Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hi, Smallsteps here (previously FML lol). Didnt know where else to post this other than introductions, given I have been away for a bit. For those who have joined since I was last on, I left here after a huge disagreement with what people were saying. People have a right to their opinions, and so do I, so I would like to politely but assertively say to those who triggered me: what you said still triggers me to this day, I dont know what you think you were trying to achieve, but believe me, it had the opposite effect. For that reason I cant, and wont forgive you (and I am a naturally forgiving person, takes a lot for me to never forgive someone or other people). Moving swiftly on, life has been a struggle since Christmas, and it's still not better yet. I was signed off sick from my work placement, and my physical health hasnt been too great. Stuck at home again today trying to keep warm and well. Dont know what's made me come back, or how long I will stay, but learnt to distance myself a bit from traumatic issues. Have been doing a bit of DBT- the opposite to the emotion exercises. I see there is a new warning system on here, never seen that before, so dont know when it was first introduced. I got 3 warnings. Part of me thinks, that really sucks, and did others who attacked me also get warnings... Anyway, would be nice to see a few familiar faces again on here who werent involved in the disagreement... guess I have nothing more to say other than hi how are you all? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fanta Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hello SmallSteps Welcome back to the forums. I am not sure that if we have met but I look forward in getting to know you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 hey smallsteps hun, sorry to hear your not doing too good but nice to see you again xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hi Growly Cat I came off here in January after posting something which seemingly upset a few folk regarding a situation I was in. However, I would just like to point out if anyone may be reading this that have we all not said things in the heat of the moment, in pure anger? Do we not all want to be loved dearly? Is jealousy not a normal human emotion (even in the likes of Shakesperes Othello!). I saw a similar posting by a member, and fully understand where they were coming from, and it seemed that a few members turned on them for what they said. Anger is a powerful human emotion, and whilst I may not have done myself justice in saying what I did, does not make me a bad person! I guess I am a bit like Marmite- you will either love me or hate me lol! However, I will always try and help someone out in a crisis or who is struggling :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hey Pandora, good to see you again too Think I have a urine infection at the moment, they keep reoccuring so need to go back to the GP and find out what has been happening. Had to ring in sick for placement again today, they must think I am a hypochondriac or something.... :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 oh dear that doesnt sound pleasant. could it be cystitis? my sister had this and it kept coming back and she was put on antibiotics xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imdebbiem Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hi, I was on the forum at the time you left but I very rarely posted...i vaguely remember what kicked off. Welcome back, I hope you enjoy using the forum again. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ollieclews Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Welcome back! Great to see you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hi Smallsteps, If you still have issues with certain members and want them to know please PM them,we dont allow disputes to be taken to the board like this. I will leave your posts here but ask that you refrain from dredging up old arguments with members here. If you have questions about your warning points feel free to PM me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol-E Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hi Smallsteps :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hi everyone, and thanks for the welcome. Lily- it was not my intention at all for "dredging up old arguments", although I think its important now that I have had some time away to point my point across in a fair but firm manner. I obviously dont intend to start fighting, just I believe that I have had some time to reflect upon this. I also believe the members who I got into a dispute with wont bother me now and vice versa- alot has been said and although I feel triggered deep down by it am happy to stay out of the way of said members and continue to help those in need. I will PM you regarding the warning posts, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fanta Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hi Growly Cat I came off here in January after posting something which seemingly upset a few folk regarding a situation I was in. However, I would just like to point out if anyone may be reading this that have we all not said things in the heat of the moment, in pure anger? Do we not all want to be loved dearly? Is jealousy not a normal human emotion (even in the likes of Shakesperes Othello!). I saw a similar posting by a member, and fully understand where they were coming from, and it seemed that a few members turned on them for what they said. Anger is a powerful human emotion, and whilst I may not have done myself justice in saying what I did, does not make me a bad person! I guess I am a bit like Marmite- you will either love me or hate me lol! However, I will always try and help someone out in a crisis or who is struggling Hello again SmallSteps, Of cause we have all said stuff in anger, I am sure no one holds a grudge here against you Again welcome back xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Awh thank you Growly Cat. Although I dont want to lose track of thought, I think there are some things we say which some people just cant get over. I practised DBT over January and even my Mum says now that I can still get caught up in the emotion; I regularly post things in the heat of the moment on the likes of Facebook... its almost like a venting thing. Plus, if someone says something triggering about me or a situation, I find that I can flare up as it may bring back either painful emotions or I just cant cope Either way, I regularly look at what people post on the Yahoo DBT skills group and save useful emails e.g. cheerleading statements into the DBT folder I made. Loving that kitty avatar btw x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Pandora- regarding the ill health, it could be cystitis. I took some Canesten Oasis sachets (they were disgusting though!) and it eased it, but then came back. I explained to my tutor today about how I will start drinking more fluids to prevent this from happening again and staying well (both physically and mentally) on my placement, as the bad news is that my sick time will be noted for future employers, and I am already having to make up 5 extra weeks from the time I have had off over 3 years! