bena.baby Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 So today, I have been good. My boyfriend is away. Normally I would hide away, not speak to anyone, not do anything, eat crap and wait for him to come home. This is not good for me, because, in addition to the depression and anger it sends me into, it puts all the focus in my life on him: when he's here, I live. When he's gone, I survive. Not a good pattern. He is away just now. I have: arranged to go out with a friend on Fri arranged to go to Germany to see my friend Today, I went to my mindfulness class, even though I SO DID NOT WANT TO. But I did and it was nice and good and useful and I am going to stay in touch with some of the people when the course finishes next week. I did laundry, put the bins out, sent an invoice that needed sending, went for coffee after class with my students and read some stuff online that was actually useful instead of just procrastinating. Today I really feel like I could be strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 way to make healthy choices for yourself, doing good esme :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starryeyesee Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 Nice one Esme I remember with having boyfriends in the past that I felt totally lost when they weren't there. now I've been single for most of the past eight years and I have coped with it. For me, making my own plans has greatly improved my confidence. starry xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insideoutgirl Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 Fantastic to read such positive news! Well done Esme =) I think I need to take a leaf out of your book, I'm useful when my boyfriend is not here and just worry and pine. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted February 28, 2012 Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 That is so great! Yayyy you! As youre proving its not really about being strong but using your healthier coping skills,thats hard at first but in time will come naturally. You should be very proud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted February 28, 2012 Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 well done esme When a loved one is not around its all about as said before, ur coping skills. The other is just living ur life and knowing that ur boyfriend will be back. easier said than done eh? but what u put is that u are living ur life. It will become a routine and u will get used to it hun . xxx Good luck and im sure u will do this until the time he is due home. Me im at a point i would of welcomed time to myself and life for what i want to do with. Hope u enjoy ur day babe xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted February 28, 2012 Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 Well done, this is brilliant! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bena.baby Posted February 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 Thank you so much for your replies guys, it is so great to have so much support from people who understand. Today I continued to be good. I went to the dentist to have a filling - part of my depression is just not caring, not looking after myself, putting things off - I have needed to get this temporary filling taken out and a new one put in for weeks. Before that I had an abscess on my tooth that I let get so bad I couldn't sleep and was crying in pain. But now I have got it all sorted out. I even stood up to the dentist and said I couldn't afford to get a white filling done privately - normally I would just have accepted it, but I just said I needed to get the NHS metal filling. So yay. The house is not spotless, but it is ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted February 28, 2012 Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 You rock! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imdebbiem Posted February 28, 2012 Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 Go girl! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted February 28, 2012 Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 nice one braving the dentist. Your post is inspiring, I think I have things I can do for myself too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bena.baby Posted February 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 Self-care has almost become a habit for me now Sah. I hardly thought twice about going to the dentist today even though I am normally so good at putting things off or calling and cancelling. It is becoming much easier for me not to do that and it is a big step for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted March 1, 2012 Report Share Posted March 1, 2012 That is wonderful. I think my self care has improved over the years as well too. It helps to build self confidence and self esteem, I just feel more capable and can see a reason for it, before I didn't think it mattered. Congrats on not cancelling your appointment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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