Do You Think That Friends And Family Get Sick Of Hearing U Are In Crisis?

[Christine001]

i do so I dont tell them. but I also expect they will see through me and know stress = self destruct.. actually I onlt have 2 friends and no family support.

I really think they only want to hear I am ok and coping like a normal person.So I dont want to be a burden well more a nuisance to them,

Then again I also think that gps and psychiatrists think I am able to cope to and my work colleagues think I am sciving. its not so easy being a so called high functioning iborderline. means I do have control in acting out but less desire to control sh.

dont know does anyone else manage their behaviour to family and friends?

.

[mindpox]

Completely! I live hundreds of miles away from family and friends and NEVER tell them what's going on...there have been times I've slept in caves or on the streets, got up, walked five miles to work, shaved in the toilets then sat at my desk with a calm smile for eight hours with nobody being any the wiser...I'll be one of those people who when I do finally throw myself off a cliff, as is almost inevitable, people will say "We never had a clue - he seemed fine." :-)

But, to quote from the really rather wonderful Game of Thrones: "There is only one god - and his name is death. And there is only one thing we say to death - not today."

:-)

[Ollieclews]

I often feel the same Christine and agree with you. They seem to care when im ok and struggling but run when im in crisis so I just get left on my own

xxx

[greenthing]

((((hugs)))) my birth family have long since given up on me...

[Christine001]

its a bit of both for me I dont tell or ask for help they dont ask if I need any. still think its mainly how well they think I am. maybe I am well and just being dramatic. oh dear confusion again.

[toaster]

I know that I lost a lot of people in my life through my constant crises. People just didn't know what to do with me, they didn't know how to help, they didn't know what to say.

I don't blame them now. At the time, I did. I was in a constant cycle of being in crisis because I felt (note the word 'felt') abandoned, but then people would get fed up with me and actually 'abandon' me...

I'm not saying this is the same for you or that you are the same as I was.

So in answer to your question, yes, I do think people can fed up. I know how fed up of me I was so it would only be right that other people were fed up of me as well.

I hope you have enough support xx

[Christine001]

hi toaster

yes I have had the same thing in past. Mostly now I am afraid of loosing my friends so thats why I dont tell them about me, means I dont have any support.

[lonelyheartemma]

mine dont want to know

[sundries]

You have really grown since you first came on here toaster. It is really motivating :)

[toaster]

I was once told by an old social worker I kept in touch with 'the past is the past, leave it there , you 'should' be over it by now' she later apologised for saying this. I was so angry and upset and deeply hurt by what she said but I think this is a good example of just how much I pushed even the most patient person. I had pushed her to her limit with my constant phone calls of misery, suicidal talk, no happiness...everything was just depressing. Actually, when I think back to that time in my life when I was constantly calling her I feel ashamed. It's like looking back on a different person.

I guess even 'well' people have their limits. It would be nice to think that our family/friends would always be around in the emotional sense but I guess they have to look after themselves as well. That's why we go to therapists

sundries thank you for saying such a nice thing xx

[Pickle59]

Am thinking about this,

Yes in short, (I get sick and tired of being in despair, let alone what it must feel like for others, friends, family, significant others to see and experience it).

Having said this though,it must be despairing not to know how to help despite all their best efforts. I have driven away most people I care about, and who care and have cared about me, with my pain.

Very few people I have met or know like to see people in despair, because even though it is excruciating for us/me, I think it can be excruciatingly painful to watch and be a part of.

I'd just like to add a disclaimer here though, on behalf of some of the people in my life who have tried to help, in their way, over the years.

They just want to see me happier and enjoying life.

I'd like that too, believe me.

None of them however has ever suggested seeking medical help.

I am now seeking this, and much to my surprise, having expected condemnation, & ach, you don't need that, you just need to sort yourself out, there seems to be a lot more emotional support, from people I least expected, i.e family.

I am still waiting to hear from someone, after referral from doc. They said it would be a few days.

Thanks for posting about this Toaster. I felt inspired to respond.