Flattening Emotions With Medication

[toaster]

There is a lot of debate regarding this subject. Some people choose not to take medication because it blocks emotions - I can get on board with that and I understand the thinking

The thing is, what is actually wrong with flattening or blocking out emotions? I mean, I wouldn't want to be in a zombie state but if I can function on a day to day basis whilst still feeling a level of emotion (i.e. enjoying interaction with others) then that isn't a problem is it?

People say it is ok to feel emotions, that that's what it is to be human. I know I am human.

I guess the point of this post is that lately my moods have become a bit more erratic and I think this is because I halved my seroquel. I halved it because I believed it was making me constantly tired. This was a new thing. However, I have found out I may have a vitamin b12 deficiency (awaiting blood tests) and halving the seroquel hasn't made me any less tired, just more moody! I want to up my seroquel again but it does have a sleepy effect that lasts into the next day when I first start taking it so it is a case of finding the right time (when I don't have to be up in the morning). The pros outweigh the cons - either be 'free' and feeling emotions without meds which leads to very distressing feelings and thoughts OR take meds, feel less, go about my business and be a normal functioning member of society.

I have a girl in my college class who goes to narcotics anon. They (NA) believe that 'we' should be 'free' of all drugs, including ones prescribed for mental/emotional health. I don't agree with this. Why feel an intense pain just to know that you are human when there is the option there to soften the pain?

What do other people think?

[detroitguy]

Hi toaster - in my case I have very gradually reduced my haldol from 2mg/day to 1mg/day over a period of a year. I was on the 2mg dosage for 25 years! At first I found it a bit disconcerting that my emotions were stronger - both negative and positive. But I have felt that it was worth it in that I am more in touch with my emotions and am learning new ways on how to handle the negative ones and able to enjoy the positive ones more. I was not growing much any more personally because my emotions on 2mg were too blunted but now on lower medication I am hopeful that I can continue making personal progress. I also have more energy now. I am hoping in the future that I can handle a further reduction. Of course everyone is different so what works for me may not work for someone else. - Detroitguy.

[Pickle59]

Hi Toaster, Just wanted to put my pennies worth here about N/A basic text re medical and health issues. It is worth a read, and anyone in A/A or N/A who has been around a while and receiving good sponsorship will know this basic text. It would be damn irresponsible of any member of either fellowship to deny a fellow member the opportunity to receive medical attention when there is a genuine medical condition that will not be managed solely by a twelfth step programme. It is the motives for taking drugs that always need to be looked at closely and honestly, when in recovery from addiction.

Medication in Recovery

''Narcotics Anonymous as a whole has no opinion on outside issues, including health issues. We are concerned with recovery from the disease of addiction. Although our recovery is complicated when we experience disease or injury, this does not have to lead us away from recovery.

The ultimate responsibility for making medical decisions rests with each individual. If we choose to accept it, however, a great deal of support is available to help us make these decisions. For instance, we can practice the Twelve Steps, maintain frequent contact with our sponsor, write about our feelings and motives, and share at meetings. With the support of others in Narcotics Anonymous, we find the strength we need to make healthy decisions for our own recovery.

The use of medication in recovery is often controversial. It's good to remember that the Basic Text recommends consulting professionals concerning our medical problems. When we remember that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using, we as members can set aside our judgment of others. Clean time is an issue for each of us to resolve individually with our sponsor and our Higher Power. An attitude of judgment on our part could cause great harm to another addict.

"I was one person who believed that, if you used anything for any reason, it was considered a relapse. Until I was faced with this situation in my own recovery, it didn't dawn on me that I might have to take medication. I can remember going to meetings and having people ask me if I'd relapsed, and telling me to pick up a white chip. This really hurt and scared me. I felt rejected and very alone because no one seemed to understand that I needed strength and hope."

When someone we know has been taking prescribed medication, we can help them by offering support and by sharing our experience, strength and hope. We fulfill our primary purpose by supporting another addict's recovery with an attitude of care, love, and concern.

The power of the disease of addiction cannot be underestimated. Regardless of how we work our mental and spiritual program of recovery, we may react to medication like we did when using drugs. It doesn't matter what the medication is or whether it was our drug of choice. Any medication may unleash the craving and the compulsion that haunted us while we were using. Our experience has shown that no drugs are risk-free for us.

"My body does not know the difference between taking needed pain medication and abusing drugs. Today, I have to get honest with myself and turn to my Higher Power for help. Each time pain medication is prescribed for me, I explore my motives for taking it. Am I taking medication to get high? Am I imagining or magnifying this pain? Is this medication necessary right now? If it is necessary, a network of safeguards can be set up among my sponsor, recovering friends, family and medical personnel so that I'm not in control of the medication. I would probably be the worst person to regulate or control the taking of any drug."

Just as we may view illness as an opportunity to justify using drugs, we also may go to the other extreme. Sometimes we stubbornly insist that we know better than the doctor, refuse all medications and neglect problems that require attention. Ignoring health problems because of fear or pride may, in fact, make matters worse for us.

"When I was about a year and a half clean, I suffered my first bout of a recurrent illness. My sponsor told me not to be a martyr and go to my doctor, who knows that I am a recovering addict. I didn't listen, and as a result I was hospitalized for five days, in traction and on strong medication. If I had followed my sponsor's suggestion, I would have been on a milder medication for a much shorter period of time."

Over-the-counter drugs can also pose a very real threat to us. Even though some over-the-counter drugs ar marked "non-narcotic" they may be mood altering. It is important that we consider their use as carefully as the use of any other medication. Any drug, prescription of non-prescription, has the potential to be abused.

