Hospital

[lauraw2693]

Support worker asked me again about voluntarily admitting myself because I'm going through the worst bad patch I've ever had. I asked some questions about what it would be like as I've never been in hospital and I'm only 23. She is coming back to me with some answers on Tuesday but I was wondering if I could hear other peoples' experiences. I have DID and BPD and would be going in to keep myself safe, as myself and some alters' self harming/overdosing is getting very concerning and I've been to the emergency department nearly 30 times, mostly in the last few months.

I guess my only perception of hospital is from movies etc which probably aren't very accurate. I know every area is probably different but do you usually have you own room? I guess the main thing is if I go in informally does that mean I can leave when I feel safer or is there still a minimum amount of time you have to stay? Thats my main concern but I suppose other things like do you have to eat around other people, do they look after meds for you, how often do you see a doctor etc.. Any advice or input would be helpful, thanks.

[donnam]

hey hun

the first time i was in hosp i had to share a room, but then they built a new hosp and they have your own rooms, so think it may depend, as i have had both, but both times i was on female only wards, think that is standard where i live.

yes we all had to eat together in both hospitals, food was limited in what they had, no order before had like in general hosp up here.

yes both times they look after your meds, think this is standard, and they gave our out approx 10 am and 10 pm, some had in between, but if morn and night those were the times i think, not certain on the morning time, but u had to queue up for your meds.

once in hosp i had to have approval to even go off site for few mins from dr, if none give not allowed off, voluntary doesnt mean can come and go, but more likely hood of it, when u want to leave permanently its up to dr or was here, i had no choice in it as such, they told me their opinions, and i had to agree with them basically.no min amount of time i dont think, crisis beds are usually 72 hours i believe, if dont think u r safe they wouldnt discharge u, i saw the dr every few days to be assessed. the nurse is supposed to ask how u are, several times a day, but didnt always happen for me.

if they think u could have anything to self harm, they will search u etc, to the point of taking staples out of magazines etc.

[jillv]

Hi Shadow

I'm glad you are considering hospital if it will help to keep you safer, but I understand how it is a scary prospect, especially if you have never been inside a psychiatric unit before. Maybe it would be possible to visit your local unit with your support worker so you get an idea for yourself.

In my local unit everyone has their own room, with on suite shower facilities. I think this is now a requirement everywhere. there is usually a shared bathroom. Usually there is a small kitchen area where you can make your own drinks. There will also be a laundrey room, a day room, probably a quiet room, and a dining room. Meals are usually served at specific times and most people will eat there. I think staff like to keep an eye on what patients eat. But it is possible for a certain amount of food to be brought into the rooms. There will probably also be a time out room (formally seclusion)

If you are a voluntary patient there is no requirement for you to stay if you decide you want to leave. Of course it may be recommended that you stay for a certain amount of time. Once in hospital you can then be sectioned if it is deemed necessary. This is usually a section 2. for assessment for 28 days, which can then be changed to a section 3 for up to six months if it is deemed necessary.

Sometimes patients go out for walks or to the local shops, or even further if they are well enough. Even under section patients are usually allowed out in the care of a responsible person, for increasing lengths of time.

There is uaually an outside area where you are allowed to smoke.

There is always a ward round once a week, but the doctor will probably see you more frequently than that. Meds are dispensed from a locked room with a hatch, at set times each day, and people queue up to be given them

There is usually a policy of bags to be checked, and dangerous items are locked away until needed (razors, lighters etc), but obvious this may vary from place to place.

In my experience you are left to your own devices for a lot of the time, with nursing staff and HCAs available if you want to chat.

In my local PICU there is a gym and games room, and there is occupational therapy rooms. They encourage patients to participate in theraputic activities when they are well enough.

