steve_uk Posted January 14, 2012 Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 Hi again guys, Youve all been great to me over the past few days, so thanks for that. This one is to those of you who have been officialy diagnosed with some sort of 'mental' disorder. Do you often get normal days when you feel as though nothing is wrong at all? Like you've made it all up and there is no reason to see a GP or a specialist? Ive been going through some pretty long periods of ups and downs (see my other thread 'please give me your diagnosis') but the past few days I have felt 'normal'... Like I've made it all up and there is nothing wrong with me. Like I've been seeking attention. But then I think, hold on, remember what happened the other day, how you felt, what you did etc etc. Sometimes I argue with myself (in my head) I tell myself to just shut up, grow up, act normal. There must be a reason for me to tell myself to 'stop it' had there not? See, Im feeling hyper now and I'm rambling! Are you confused? because I am :confused02: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILostHer Posted January 14, 2012 Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 I'm not confused and my answer is absolutley yes. I have many days like that. Even if I only feel 'good' for ten minutes, I think I am a fraud. I think you will get lot's of replies from people that feel exactly the same. Lot's of people have asked the same question and have the same worry/fear. My niece had cancer, no one realised, she had pains and was underweight, but no one could find out why. She got quite ill eventually and that's when they discovered it in emergency surgery for another issue. They said by the size of the growths that she must have had it for around two years (it is a rare slow growing cancer - can't remember the name) but my point is, that she went to school, played, stayed over at friends houses, rode horses, had good days. But she still had cancer. It was always still there. If we were physically ill and had good days, would we feel the same as we do? I don't think I would.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_uk Posted January 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 I'm not confused and my answer is absolutley yes. I have many days like that. Even if I only feel 'good' for ten minutes, I think I am a fraud. I think you will get lot's of replies from people that feel exactly the same. Lot's of people have asked the same question and have the same worry/fear. My niece had cancer, no one realised, she had pains and was underweight, but no one could find out why. She got quite ill eventually and that's when they discovered it in emergency surgery for another issue. They said by the size of the growths that she must have had it for around two years (it is a rare slow growing cancer - can't remember the name) but my point is, that she went to school, played, stayed over at friends houses, rode horses, had good days. But she still had cancer. It was always still there. If we were physically ill and had good days, would we feel the same as we do? I don't think I would.x That is a good way of putting things. I'm sorry to hear about your niece x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ollieclews Posted January 14, 2012 Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 Hey Steve, First of all its great to see that your finding the forums of great use! I myself often have good or normal days and you wouldnt think I had any kind of illness, Your not a fraud at all it can just sometimes feel that way (I get the same feelings too) We all have good days and bad days and just because were having a good day doesnt mean that theres nothing wrong it just means that we are coping better with it. When I first used to see my GP about it I felt like he didnt believe me as on the days I saw him I would feel ok. But after talking to him about it he understood. I hope this helps and your certainly not on your own! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 14, 2012 Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 Yes, I used to feel this way for years and years. I guess now I have accepted and more importantly have allowed myself to have good days. It's normal with MH to have the good and bad days, it's also normal for us to punish ourselves for this fact but I am recently more OK with it. Hope you can find some measure of peace with it too xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_uk Posted January 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 Hey Steve, First of all its great to see that your finding the forums of great use! I myself often have good or normal days and you wouldnt think I had any kind of illness, Your not a fraud at all it can just sometimes feel that way (I get the same feelings too) We all have good days and bad days and just because were having a good day doesnt mean that theres nothing wrong it just means that we are coping better with it. When I first used to see my GP about it I felt like he didnt believe me as on the days I saw him I would feel ok. But after talking to him about it he understood. I hope this helps and your certainly not on your own! Thankyou for the reply. It's so frustrating! My head is all over the place! I'm hoping my GP won't just brush it off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_uk Posted January 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 Yes, I used to feel this way for years and years. I guess now I have accepted and more importantly have allowed myself to have good days. It's normal with MH to have the good and bad days, it's also normal for us to punish ourselves for this fact but I am recently more OK with it. Hope you can find some measure of peace with it too xxx I hope so too. I have some time from work as of now (I finish work in 5mins) so I'm going to find a hobby xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myla Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Oh yes!! In the past I've cancelled gp appointments, discharged myself from psych, decided to stop taken meds (though I have to say with gp knowledge and proper slow taper etc), refused to take/re-start meds (until I feel I have no other choice etc). But we are all 'normal' - it's everyone else that's fucked up!! So no, I think you're being completely 'normal' :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ollieclews Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Thankyou for the reply. It's so frustrating! My head is all over the place! I'm hoping my GP won't just brush it off. Its no problem! And yes it is very frustrating! Your GP wont just brush it off he will try his best to help you :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_uk Posted January 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Today is GP day. Appointment is 10am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Good luck Steve and let us know how you get on xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_uk Posted January 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 GP said that he would of normally referred me to NHS healthy minds but due to my manic episodes I've been referred to a psychiatrist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainie Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Thats good news, help finally, well done for sticking to your appointment......I however didn't go to mine today.......slept in D'oh!!! I really hope Psych can help you and start to help you feel better. And I also have days where i feel like a fraud, I have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks too. Lainie x x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 I'm glad you kept your appt and that the first steps have been made to getting you some help xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_uk Posted January 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 Thats good news, help finally, well done for sticking to your appointment......I however didn't go to mine today.......slept in D'oh!!! I really hope Psych can help you and start to help you feel better. And I also have days where i feel like a fraud, I have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks too. Lainie x x x Cheers Lainie. I'll see what happens with the psych. My GP mentioned I may need meds. If it means changing the person that I am then they can keep them. I'm after answers not change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 I'm glad that they have referred you for a proper assessment and I hope it goes well. So what hobby are you going to take up? xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_uk Posted January 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 I'm glad that they have referred you for a proper assessment and I hope it goes well. So what hobby are you going to take up? xxx I've still not decided? I got some DVDs today to watch over the next couple of weeks. Any suggestions? X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaz Posted January 16, 2012 Report Share Posted January 16, 2012 ""I tell myself to just shut up, grow up, act normal. There must be a reason for me to tell myself to 'stop it' had there not?"" At least it's you and not your entire world and support structure telling you this! It's normal to self-doubt. I feel like a fraud all the time, because I'm high-functioning BPD, people don't believe I have any problem with relationships until I'm in one, or until I go nuts. They believe the depression, but think it's all self-inflicted. Especially at work. It's all "Chin up, you'll be right! Turn that frown upside down!" Pfft. I agree with the hobby thing though! This year, I am taking up target shooting (for mental challenge and sense of achievement, I would never harm another being), and also some type of martial art (for physical fitness and meditaton). The reason behind this idea is that I can be on my own whilst doing this stuff. There's no team involved, so I don't feel anxious about letting anyone down. I still have a sense of improvement and achievement, but I'm not depressed about being the worst - because I'm only competing with myself. And if I'm good at it, I may even become one of those awesome kick-ass chicks in the special forces or something. Easier said than done though! Let's see if I can stick to my guns... haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 17, 2012 Report Share Posted January 17, 2012 I really don't know what you are into hun? Over my life I have enjoyed sport, music playing, painting, poem writing, gardening and other creative stuff like I make a lot of my own cards and sew some of them. I also read a lot when I am well. What videos are you watching? xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow girl Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 I've been having a week of those thoughts and doubts this week. It's been doing my head in. It's just the way it is - it is not somthing to feel guilty about. just enjoy the normal times and perhaps, with the right tratment you'll have more of them. A hobby is a good idea. I'm trying to think of something new I want to do too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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