Sometimes, alternative methods of treatment can be used. Many of these methods require little or no medication or the use of medication that doesn't alter our moods or our thinking. This is another way in which we can exercise responsibility for our recovery, even during illness. Some NA members share that they have felt spiritually strengthened by exploring and utilizing these alternatives.

By living the Narcotics Anonymous program, we find a measure of consistency in our lives. We can also apply the program to help us find balance when we are ill. Sharing openly with our doctor and our sponsor, relying on a Higher Power, and practicing the Twelve Steps are ways to help each individual find a balance that is comfortable and appropriate.''

Let me know what you think Toaster & hope it helps to clarify N/A's principles.

[toaster]

thanks for the replies guys - i will come back later and read them properly , have to get ready for college now xx

[Benway]

Hi Toaster,

I have an on/ off relationship with small doses of prescribed seroquel.

When it was prescribed at 50mg some months ago, i thought , ok time to be responsible and take this stuff, might actually help me. Tbh, there was a big placebo effect that my pdoc was 'helping' me. I left his office feeling like i had 'scored' something...

When i was taking 50mg, i could not function as a mum or housefrau. So i halved, and halved again, so for 2 months approx i took 12.5mg. But i noticed during that time, altho relatively stable, I did not feel joy or happiness very much, if at all.

Maybe because it made me want to isolate, maybe because it does something chemical to the brain. Who knows!

I have stopped taking it althogether and feel ok, def better than i did on it.

As for na/aa, I have no time for it. Too intense and clappy happy for me. No offense. xx am

[toaster]

I tried AA but i have no time for it again - like you badkitty too happy clappy for me!

My friend is coming off all medication - methodone but also meds prescribed by her doctor. She seems to have the impression that this is what she should do to live a 'free' life.

I will come back this again, I am in college right now and need to go and pack up to go home (yay!).

xx

[Dibley]

II'm supposed to take 150mg of Sertraline, I take them on and off, no good I know.

I'm a very sensitive person, I cry at everything, happy things, sad things, nearly every programme I watch, I cry. Taking Sertraline stops all that, I find it impossible to have emotions. Which I guess should be good. I don't want to think, and Sertraline works, it makes me so numb, I don't know who I am. But not being able to feel, makes me feel like a heartless person, I'm not heartless and I don't want to feel heartless.

Good post, not that I've answered it very well, but yea, I understand what you are saying. xx

[Lily-Bee]

I think the flattening of emotions depends for starters on the med you take anti ds dont usually flatten emotions. Anti ps can,mostly on higher doseses but if youre very psychotic you simply might need them,a low dose can be good when youre more stable. I am on a low dose and my emotions are still intense. But I can function better.

Tranqelizers can make you flat too and in my opinion should be taken in crisis situations only anyway as theyre addictive.

I think its important to search for the right meds for you with a good psych and the lowest possible dose.

And of course pro's and con's need to be considered.

It pains me that a lot of people that could benefit so much from meds refuse them. Ive learned for me without meds I am most unstable,if I decided to go without meds I wouldnt be able to work here,Id have issues with friends,my marriage would be under pressure and I myself would be in misery.

I actually feel more myself with meds,the repetitive thoughts gone etc the real me can come out not held down by certain symptoms.

[Silverwolf]

For me I was on Olanzapine before, which after a while on them I noticed I was feeling numb on them which i didn't like, but i felt i still needed to have some kind of mood stabaliser to take off the tops and bottoms of my emotions.

Now i've been on Quetiapine for 2yrs and much prefer it to when i've not been on a mood stabaliser/AP.

To be honest I've had 3year gaps between being reffered back to MH services each time when i was just on ADs during the gaps but for me i feel having the AP keeps my moods within a much more managable range. Things can still get difficult but at least they help me to play more of a part in wider society. Yes I get tired with them, but then i plan the taking of them to reduce interference from that as much as possible, and accept what's left of the side effects as a necessary pain.

For me Quetiapine doesn't make me feel numb but makes intense emotions i feel as a normal range rather than an all encompassing body riot of feelings.

I guess like everything it's about getting the smallest amount that will do the trick in your own body, and finding the best med that suits you with side effects you are ok with.

For me i will take the meds as long as they help.

x

[toaster]

I really appreciate everyone replying and I WILL reply properly soon, I just...'cant'(?) atm o.O

Thank you though everyone xx

[Love&Me]

We are all different and tablets are not a quick fix as most of us here already know. I've taken valium for over twenty years and I know that shocks some people. When I was prescribed it, it was thought of as a wonder drug, now there are all kind of reasons why you shouldn't take it. For me it changed my life so I don't see how anyone can say it was wrong for me.

[Myla]

Personally I like to feel emotion until such point that feeling emotion is either too tiring, emotionally draining, life threatening, counter-productive etc at which point taking medications is welcomed! I find that anti-depressants flatten my emotion and whilst it's good for a break there comes a point (usually when I've been back to functioning for a while) where I think it would be nice to feel something. Same with tranquilisers really. I like to try for as long as possible without using them but will if things get too intolerable. I guess it's very much a personal choice. Isn't the NA belief just that - a belief? I'd find it incredible (and downright dangerous) if it was seriously encouraging members to be free from all prescribed drugs!!

[bena.baby]

Like Myla, ADs totally flatten my emotions, I don't feel happy or excited at all when I'm on them. Although I'm struggling to feel much at the moment anyway.

And I don't EVER feel like having sex, and I really don't like that.

There's nothing wrong with taking drugs, I don't think. I mean, whatever helps you, right?