Hope this helps a little xx

[spudnbeans]

hi

i have been in several times over the past few years and although they are not very pleasant places they do there job when needed. i never had my own room on any ocassion i was on a small bay with 6 beds and curtains round each bed if u wanted to draw them which i did. meds were given out at set times during the day and if u were struggling they could be given at night too if u asked for them. we had our bags searched on arrival and everything was checked even us we were padded down by a female member of staff. we were allowed to keep phones and music players but chargers headphones etc were taken off us and locked away. we could ask for the headphones but phones had to be put on charge in a room and then the door locked. we werent even allowed to keep toiletries these were put in our own boxes and then locked away we had to ask for them each morning and night. meals were eaten on the ward in small room for the first few days and then after assessment if u were deemed ok u were allowed down to the cafe thing to eat but under supervision.

it might sound very scary and i can totally understand how u are feeling but once u r there and settle in u get used to it all very quickly. it is a safe environment and its worth putting your trust in them to keep yourself safe when u cant do it for yourself. i must say i always came out far better than i went in and now when things get very scary and tough out here in rl i do think about going back in but beds are so scarce that prob wouldnt happen. all i can say is if u get offered the chance to go in i would take it and stick it out cos they are there to look after u and u can be properly assessed over a period of time by professionals and it wont be half as distressing as your trips to a nd e sound honestly.

i hope it all goes ok for u and u do get the chance cos otherwise whats the alternative. take care and keep us updated.

[Roses]

Everyone has been really informative here and I have nothing more to add. I hope that you get the help you need, sounds like a short stay or rest in hospital would do you some good right about now xxx

[Fanta]

Everything I wanted to say has already been said, I hope that you do consider hospital shadow as I think it will do you good. xxxx

[lauraw2693]

Thanks for all the replies, they have been really helpful to read. I'm going to give myself til Tuesday unless anything drastic happens over the weekend and then decide, but right now I'm thinking its going to be the best place for me. Thanks again xxx

[lou99]

i've been in twice. Both times i flipped out over something silly & discharged myself against medical advice. That is prob my biggest regret in my life, that i didn't see the treatment thro, i could be so much better by now if i had stuck it out. So i would say try to see it as an opportunity to get help & become well, or at least well on the road to recovery. Thinking of u shadow x

[bpdgirl]

Hey ShadowofTheDay

I hope you can find support outside of the hospital regardless of whether you get a bed or not. My name has been put on a waiting list, and in both our cases I think it's a really sensible thing for us to seek that support. However, I keep being reminded on why life on the outside is safer. Either that, or all the Crisis team nurses are incredibly bitter! I am so confused about whether to accept when a bed does come up. I know there's a serious shortage here at the moment. All I keep being told is that the ward is not a good idea for young adults as they won't be able to cope, There have been other comments about how 'disturbing' it is and how you could still harm yourself on the ward. I find the latter comment to be particularly disrespectful given that it takes a lot of guts to even admit to having these thoughts/needing hospital, and to be told something like that just makes things feel futile. Another aspect is the dependency issue and how you may become too used to it. I can't see this being the case given the horror stories I have heard! Despite all of this, and like you, I feel like I need to be on a ward because I'm not safe and feel out of control in terms of mood/lifestyle etc. I really hope it's not like how they say, I really hope these are just the bitter experiences of front line nurses who have some vendetta against the mentally ill for both our sakes - I really, really do. I also find comments about how if everyone who was depressed went to hospital they'd be the half of the city there. To me, this just shows complete ignorance as depression and suicidal thinking are two elements alltogether in my view.

How's your support at the moment? I am honestly shocked if no one has sectioned you or something. I mean, you really are struggling, and I don't know what you need, but it seems like having a support worker alone isn't enough. Take care now, and I am so sorry it has taken that many attempts to get the help you deserve. :bigarmhug[1]:wishing you all the best. x

[lauraw2693]

Thanks for your detailed reply. No they see me as 'too sensible' to probably ever be sectioned, they don't seem to notice my impulsive side and say it's just self harm when that wasn't my intention.. I've been told the only way I'd be sectioned is if I went in voluntarily and then wanted to leave telling them I have plans to commit suicide.

