Social Worker

[lonelyheartemma]

The people who came to see me last week were social workers. Only one of them came today but she answered my question this time. She is my social worker tho shes actually a trainee. I suppose she can only really learn on the job and trainee solicitors are fully qualified and capable of doing what they are assined to but it does worry me a bit.

She didnt push me into anything which i'm happy about. so maybe the other woman is the pushy one and my social worker felt like she had to go along with what i said because shes a trainee. She asked if i'd applied for the group she told me about last time and told me i didnt have to do it if I didnt want to. Thats good to know but i've done the aplication form which is like 8 pages long, i might as well have a chat to the woman who runs it.

But she said i couldnt move out for 3-4 years and if i was choosey about where i lived it would be even longer. I kind of guessed that but it feels like such a long time

we also talked about suicidal feelings. She kept saying how she was there to provide me with ways of coping but she didnt really suggest any. the only thing she suggested is ignoring the feeling until i saw her then venting it all to her. ignoring it? is it that easy then? great i must try that.

she says i can't have a cpn unless i want the cpn to do therapy, she says she can do all the support stuff.

she says the reason i havent had a psychologist appt is probably because the psychologist has decided they can't help me. The psychologist hasnt even met me. and even if that is the reason why they should have written to tell me that, not leave me wondering whats going on. they said theyd be in contact in 3-4 months. It wasnt 'we'll be in contact in 3-4 months if we feel we can help you'.

I forgot to offer her a cup of tea, i wasnt expecting her to say yes because she said no last time but i did mean to ask. now i feel rude.

I dont think she believes certain things about my mum. I said how she walks in on me when i'm on the computer and i have to minimise my windows in a hurry so she cant see what i'm doing. and the social worker was like 'well she knocks on the door 1st doesnt she?" NO she does not, she's never done that, she thinks knocking on doors in your own house is silly. Its like the social worker agrees with me the things my mum does are wrong but she finds it easier to believe i've got it wrong than it really happens.

but I didnt feel like i needed the advocate there. I dont think my social worker is really tuned in to what i need yet but she is much easier to talk to without the other woman there. It is hard because i misunderstand her a lot, she doesnt seem to explain things clearly but i did feel like i knew where i was a bit more when she finally told me what her job was.

heres all the problems i had and how they got dealt with this time

problem 1- my mum is my official carer

my social worker confirmed what people on here said, carers arent entitled to know what i tell people.

problem 2- it feels like they are treating me as a diagnosis and not an individual

I didnt feel this quite so much, I think it might have been mostly the other lady making me feel like this. maybe they have to start off a bit like that because they dont know people and i have always suspected they dont read the reports from the people who refer them!

problem 3- they don't seem to have any respect for my opinions.

the social worker challenged my opinions sometimes but she did seem to respect and accept them.

problem 4- I think the information they have about me is incomplete/incorrect

She really didnt bring anything with her so i couldnt really ask to check anything but through the course of our conversation it was really easy to mention things i had wondered before if she knew about

problem 5- They are trying to force me to do a course which i was unable to do before and where the head of the organisation was really horrible to me

She asked if i still felt the same way now but she didnt try to push me.

problem 6- They don't seem to know/care about my physical problems

She mentioned them herself and asked a few questions and it was easy to tell her the things she'd stopped me from saying before. she didnt write anything down but i think she gets that its more serious than she realised. I think she was concerned i was calling for ambulances for no reason but i think she feels now i was right to call the ambulance when i did. and I have only ever called an ambulance on the advice of first aiders. if in doubt i wouldnt call an ambulance because they are there for emergencies and its not like i'm desperate to stay alive.

so those problems seem much better now but I'm still not totally happy.

idk how i can survive 3 years before moving out, she doesnt feel its serious enough for it to happen any quicker. I think it would happen quicker if she started hitting me again but she hasnt done that since i found out about childline when i was about 14.

I am upset it looks like they tink seeing a psychologist wont help me and i'm upset that they didnt even write to me to tell me that. if they had written to me i would have known 3 months ago and i could have looked at private therapy. but just leaving someone waiting and doing nothing isnt right. and i think i do need therapy, proper therapy, not just a chat with a social worker

My social worker is a nice person and not pushy but i dont think shes really equiped to deal with me. she says shes worried about me being suicidal and she says she needs to give me coping methods but she didnt do anything. all she said was that pretending to sh and talking to my friends isnt really good enough. tbh i find it a lot more helpful than talking to her. I like her and found it interesting talking to her but i didnt really find it helpful. I told her about my suicide attempts but she didnt really say anything. She kept saying that killing myself was a very 'final' way of solving my problems. yes thats part of the atraction.

next time i see her I hope she'll have an answer for me about the psychologist. if she says the psychologist doesnt want to see me i'll ask for a referal to a cpn so i can get therapy from them instead. I would still like a cpn but she said i wouldnt get one unless they were giving me therapy because i have a social worker and she can do everything a cpn can do.

I dont really want a social worker. the one i had last time was a waste of time really, she saw me for about 2 mins every month. but i'll give this one a chance.

[autism-bpd]

when she meant 3-4 years to get a place, thats the length of a time on the council waiting list unless you are about to become homeless.

i read all this and listening. dont be hard on yourself your doing well and gives u a big hug from me

[lonelyheartemma]

thank you for reading it Flipper. big hugs to you too!

thats what i thought but its not nice thinking about 3-4 more years with my mum tho hopefully the therapy can help me deal with her

[JasmineRose]

A gentle hug from me, too.

