Respite/hospital

[lauraw2693]

I've been to visit a respite place this morning with my support worker, which was nicer than I expected to be honest and reassured a few of my fears.

Its to arrange a stay for after a particular event which involves seeing someone from my past I really don't want to see. The problem is I feel I am getting worse leading up to it as well (still two months to go) so am considering that maybe I need some help staying safe before then too.

I've done all I can at home - on weekly prescriptions, someone has my spare meds, only one blade (security blanket type) etc. I am honestly scared what I am capable of doing recently, as in harming myself badly.

The respite was more relaxed than I expected so I could come and go as I wanted, would be in charge of my own meds etc which is good but if I am truly honest it also worries me, it would give me the opportunity to go out, buy meds and take them, or hurt myself in other ways.

I've never been in respite or hospital, I've managed to avoid it so far, and I'm not sure how to answer when they ask if I'm suicidal, I am sometimes, not sure other times, as silly as that sounds. It seems to depend who is in my mind at the time.

I guess I'm after opinions of people who have been in both/either as I don't know what to do. I find myself more and more just wanting to walk into A&E and ask to be put into hospital as I want to die. Other times I'm too scared to consider it and don't think they'd let me leave!

[Roses]

Hello, I've been in respite and plan to go again. I've also had extensive experience as an in-patient at hospital too and the respite is intended for me to get regular breaks (it's in my care plan). At ours you get your own room with kitchen and perhaps own shower room or you end up sharing a bathroom with one other and I had no problem at all when I was in. It is intended to give you a break from usual stresses and strains and at ours if you feel you are at risk they can administer your meds for you. At our centre they have long-term rehab cases as well as short-term and then a few respite rooms. It's near a town centre and shops/cinema so there is plenty to do if you want to go out or if not there are plenty of DVD's and that at the place and I take my own card-making kit with me. They have karaoke nights and pizza nights and the such. Is yours similar? Ours are not allowed to provide food now so you have to bring your own and it can feel daunting but once you get there I'm sure you will be OK. If the staff think you are at risk to yourself they will arrange for you to go in for assessment or for your team to come out and if you are deemed as "high risk" you cannot go in to ours or if you are only just out of hospital I can't either (think need 6 weeks stable at home). So in summary, I would try it hun xxx

[lauraw2693]

Thanks for your reply Roses, I think my mind may have been made up for me after an awful night in A&E.. psych nurse asked if I wanted to be admitted tonight, said no so crisis team coming over in the morning to talk about admission again xxx

[ChelseaGirl]

I stayed in respite care for a few weeks. It really helped me to be able to just concentrate on myself and not worry about the general life stuff that was/is such a struggle. Like Roses, mine was in a town where I had access to shops etc, but I pretty much chose to stay indoors the whole time. I had my own flat, but there was a communal lounge where other residents could go for some company if they wanted to. There was also 24hr support staff available for when I was feeling particularly vulnerable or unsafe. They were fantastic. My cpn also came to visit me there daily. I recommend respite/hospital if you feel you are at breaking point, but you have to be honest about your fears otherwise they cannot help you properly.

Wishing you lots of luck xxx