Things haven't improved much, they did get me an emergency respite place but I only stayed one night I couldn't handle it all the voices went crazy because there was loud men shouting obscenities upstairs til the early hours (very relaxing!) I took full dose diazepam and full dose sleeping pills and still didn't sleep. I guess if I can't handle that though I wouldn't handle hospital.. I'll just have to keep hoping for more help from the outside but I'm receiving the maximum they can do really I think Really hope things have improved for you xxx

[addy2]

I was admitted twice it was horrible i was searched my belt was taken and any clothes that had strings on them, also took my i pod because of the headphones and my charger, last time i was on close obs for four days they checked on me every 20 minutes night and say and i wasn't allowed outside i nearly lost the plot i cried all the time i saw a psychiatrist every two days but they were crap nothing helped i was basically left to do nothing, i refuse to go back my social worker said next time she would have to section me as i won't go voluntarily. It does work as a place of safety but other than that they are horrible places and most mental health staff try keep people out of them because it has a negative impact on them, i really hope they are able to help you on the outside, take care.x

[lauraw2693]

Thanks Addy, I hope they can help but just feeling a bit hopeless at the moment. I was in A&E hysterically crying begging a psychiatrist to admit me because all I needed was a safe place, he told me that it wasn't safe because people still self harm and OD in there and then just sent me home to hurt myself more xx

[addy2]

Sorry to hear that Shadow, if you could get access to a hospital like mine it would help there is no way you could self-harm or od in there, there aren't even locks on the tolet or shower doors you can't even bath if you are on close obs you have to shower with them in the room. Is there any other support they can offer you?

[lauraw2693]

Not really its only the crisis team at home and they'll just see me a few times then forget about me til next time I'm in A&E needing stitches or blood tests, nothing really helps. Your hospital sounds a lot safer, as uncomfortable as it must be at times xx

[sundries]

When I was in hospital people would smugle in drugs there were always people yelling and screaming. people often self harmed in there, Once I found a young woman (about 20yrs old) self harming in hte toilets with a broken plastic knife she had taken from the kitchen, I went and told the staff and they told me that it was her responsibility and it was up to her to come to them! I had to give her my spare ankle bandage (I had twisted ankle at time) to help her stem the bleeding. That kind of thing wasn't uncommon, She wouldnt go and see nurses herself cos hee said they would be so horrible to her. On another occassion I saw a nurse grab another patient 18 yr old girl and drag her in front of bathroom mirror holding up her scarred arms telling her how ugly and revolting she was and how ungrateful. Another time there was an elderly woman very ill who had soiled her bed. My friend told the nurses and they told her it was the lady's responsibility. My friend tried to help the woman as she was too unstable on her medication to stand so was lying in her own urine. My friend got yelled at by the nurses for 'interfering with another patients care'. Then there was the time another patient who couldn't stand cos he had been injected and wasn't able to walk to the loo so he was holding onto the furniture to help him move roudn the room. The wardrobe fell on top of him. I got her nurse and she told me to stop interfering. They did not come and help him for over half an hour. If I had not moved the wardrboe he would have been trapped under it all that time.

This is in the last few years not the 50s. Sometimes the way hospital is portrayed in films is a total understatement.

[greenthing]

i found Samaritans a big help when I was like this a few years back.... For various reasons they try and keep me out of hospital as much as possible.

[Christine001]

ive been in hospital a few times.

it was a single sex ward i had my own room. it was noisy at times, the nurses well some good and some seemed unintrested.

you had a key worker who you could talk to privately, I didnt engage with staff really. could see psychiatrist twice a week, not always did he want to see me if nothing had changed much.

the patients were to best thing about the stay.

first 3 days was checked every 1/2 hour. alsway checked every hour at night via a small window in door,

wasnt allowed off ward first 3 days, then if ok things are increased to being able to walk around hospital on own.

depends on your needs and risks, I imagine they will want to check you have nothing with you that you can harm yourself.

it might be an opportunity for them to assess the issues with others hurting you, thought will they come out and how will they feel being there.

if you go voluntarily you can discharge yourself but they would always want you to see a dr before you go and sometimes the dr takes a lone time to come. if they are concerned about your safety they might want you to stay and yes can use a section to make you stay.

i dont know pros and cons but if they are saying it would help maybe go with it x

[Shadow girl]

How did you get on yesterday? Hope you are ok. x

[lauraw2693]

Thanks for the replies, sundries that sounds awful. My mind is a bit spaced out as I've taken my night time meds but I'll come back and reply properly tomorrow xxx