How To Get Out Of The 'spiralling Thoughts'

[OrangeLamp]

Well as I'm in one right now, I thought...what do you do to break out of that horrible spiral you get into when you're triggered in some way?

I don't know what's happened to me today, I've been fine for days and today I'm just...irritated! Very odd I'm totally aware of it and have to make sure I don't make decisions in this mindset.

So! This thread I thought would be nice for everyone to contribute to and learn from eachother, hopefully it's in the right place.

I'm talking about breaking the negative train of thought and coming back to reality, how do you do it?

[OrangeLamp]

And I'm just interested in peoples personal experiences, maybe things we could all consider and try etc. Not just for me personally

[Lily-Bee]

My tips;accept that youre feeling this way right now fighting it will just frustrate at the same time do things to help yourself like talk it through with someone,find a good distracktion,do something soothing.

[Villan]

Sorry things are tough for you just now... but good on you for coming here and posting, that's a great start to helping yuorself get through it !

Acceptance is a toughie, and a neat trick once mastered, but distraction can help loads in the mean time...

i find basic things work best for me to distract from cycling thoughts

Walker's now famous find of online jigsaws http://www.jigidi.com/ is a godsend to me

Also in my head, numbers kill words so I do stuff like Sudoku - especially helpful at night if sleep evades I find

If it is something you can "write or draw out of your head" that can help too

Snuggle up with a cat / dog / stuffed toy etc on a sofa/bed under a snuggly bankie and watch a feel good movie

Other than that, anything that you can find to refocus on, cos as Lily says, fighting them dont really work so good!

Maybe when you are feeling better, yuo can list some of the stuff and have it somewhere to hand so you can look at it when you get in a pickle, cos if yuo are like me, once it starts then you tend to forget all the helpful stuff that worked last time! Maybe make yourself a self-soothe box and fill it with photos and stuff that helps you feel better. I have one of them

Hope some of this helps, even if it is just the knowledge that someone cares enough to reply xxx

[OrangeLamp]

My usual things that help are:

Watch something on tv that I can get engrossed in

Play a game quietly, something relaxing like minecraft or skyrim

Ask a friend if they want to go do something

Sleep!

Origami

Cooking, though its hard to motivate enough for that!

That's what I usually try and aim for

Interested to hear others' thoughts

[Lily-Bee]

Ahh things I like;

Cooking something

A warm shower

Movies

tv

chat with a friend

coming here and trying to help others

a good book

taking pics of cat or something and posting on facebook

window shopping online

ordering stuff in my cupboard

editing pics online,adding text etc or making lil movies with windows moviemaker

giving myself a facial

thinking of something nice to do for someone

hot chocolate!

doing my nails

watching fave videos at youtube

answering emails

[Myla]

Distraction for me too. But at some point I have to sleep and when I stop distracting that's when it hits worse.

[carlylight1]

really good idea for a thread. i think all the distractions which sometimes work for me have already been mentioned.

also i'm trying to remember to use the times when i do feel a little better to work out how i can avoid feeling so bad again-easier said than done tho.

[Sparko]

I love the idea of a self sooth box, I will be trying this :-)

Listening to loud music I find helps when feeling irritated

[catsmother21]

Cross-stitch works for me (most of the time).

[carlylight1]

just remembered sometimes i write all the thoughts in my head out non stop, usually feel a bit calmer after doing that.

[Roses]

This is a great thread and my son is totally addicted to minecraft Orange!!! Distraction is a great way and just taking every minute/hour as it comes. The acceptance thing is hard like Villan said but once mastered it's helpful. xxx

[hummm_mabbe]

Hi there

If I can pick up on what others said about acceptance - I have been practicing with this for quite some time and have found a few ways that help.

The biggest breakthrough for me came when I learned about body focusing. When we are caught in a spiral, the experience is like we are our thoughts. We are caught inside this kind of envelope where pain, thoughts, and our responses all blur into one. It is just an overall unpleasant state we get lost in.

