1St Psychologist Session

[sparks]

Hi All,

I apologise as I have not been around for a while as the constant form filling and various appointments send me crazy and I crawl into my shell for very long periods of time.

Now I have another hurdle, I have to start seeing a psychologist on Friday and I am suffering all sorts of the usual symptoms of having to meet the person and then what the hell do I say, I hate talking to anyone like this? What is expected does anyone know?

I wish I was rich so I could get away from all the hoops and just live in my little world with not having to deal with others and follow some path that is supposed to lead me to a kind of wellness that I know I am unable to attain-)

Thanks for listening

[Maddie50]

Hello Sparks. I have never seen a psychologist but I guess there is nothing more expenced than you tell the person what you are feeling and why you need appointments.

I always get anxious meeting people too but I usually feel pleased when I have managed a meeting so I hope you can go and get some benefit out of it.

M x

[sparks]

Hi Maddie50,

Thanks for the quick reply it is much appreciated, I tell you I feel forced to complete these actions because I have to follow the system to receive my sick benefits and yet I really have no desire. I am agoraphobic, suffer terrible panic attacks, anxiety, vertigo and and other physical symptoms that would be embarrassing if something happened when I was out. The minute I have to see people or have to go out for an appointment I am in a dreadful state for days beforehand and sometime afterwards.

Nobody seems to believe I can be left alone for so long and be at my happiest...........-) xx

[Lily-Bee]

I also think just tell the psychologist what youre there for. You could write a little note to have at hand.

Something else just wondering,you say youre happy alone. You know yourself best but just wondering are you really happy then or just its when you feel in any case safe? Maybe theres a degree of happy youve just never experienced yet?

Also why not give this psychologist a genuine go,what if your symptoms improve with say 5% isnt that already worth it?

Lily

[lonelyheartemma]

I think Lily's idea of writing a note is a good idea. it can be so scary meeting new people and so easy to forget to say things if you are nervous, if you have something written down you dont have to rely on your memory so much

every psychologist is different so its hard to say what they do expect. But I dont think it would suprise them if you get there and you feel uncertain, you dont know what to say etc. I'm sure they are used to that, they must have met so many people with those problems.

they probably won't expect you to go into much detail in your first appt. they might want a general overview but its likely theyll also ask you lots of questions about your life. Probably nothing thats difficult to answer, just so they know a few things about you. If you have filled in a questionaire or spoken to anyone else from the cmht its likely the psychologist will ask you those questions again. idk why they dont just read my notes but maybe they want to make sure nothings changed or there havent been any mistakes or misunderstandings.

I dont want to embaras you Sparks or gross out anyone else or make any assumptions about your embarasing personal problems but when i am at the clinic and i think i might need the toilet during the meeting they are always happy to show me where the nearest one is just in case i need to go in a hurry

if you really believe you are happier alone i think its ok to say that. they might still want you to have a go at learning to be happy when you are around peple too but some people do genuinely prefer to be alone.

[sparks]

Hi Lily and lonleyheartemma,Thanks for the advice, after a night of no sleep and other coping measures my appointment was cancelled this morning because of the snow

I am not happy around people anymore after years of being outgoing, working and travelling around the world on my own. For some reason I have a beacon on my head that must say 'hey over here as much abuse and violence as you can mange' I suffered for years going through my life with repetitive types of abuse until it got to the point where I could not pick myself up, dust myself off, and just get on with it anymore. Apart from some physical problems my CPN says the last abuse (around 12 months ago) is the straw that broke the camel's back and I closed off completely

While I have not closed down totally emotionally nothing gives me any pleasure or interest to start building another life and I can spend weeks without contact with anyone which I truly do not mind.

Thanks for your help it is truly appreciated

[lonelyheartemma]

I'm sorry your appt was cancelled. maybe in some ways it was a relief but its difficult when you work yourself up for something and it doesnt happen and often with a 1st session of anything all you really want is to get it out of the way.

I hope your psychologist can give you some support. People have told me in the past to ignore people who are horrible but that isnt easy.

I hope you will have more interest in life as you get better. its very sad you feel like that but it doesnt mean the interest will never come back, it might just mean youve got lots of healing to do first