Betsy Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 been out of the hosp for about 3 weeks now. i was in because i went off my meds and became suicidal. i wanted to go off my meds because i dont think they are working. my t does not want me off them because he thinks i am too crazy to work with when i am not on meds. there is a pattern when i go off my meds... i am fairly stable... want off meds... go off meds... feel euphoria for a couple of days (i love this feeling)... start crashing and go into depression and extreame anxiety... become suicidal..am hospitalized. i do not want to be hospitalized.. i just dont want to be on meds. i think if my t would help me i could get off and stay off. anyway, i am on holliday with a friend and will have been off of them for 5 days by the time i see him on tuesday. i forgot to pack my meds.. needless to say i am off them. my t will be mad but i really didnt do this on purpose. anyway it is done now. my t has this honesty thing with me and will get really angry if i dont tell him i am off.. however he will get really angry if i do tell him. what am i suppose to do.. tell/dont tell? do you think i am being unreasonable?bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
befuddled Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 Bets, only you know the answer to that because only you know both yourself and the t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladylazurus27 Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 Betsy, You are not alone in your med troubles, i've been going through it too. If i were you, i would be honest with my therapist. but that is me, i cannot tell a lie to anyone. however, as befuddled said, you are the only one who knows yourself and your relationship with your thearpist...so you have to decide what's best for your situation. ~kristy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buoyantcat Posted August 1, 2004 Report Share Posted August 1, 2004 Betsy, have you talked to your therapist about not being on meds? Maybe you could slowly wean yourself off of them, then there wouldn't be such a drastic affect. Try talking to your therapist. In the mean time, please take care of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summer Posted August 2, 2004 Report Share Posted August 2, 2004 I know what going off my meds does to me and I don't recommend it. Yes you are in a state of euphoria for awhile but in the end you are far worse then if you had taken your meds...I would talk to your therapist about it and see what suggestions he/she could give you as an alternative. HUGS and hang in there. :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted August 2, 2004 Report Share Posted August 2, 2004 Bets, Do what will keep you safest and that's all you can do. Tell him of course. He's only a person like you - sometimes people do get mad at us. Of course he may accuse you of forgetting on purpose..... Verbena Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2004 I have decided I will tell him. he will just have to be mad. i think i am in a different place than i was before so i think i can do it this time. well i will just have to wait and see what he says. sometimes i go off them feeling like i dont care if i get better or not. i think that it is kind of a russian rolulet type of thing. oh well if i kill myself it was meant to be. i dont think that is why i am doing it now. i will end up doing what he wants because i dont want him to quit seeing me. thx for listening and commenting bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ragdoll Posted August 2, 2004 Report Share Posted August 2, 2004 bets im worried because of something you confided in me about messing with your meds and what you want to do. just be careful and tell your t. please or tell someone. im not staff now im not obligated to do anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted August 2, 2004 Report Share Posted August 2, 2004 Your agreement still stands ragdoll, for every day before today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2004 Doll, I am really not sure what it was i confided in you that i havent already said in these posts. my memory is bad so i am sure there was something.. i just cant remember it. dont worry about me tho... i am really doing okay and think that i could hack it without meds (unless i keep the meds for sleep because that is really messing with my mind/. i really am okay and i am going to talk with my t when i get him on tues. we have an appointment. he prob. will be able to tell anyway but i will discuss it with him. dont worry i am okay and suicide is not in my mind. thanks for caring.... bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twilight Posted August 3, 2004 Report Share Posted August 3, 2004 Bets, I hope the appt with your t goes ok and he is understanding. I'm glad you've decided to tell him. I just wanted to say I know how u feel, I've taken myself off my meds too cos I feel like they're doing more harm than good and I just want to know what is me and what is the meds. I've done it before and it made me really ill so I know its stupid to do it again but I don't care anymore, I've figured I'll just have to put up with it for a few days. Are u still off yours? Are u ok? Let us know how it goes with the t. Take care hun xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted August 3, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2004 yes i am still off mine... i feel okay... jsut a little driven right now. confused yes... need some help processing why i do this... i guess he will at least give me that. i hope he doesnt dump me and supports my no meds theory for at least a trial. we will soon see. i am okay tho... i will be okay with no hospitalization... i just know this in my soul. thx for taking time to write and caring. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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