What I Have Found

[Ubix]

I write this to give encouragement. Maybe in times of need (if capable in that moment) also for the long journey we are all on.

It's not ment to be self promoting. I hope it would rather be seen as an understanding that we all share.

27 years it has taken to get to this point and I can honestly say it been a roller coaster. Family, Nurses, Doctors, Phychiatrists, Phychologists, Police, Ambulance, Neighbours, deserve a big thankyou from me, and only now can I see it.

In short: First diagnosis was depression, first medication cipramill, hedonistic way of life prevailed. Second diagnosis was manic depression, medication change to prothiadine 75 then to the wonder drug Prozac. On this for years still no improvement. Hospitals. Secure wards,A&E. Change to medication yet again, to Stelazine and when in a real bad way Thioridazine. A few freinds along the way not with us any more. So my ingratitude towards the Mental Heath Teams was one of not the best. Plus I was getting no answers for myself. The the diagnosis of Boarderine Personality Disorder was given. The origonaly gace me clopixal which apparently was (in their view) to stop a trigger, ANGER!!

This did no use and I was told there were no medications for BPD. It is treated by therapy. I went to psychology which did give me more insight to my problems, yet for me (for others it does work) it was putting the lid on a pressure cooker. Hospitals, doctors secure units again. New diagnosis Bi-polar Disorder with crossover BPD, medication Depakote.

They found it, after 27 years of what you and I know of living with illness. They got it. For me life is new. And that is the point of this. HOLD ON when you are in the thick of it, SCREAM and SHOUT do the best you can, until they catch up with you and give you what you need. For some it's quick for others....who knows. But you and they can get there in the end