What To Write

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I'm going to phone my GP tomorrow morning to see if I can get an appointment, as I need to pick up the new prescription... I don't know whether to write him an angry note telling him how let down I feel that there's no support in the meantime and how I think the psychiatrist was useless or whether to go in nicey nice and say I need some more support and that I don't like having to use the phone to ring the CAT team when I feel crap, cos I can't ring people. :-/ Should I go on in the note about stuff which I don't think the psych discussed?

I don't have a psych or any kind of CPN or other type of help, cos apparently I don't have a mental illness (apparently dysmythia or whatever it is with moderate depression isn't one) and that I feel that it is major just because I'm battling on with work doing crap at it, and I'd say its really affecting my relationship and etc, although I was off today. I've quit jobs in the past and have been off during school and then been reduced to a minimised timetable with mornings and half days off etc... I just can see my GP monthly. I think because I've opened up to my partner, it means I've opened up that box of horrible feelings and behaviours of jealousy and random thoughts which disrupt it all.

I've been powering on and trying hard to keep working at things and not quit cause that's what they tell you to do, and now I'm running out of steam, and just want to leave everything, so because I've not quit, because my parents have always tried to hide what actually was going on in my head that I repress and hide it all and try probably more than most to not let it show in 'real life'. I did well in exams etc, no idea how. I guess I'm a high functioning whatever :-( I wish they wouldn't hold that against me when I need help.

I feel like because of feeling socially anxious and other types of fears that I wouldn't dare erupt when I'm angry or do anything which could get me in trouble or show how I feel towards the psych or anyone unless it was hidden in writing... I just feel like cos there's so much going on that it hides some stuff... :-( Urgh I dunno.

Maybe it is all in my head and I'm making something out of nothing.