Posted June 29, 2005 Katie, I'm imagining an actual 'race' for the 'emotionally challenged' where we're all tripping over our own feet, falling down, running in the wrong direction, sabotaging our own efforts or sitting on the track throwing a tantrum. Funny visual image. How bout u and I just agree to keep putting one foot in front of the other? Then we're both winners! Cath. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 29, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2005 :) feel a bit 'crap' about this this morning----like asserting myself makes me an outsider---again---so thanx for making me smile a little.... Am I managing or hiding the feelings, not sure? The T has a similar training to my T, and I have never been able to 'relate'/communicate with a man in a such trusting way. So the freer interactions gave me hope where I felt safe. So I DO feel some sadness, anger, grief, pain. But somehow self containment is still present. Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddypotty Posted June 29, 2005 Report Share Posted June 29, 2005 Hey just saying hello,sending good thoughts to you. Patricia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted June 29, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2005 Thanks Patricia, that means a lot, tells me I haven't alienated everyone, at least... Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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