Something I learned in meditation is that our experiences can be broken down into separate parts, such as thoughts (images, such as snippets of past events, 'hearing' people speaking or hearing ourselves speaking and so on) and the way our bodies respond to those thoughts (or even to the events around us). Usually, it is very difficult to see that our bodies are reacting TO these things, and instead the unpleasant sensations that come up in the body kind of become 'one' with the experience, sort of like watching a scary part of a movie. For example, when watching that famous shower scene in Psycho, we don't really listen separately to the stabbing violin sound, then separately look at the knife going back and forth. The whole experience becomes one - the fear, the image of the knife, the noise, our recoiling or hiding our eyes. If we choose to pay attention to only one aspect of it however, such as the sound, the experience becomes different. So maybe we listen to the violins, or we look at the decor in the bathroom, or focus on the woman's eyebrow. Its a very different experience to watching the whole thing. There is a sense of space about it all, a certain detachment, even though the experience is all still there.

With meditation or mindfulness, something you can do is learn to pay specific attention to one aspect of experience, rather than getting caught in the whole 'ensemble' of image, sound and sensation. For example, if you have an argument with someone, you may find that the conversation replays over and over for you. You may see images of the person's face in your mind's eye, and hear one line that you or they said. Those are the thoughts. At the same time, your stomach may knot, or you may feel a cold sensation in your lungs. You might feel anger as a hot or tight feeling in your shoulders or chest, or a powerful fear in your stomach. These are the sensations that form in reaction to the thoughts. They are separate, but feel like 'one'.

In this situation, what you might do is recognise the components of it all. You cannot stop the thoughts or feelings, as they arise on their own, but you can choose to home in on one aspect. The area I find most helpful is the actual sensations - the cold sensation in my heart, the tension in my body, and to pay close attention to it. You actually look very closely at it, like it is a separate thing. You notice how it rises up when the thought comes. Let it do that. Try not to get involved in planning what to do, what to say or what you wish you had said, but just look closely at what arises on its own. By paying this attention to sensation, you are by default accepting it. You have actually turned towards the sensation, rather than getting lost, trying to escape or fighting it. Doing this provides a sense of space around it all, even though discomfort is still present.

[slj]

The first step to making a breakthrough in thought process is:

acknowledging there has been a change.

For me, my usual saying is 'I am going on one! or I'm stuck!'

This is when things begin to change, feeling towards others, more irritated at little things, -ve thoughts etc.

At the moment I feel like I am stuck and trying to find a middle point where I can be even to refocus.

I tend to look for things around me that 'ground' me.

Sometimes just a phonecall to someone else can help break me back into reality.

Things come to pass...

These spiralling thoughts do to

keep your mind set on the reality that it is part of a BPD life.

...it is how we deal with it that matters.

To ignor your feelings can send you to the bottom of the spiral and you become stuck...

to embrace the feeling and try to work it all out can send you flying up and out of control.

Just whirl around the the middle for a bit...

Whilst in there do daily things to keep you going,

(such as those things mentioned in the other posts above)

[OrangeLamp]

When I feel like crap again, I think I will make myself come here and try at least one new thing that you guys have suggested

[Myla]

When I feel like crap again, I think I will make myself come here and try at least one new thing that you guys have suggested

Ah, pleased you said "when I feel crap again". Glad you're feeling better :)

[OrangeLamp]

haha! Yeahhhh iit does feel a bit inevitable!

[becboo123]

