I Think I Must Have Thrown Up About 30 Times Today

[rufusmoo]

Even for me that'sa record.

I'm not sure what's going on at all. Most days I restrict my diet and then have tea with my husband which I get reid of.

Some days I binge loads of times.

I'm mega confused. I've been told I have bulimia but I know I've lost quite a lot of weight and gone from a size 12 to a 6/8.

I've told the CMHT but they say things like "Oh it'll sort itself out in time" will it really? Some day the only escape from this insiduous disease seems to be death.

Oh heck I just don'tknow. I don't know how to stop throwing up or calorie counting or food avoiding... any advice?

xx

[toaster]

Hey,

I know it sounds cliché but do you have things to keep you occupied? I found that when I started to do more things I had less time to obsess about food and my weight. Prior to that it just totally ruled me.

I'm not saying keeping busy has fixed my thought processes but it has certainly helped.

Take care,

Toast xx

[rufusmoo]

Hiya Toaster,

I'm not at work at the moment but I do lots in the day. It is hard trying not to obsess about food. I find the binging just happens, i'll have afew crunchy nut cornflakes then I'm devouring the whole box!

I think you're right. Keeping the mind active is key x

[ILostHer]

I think the CMHTT have been idiots, sorry to be so blunt by saying "It will sort itself out" if bulimia sorted itself out, we wouldn't get to the stage of throwing up everything we put in our mouth.

30 times is a huge amount and will be doing damage to your stomach, your teeth and organs. It's a violent action, which people tend to not realise and also don't realise just how dangerous bulimia is...which is why I am shocked at the response from your CMHT.

I stopped my bulimia (on and off since I was 19 - now 36) by letting the food be in my stomach for a minute longer, then 5, then 10, was hard at the start but I don't throw up any more, it's very rare for me to make myself sick nowadays and I understand how much of a habit it becomes. An addiction. It really is.

To be honest, something led me on to trying to stop it, and it was something unpleasant and scary, it scared me enough to wonder if I was actually going to die from doing it, so that is why I tried to leave the food in a long as possible.

Even if you can just leave your dinner in you. Just as a starting point, and even if it is for only 5 minutes, but next time try for 10 minutes. The food is less 'big' in your stomach after that amount of time and the need to get rid of it seems to diminish.

With the binging, can you binge on something that would not make you feel you had to throw it up? I still get the binging urges, but I eat a whole tin of Asparagus (already cooked) or half a jar of beetroot. I do that because although I can feel it I think to myself, it's healthy, it's good for your heart (the biggest muscle in your body, so therefore the first muscle affected by anorexia or bulimia) and they have next to no calories. Less guilt.

It may not be the way that professionals would teach, but when they are not helping, we have to come up with our own healthier ways of combating it.

I love not having bulimia now, I have the restriction ED and I have no idea how to stop that but being bulimia free is like being released from prison. I hated it, I hated the fact that I had no control over keeping anything inside of me, and the actual action of doing it was exhausting as you well know.

Ask your CMHT for a second opinion, that is a huge amount of weight loss from bulimia (It actually doesn't get rid of all of the calories so the days you are not eating apart from dinner are restrictive ed and to have both is hell) so you need specialist ED help.

xx

[rufusmoo]

Thanks for your reply.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks the CMHT are just brushing this under the carpet and just don't want the hastle of referring me on I think.

I feel let down by them because it took me a very long time to admit I had a problem and when I did they just didn't care at all.

I think thaT is good advice to try and keep food in for a bit longer and extend this. I will certainly try this out. Yeh I will think of something I can binge on and not throw up- even tea or water or yogurt might work. Thanks for being understanding. I was beginning to think I was wrong to ask for help and winging time waster which is what CMHT have made me feel like.

You're right 30 times in a day is a lot. When someone else says that it kinda makes it real for me!

Thanks for your support xx

[Linda Watson]

Hi,

You are crazy about eating so consider taking lot of fruits and vegetables and juices that doesn't matter how much you eat mostly prefer taking fresh juices .