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 You don't know me but i just wanted to say hi and that i know how you feel. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hi Eagleheart, many thanks. Scottish Highlands, hey, I feel at home already xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagleheart Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 It's living here that keeps me sane (debateable!!!). Hope you will find this place ok this time. It's awful when you feel you've been personally attacked.XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Lovely to see you again sweets xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Lol, I'm further down south now at uni, go home occasionally for holidays Yeah I hope so too. As I said earlier, I think me and the others who I clashed with are just keeping out of each others way. If I saw a posting from them which they were clearly distressed about and needed help, I think I would still help and try and be kind, because even though I clashed with a few people when I first joined here, I could see some were in real distress in the crisis posts and I dont like to see people generally suffering. I dont think it was a personal attack, but it certainly did feel like that initially. I think it was a clash of opinions. I said something which alot of people were shocked and horrified about. However, years ago when I attended a theraputic community, there was one member who came out with some very shocking things. Many members of the community shuned him as it affected their own views, but I knew he said the things because he was hurting, in pain and angry. In that way, I became friends with him and offered to talk to him. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 You too Cats and I hope you are feeling ok xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenthing Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 hello smallsteps i'm quite new here so we have not met before. nice that you feel able to come back. there's some really wonderful people here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Doh, I have run out of positive quota for the day! I havent seen you before greenthing, you must have joined after I left! I knew I was going to come back at some point, but at the time I was so angry with what happened and I think everyone was a bit shocked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenthing Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 ahhhh the delights of 'so angry'... i spent the whole of my therapy session this afternoon ranting at my poor therapist about being angry - trouble is I got angry :duh the rest is as they say history. bollocks - we were supposed to be doing exposure therapy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted May 1, 2012 Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 For those who have joined since I was last on, I left here after a huge disagreement with what people were saying. People have a right to their opinions, and so do I, so I would like to politely but assertively say to those who triggered me: what you said still triggers me to this day, I dont know what you think you were trying to achieve, but believe me, it had the opposite effect. For that reason I cant, and wont forgive you (and I am a naturally forgiving person, takes a lot for me to never forgive someone or other people). I was really disappointed to read this. I don't know (and don't want to know) what went on in the past with you. However... surely we are here to support each other and to keep holding on to grudges like this is not health, and I really don't enjoy reading about this sort of thing, it makes me feel anxious on here when I should feel safe. We all make mistakes, maybe the people who upset you have a different view on the situation now? Moving swiftly on, life has been a struggle since Christmas, and it's still not better yet. I was signed off sick from my work placement, and my physical health hasnt been too great. Stuck at home again today trying to keep warm and well. Dont know what's made me come back, or how long I will stay, but learnt to distance myself a bit from traumatic issues. Have been doing a bit of DBT- the opposite to the emotion exercises. I see there is a new warning system on here, never seen that before, so dont know when it was first introduced. I got 3 warnings. Part of me thinks, that really sucks, and did others who attacked me also get warnings... Anyway, would be nice to see a few familiar faces again on here who werent involved in the disagreement... guess I have nothing more to say other than hi how are you all? How did you get on with the DBT ? I've never done it myself but I've heard a lot of good about it. Sorry to hear that your physical health has been poor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 Hello Data, I agree about the grudges thing, and believe me, I am normally first to forgive. The ONLY time I would not is if someone or something left me so triggered and then they continued to trigger me about it that it made me anxious for days on end and no apology was given. I think in this instance, it is better that me and the members I clashed with just stay out of the way, no atmosphere, just get on with things. I am genuinely sorry if this makes you anxious, that was not intended. As for others viewing the situation differently from now on, perhaps, but then there were a few strong views aired from all parties and this got out of control. The DBT went not too bad. I regularly do the opposite to emotion and distress tolerance exercises. I practised the mindfulness alot in January; I even did it for my practical exam in uni, though I failed that because I was so focused on one thing and forgot to integrate the other skills I had with it! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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