Heya, my name is Becky don't know if I'm in the right section or not but just really scared at the moment. I recently got made redundant so I am not working and just stuck at home all the time. I have been off with depression before and that lasted about 4 months. At the moment I feel trapped because I can't seem to control my thoughts and they are spiraling out of control. In the past I would have like OCD thoughts all the time that would constantly distract me and they could be the most random, weird thoughts you could think of or something upsetting or inappropriate just constantly wirling over and over and this would mean that I couldn't concentrate on anything. It would also be associated with a horrid pain in my left eye and side of head like neuralgia that would last for months even after sleeping. Sleeping would help but then it would come back the next day. When I was off with depression I was convinced I had cancer or something and that it would never go. I went on anti depressants and took up running as well which helped and eventually it just all went and I had my normal mind back again. Now I seem to have gotten so much worse than I have ever felt before and am convinced that I have actually lost my mind. I keep breaking down crying all the time and my head just doesn't feel right. Instead of the pain it feels as if something is wrong with my brain, as if it has been damaged in some way. I can't seem to concentrate on anything, not even the TV. I can't even bare to eat anything. My tongue keeps doing this weird cramping thing and I am always shaking. I can't even feel anything. I feel like I am trapped in this horrible nightmare and I have almost lost touch with reality. I am stuck in my room all the time because I can't bare to go out feeling like this. I can't even bare to have a shower. I keep thinking that I have got schizophrenia or something and keep going on google and searching out different disorders. All I ever seem to want to do is sleep. Last night I was so scared and was shaking in bed and the sweat was pouring off me. The only time I feel remotely better is first thing in the morning but then it comes rushing back again. It is like on the outside I can seem like a normal person but on the inside I just feel so crazy at the moment. I am really worried because it feels like something has taken control of my mind and I just want my old mind back. I feel lost in darkness and am scared and don't want to end up in a mental home, I feel like my life is over at the moment. In the past the OCD thoughts and associated eye and face pain would only last a few days or a week or even a second and I would be able to bat it off and just be normal again. In the past also I had this weird thing with my breathing where I just couldn't stop breathing really heavy and harshly and my throat and chest would hurt so much but that would only last for a week at most. Recently, I told my family about all of this after I got drunk and spoke about suicide to one of my friends. After this, I went to the doctors and am on 100mg of sertaline. Ever since I told them I have just gotten worse and am wondering if it could be the medication also. All of this started again when I went out and got a raffle ticket and it had a number on it which I always associate with something really bad happening because I had a dream once and it was this number shining at me and I woke up screaming. Now I keep thinking of this number meaning this condition and that I have to have it because it is the third time it has happened and also the number at the end is symbolising how many months I have to think about this. I just feel as if something has taken total control over me and also thinking that I have something wrong with my brain like something has gone seriously wrong with it. The other night I was with my dad and I was clutching my head because I was in so much pain I thought I was going to faint or die or something. And now I am more worried because now it feels like it is stuck in my nerves and my tongue keeps cramping up.

Just want to feel normal again and I want my life back to be honest. I don't want to live my life like this. I feel like I am stuck in a dark well screaming for someone to help me. I don't always feel like this it seems to come and go in bouts. For example, it started in Jan 2010 and lasted until June 2010 I think with the constant headache and went after I had a panic attack. It started after having a pretty upsetting experience with a girl that I was seeing. It came back Jan 2011 and went around May 2011 after having problems at work and also after having another upsetting experience with someone else I went out with who is related to the first person. Now it has come back again and seems to have manifested itself where I can't even function as a human being. I just feel really weak at the moment. I can only describe it as not having a calm state of mind and obsessional words or thoughts coming in that could be any random word or thought and them being associated with a song or a sound. Or when I am talking to someone being totally distracted. And this voice inside saying that I have to be this way. Or maybe I think that there is something totally wrong with my brain so that is why this happening. In the past I would be embaressed talking about this but I have lost all sense of embaressment. Maybe it has gotten worse now because it is at the forefront of my mind instead of the back like it used to be. At least before I could do things. At the moment I am just stuck in my room feeling hopeless.

(SORRY IT IS SO LONG) Need some help

[nathanj]

ok becky. now take a breath. there are some very knowledgable people here and when they find this post you will find them very empathetic and supportive.now the thing with your tongue could be a side effect of your meds. it could be that it will settle or you might need something to counteract it .you dont mention what kind of team you have in place( gp cpn shrink) or how long this episode has been going on but it would be worth mentioning it to them. i had meds once which made me clench and unclench my jaw constantly my nurse noticed that i was doing it and got me a script to ease it. i thought i had developed a nervous tick that wouldnt go away. but it did. it takes awhile to get the right meds. i know what its like to have spiraling thoughts and found thet expressing them could sometimes break the spell. do you have anyone you trust with listening. dont know if i should talk to you about my diagnosis because i dont want to feed your paranoia but i have had bouts of depression and anxiety for a couple of decades and each time i am reminded that i have been there before and it will pass in time.i can never believe it at the time and it scares the living crap out of me. but i am here today. and i am doing ok.hang in there. hope you feel better soon

[Dibley]

I think it's so positive and so good that you all can do little things to make you feel better, unfortunately for me, the only thing I can do is self harm to feel better, anything else is just pointless to me. I wish that maybe a few years down the line, I'll be able to do thing like this and be ok.