Christine001 Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 dont know what to say, dont know why, but its too hard to go. dont know what to do now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 end of hope and without hope there isnt life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 and without life there is no pain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 ((((((Christine)))))) sometimes its just the wrong time to get help. even getting getting help t the right time can be really painful but getting help at the wrong time can be worse than getting help at all theres always hope. lots of people do therapy and can't deal with it but then they go back another time and they can. so maybe it will be like that for you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 no emma, i didnt have any hope before therapy, cant find any in therapy and maybe just feel that after all these years, well its time to give it up. for you and there is hope and a future hun, I shouldnt have posted anyway as I am selfish and forget the effects on others. a mother who feels like I do is the most selfish of all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starryeyesee Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Hi Christine sorry you're feeling so bad. could you arrange with your t that you need a break for a bit? Sometimes it all gets too much, i undertand, but you may feel in a few weeks thats you need to talk to someone and it would be a shame if you cut off some RL support. I understand how you feel, I've been in t for 3 and a half years an I struggle with what to say each week and dread going but I think-even doing it french-but I think its important to look at my issues and talk them through however painful it can be at times Do you have any other RL support where you may find it easier to talk? Don't give up, we are never too old to sort out our problems thinking of you starry xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 thank starry that sounds like a good idea, will try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyx Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Don't be so hard on yourself hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 I am bpd,I amwicked manipulative a total shit and want ro fucking die, but cant because of the 2 fucking children I bore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted February 7, 2012 Report Share Posted February 7, 2012 Hi Christine, this may come across as a bit harsh and heartless but it is all meant nicely and hopefully helpfully I know you say there is no hope so if there is no hope what harm can it do to go to therapy? You have nothing to lose and you may gain. If you don't gain anything then nothing changes. Just my way of looking at things. Please try and be nice to yourself, Toaster xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 8, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 I understand that toasterand I agree its a good idea, i dont think its harsh,, in fact been doing that for 5 months, never wanted to go just going to try to find a way to survive, talked and talked but every week have not wanted to go, keep going because that is the right thing to do, be a good patient. now I dont want to spend 4 hours,4 buses, running from one bus to another, faking where I am for the kids and at work, just to sit there and talk about things I cant and dont want to change. he offered me therapy because he thought I was going to kill myself, it was kind of him but he works with many people with PDs and he should be concerntrating on them. I dont want help and to prove this I am what do we have to say, having a break from here.bless you lovely people you are the only thing thats kept me going for the past year xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toaster Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 Hi Christine, I think what you said there about not wanting to change could be a starting block for you. Why don't you want to change, what is it that you think you should be changing? I hope you keep safe, Toast xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted February 8, 2012 Report Share Posted February 8, 2012 4 hours and 4 buses sounds awful, is there no alternative? or is there any chance you'll get your driving lisense back soon? or is there anyone there who could visit you at home? I know you dont want to do it anymore now and thats ok, you don't have to find all that out now but now there are other ways of getting therapy. I think if they are going to take your driving lisense away they can't really be suprised if you are struggling to go somewhere that has such a difficult journey, maybe there is something they can do you don't have to take a break. We can still chat on here even if you dont want us to help you. take care of yourself whatever you decide, you are worth taking care of xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 hi yes here again. had another delay to driving licence this time mh services. I am so so so sick of not being able to drive, it effects my life and childrens life so much. re change, coz i cant commit to this life and so therapy contradicts this. i have got my validation, though still feel everything is my fault. but commiting to moving forward and living is the issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YukkyMummy Posted February 13, 2012 Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 Not sure how you lost your license but I also know the feeling of losing your freedom and independence. I lost my license two years ago due to unexplained blackouts. Fortunately 18month later the condition was diagnosed, treated and stable so I have my license back again. For the last 6months I have so felt grateful for having it back it really has given me back some 'of myself'. Will keep my fingers crossed for you x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted February 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 Went to therapy, it was hard to go but took a taxi, I am glad I went. re licence was after an 0d when I had fits, hope to get it back by end of march, but never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted February 13, 2012 Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 well done for going, i'm glad your glad you went. I hope it starts to get more helpful and more worth the effort Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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