CrippleAndStarfish Posted January 7, 2012 Report Share Posted January 7, 2012 When i eat properly, and take the time to prepare even a half-decent meal for myself, i feel guilty. I don't know why. =/ Part of me wants to just chuck the food in the bin. Feel that would be better than eating it myself. Don't understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unlucky Posted January 7, 2012 Report Share Posted January 7, 2012 Have you got a history of anorexia? That is one of the symptoms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted January 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2012 yeah hon. Well, official dx is EDNOS as tend to jump between restricting, and binging and purging. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 8, 2012 Report Share Posted January 8, 2012 ((((Suzy)))) So sorry you feel this way. I do too. Even though the anorexic and bulimic symptoms for me are much better these days (in fact I need to lose 10 lb now as inactive with all the breaks last year) I still get the guilt thing. I constantly think about how big I look and what I eat in the day and how many calories every thing is. I count it, berate myself when I'm bad and the overwhelming guilt is horrible and almost unbearable at times. I feel disgusted with myself and can feel the fat hanging off my face and tummy etc... on bad days. It's horrible. I also have body dysmorphia and it's so hard. My heart goes out to you friend xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellaboo Posted January 9, 2012 Report Share Posted January 9, 2012 i feel the same snoozysuzy, its really hard constant battle which sometimes i dont win and when i do i suddenly feel awful and huge like right now, i hope ya csan find the help to make you feel differently bout it all. much luv x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted January 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2012 Thanks lovelies. I just realised that, although i know i have extremely disordered eating at times, there has to be something going on underneath that drives it, that causes it i guess.... But it was always the anxiety that was at the front, most obvious, until recently. The anxiety over eating now isn't so bad. Still there, but not so bad. I CAN actually eat now, and sometimes i can enjoy it. Recently, most of the time i've enjoyed it. I guess has been of a blip with it over the past week, as mood has been all over the place and i've noticed that i'm not so bad actually eating to start with, but then maybe half way through i feel terribly guilty for it. I think this is something i need to bring up with a T when i get to see one. I know it's not always necessary, but for me with most things, i need to understand how and why before i can change it. Lots of love, and thanks again for replying. xxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 9, 2012 Report Share Posted January 9, 2012 I'm glad you are sounding more positive hun, lots of love xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellaboo Posted January 10, 2012 Report Share Posted January 10, 2012 we sound like we are in a similiar place at the moment, its funny how it shifts from different levels or states sometimes without you noticing, i wish you all the best pm me if ya need xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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