I hope that you are able to receive therapy, one way or another. I think it could really help you.

[lonelyheartemma]

thank you for the hug Jasmine.

I dont think i'll get it. idk if they think i'm beyond help or not bad enough but i dont thik i'll get it

[JasmineRose]

From what you write here, I certainly see you as not beyond help. I see you as reflective, honest, articulate. All things that contribute to gaining a lot from therapy. It wouldn't be a 'quick fix', which is probably what the NHS is after, and why they're doing what they're doing.

[donnam]

hugs hun, head bit ess, but wanted to know i read and care

[lonelyheartemma]

thank you Jasmine. I wish the cmht agreed with you! I would say a 'long fix' is just as much worth getting as a quick fix. maybe it would be even better because often quick fixes dont solve the problem for ever, they can get rid of problems but they dont always stop them coming back.

thank you Cad. its always nice to know someone cares. I think not many people do

[Maddie50]

I think you are doing well. My years with the CMHT has taught me that nothing gets done without following a process and waiting - often for far too long. You will develop patience in abundance if nothing else. I have also had all sorts of care co ordinators, social workers, CPNs , trainees and qualified. I thnk what is important is not what they are but who they are and if they listen then they are probably going to be ok.

M x

[lonelyheartemma]

Thank you Maddie. I think shes a nice person. maybe thats the most important thing. But i do feel like theyve offered me what i wanted then given me something i didnt want in its place without explaining what they are doing.

she said she'd ask about the psychologist thing. if she doesnt get the answer i want it won't be her fault. She was better than last time. last time i mentioned the psychologist thing twice, she ignored me. this time she actually answered my questions. So i do prefer her to the experienced social worker she came with last time as it was better when she wasnt there.

But I feel like the cmht as a whole have kind of made decisions about me without telling me whats decided. I feel like they really should have discussed it with me coz its about me but the least they should have done is written to me to let me know what was happening. deciding they can't offer me therapy (if thats what theyve done) stops me from having therapy from them but deciding they cant offer me therapy and then not telling me means I havent been able to get support from anyone else either because i was waiting for them to get back to me.

maybe I do need the mental health advocate. not for dealing with the social worker but to help me talk to the people in charge.

I think there might be a slight atitude of 'she's with her parents so she'll be ok'. my social worker did kind of say that as my mum is my carer they have to consider what she wants. maybe i will be ok. but if they had that atitude every time lots of ppl wouldnt be ok

feeling calmer now but so many things i'm not happy about. is that wrong?

[shailaine]

It is good that at least you now know who it is that is dealing with you, though you should have been told that from the start.

My care co-ordinator is a Social Worker and it was explained to me that they do the same work as a CPN. She is also newly qualified which to be honest I believe works in my favour as she is very keen and on the ball, she isn't dis heartened in her job at all yet and so is always looking for ways to help me. She has done really well for me in the year I have had her, fighting for my needs.

My head is a bit mushed today as I have been to my first DBT group meeting but I am trying to remember, when I was first assessed it was to decide whether I was to be either primary or secondary care with CMHT and a lot of what kind of help you got depended on which you went into.

At first I was primary care and there was little to offer, however I did get 8 weeks with a psychologist and it was her that refered me onto secondary care saying primary care would not be enough for me

Secondary care offers a lot more help. If you not being offered any therapy maybe you could ask which care it is you are receiving and if it is primary maybe ask to be considered for secondary care

You can ask you social worker to find out why they feel you don't need any therapy and talk to her about why you feel you do

[lonelyheartemma]

I dont think my social worker is really on the ball Shailaine I can totally see how a new social worker could be like you described and i wish my one was but she isn't. I think its not totally her fault, we do seem to be on different wavelengths. She talks about things i dont understand and i talk about things she doesnt understand. i think shes expecting me to know things about the cmht which no one has ever explained to me but she can't really know what has been explained to me and what hasnt. And i've decided all i can really do is assume she knows nothing about me.

Thank you, i will ask about primary and secondary care, i didnt know about that. they've told me very little.

She asked me what kind of therapy i want but she won't say what kind of therapy is available. I'm not sure why its up to be to ask for a particular kind of therapy? do most people know all the different therapies you can have? am I qualified to judge what i need? I could google different therapies but i might end up choosing something they dont have. And there probably isnt a complete list of therapies anywhere, there might be something there thats perfect for me but if i've never heard of it i might never realise. also i feel like if i go to them and say 'i want dbt' and I cant have dbt for some reason they might not offer me something else. But if i say 'i want therapy' i'm leaving myself open to different options and also showing i'm willing to hear other peoples opinions of what therapy is most likely to help and why. when i was younger and i asked for specific things they told me off for doing that, now i'm not being so specific but thats wrong too?

I spoke to my mum about and she gave me permission ( ) to talk to my GP about it. I wanted to before but my mum said no and tho you can book appts with some doctors online you can't with my doctor so i can't make an appt without her knowing. but whatever, at least she's agreed now. idk what power a GP has but i think she's a bit like your social worker Shailaine. shes a very young doctor, shes very enthusiastic, she has lots of ideas and if you mention something to her she always seems to know something about it. So even if she cant persuade the CMHT to do anything she might be able to suggest something. I can't talk to her about my mum, even if she wasnt there it would be so awkward because shes almost a family friend but she's a really good kind knowlegable interested caring doctor.