How Would You Get Over This? (Good News, But Unneeded Stress!)

[bpdgirl]

I don't know how to get over the stress I felt about a misdiagnosis. My former diagnosis now remains but I feel like everyone has ignored this and am really perplexed as to why it was even made given my Consultant Psychiatrist wouldn't have changed my diagnosis or medication. There are so many things that I just feel unable to get over, and don't even think are irrational. I think most importantly I feel very angry and don't know where to focus all this anger. I feel like throwing things across the room or breaking things, but I also feel too depressed to clean it all up afterwards. I don't feel safe around people at the moment

How's it all going for everyone else? x

[rufusmoo]

Hey BPD girl,

Sympathies to you! It must be have a misdiagnosis and change is hard for BPD folk anyway. I know controlling feelings of anger is MEGA MEGA hard as I try to overcome it every day.

It sounds a bit like this is going over and over in your head and becoming obsessive and destructive.

The first thing is that people make mistakes and are not perfect and now you know what your true diagnosis is which is a positive!

Perhaps the best thing to stop the turmoil going on in your head is to talk to your mental health team and be honest and they could clear things up for you. My therapist has taught me a lot and DBT teaches us about problem solving skills. For you contacting the team could be a big step forwards and could settle your thoughts. If you don't you run the risk of anger growing and growing and growing and you might end up shouting and throwing stuff in front of your M.H team (not that I'm saying you would but I did this a few times when I bottled up and got angry).

I had to ring my CPN the other day over something because I knew I would scream, shout and swear the next time I saw her because I was SOOOO angry and bless my soul we sorted it out over the phone and I was honest about what I felt. This stopped my anger and bitterness straight away and the same thing could happen for you!

Anyway I know I'm waffling... I wanted to share a few things with you that I have learnt from my therapist who is amazing.

1. When you feel the stress/dispair rising rate it on a scale of 1-10. 10 is bad and 1 is great. It sounds simple but what this does is changes your anger feelings into thoughts which are less damaging and it makes them feel less real.

2. The next thing to you is a calming down excersise-you have to be strong to do this but it can work with practice!

Think of a place that calms you down and picture the place. You might even remember sounds as well which is great. Take a deep breath in and on the out breath say/ whisper/in your head or out aloud the word CALM. At the same time tap you thumbs and ring fingers together (a bit like a buddhist type thing). Do this for as long as you need and you will fnd your thoughts and feelings come away. I suppose it's a distraction technique!

You will find your mind calms and slows down and you will be in a calmer place.

3. My therapist talks about NOT wasting emotional energy on situations like this. You can either get wound up, stressed and upset or think... well it's not actually worth it and I will not destroy my CALM over this and it isn't that important but being calm and relaxed is.

Positive affirmations help as well:

I am managing my feelings well

I learn from all situations and it helps me to grow

I am calm and can overcome obstacles

I hope you don't just think I'm waffling. Since I've been seeing my therapist I've improved no end. I've gone from been on a psych ward and taking overdoses, cutting my wrists etc to changing the way I think and I just know others can as well so I wanted to share this with you as I TOTALLY understand the anger, stress and confusement and I am working everyday to overcome it.

Best wishes to you and calm that raging storm

xxx Mandy xx