Fluffy White Bread

[Saharah Blue]

I've been staying with my mom for the last several weeks and will continue to for the summer. I have noticed all my food issues are pushing forward there, I find myself really frustrated and angry about food. It's like my childhood food all over again, just overly processed, flavorless food, with little to no nutritional value. Its especially the last part that is driving me crazy.

The part I want to write about though is my inability to take responsibility for feeding myself. This is an issue I have never been able to resolve as an adult. For the most part, living on my own it doesn't matter. If I want to snack on carrot sticks and a box of crackers all day or blow my money and treat myself to prawns and butter whimsically, no big deal.

I've been snacking on all sorts of crap, I would normally never consider at my mom's without offering any contribution in return. But, I can't seem to deal with the anger and the feelings of being controlled when I try to look at my food issues. I am so frustrated that nothing around me has proper nutritional content, but I feel unable to cope with buying more food and adding it to the already stressful amount that is all over the place. (Another issue being around too much food feels overwhelming).

*Maybe, this is just a vent, because I don't know what I am trying to get at in myself.

[bena.baby]

Sorry you're having a hard time at your mum's.

I guess it's a bit of a generational thing - my parents' house is exactly the same. I'm not a super-healthy eater, but I try to eat well and I very rarely eat processed food (except for this delicious and crappy cereal I'm addicted to.) If I'm at my parents, it's endless jars of salty gloop, frozen stuff in breadcrumbs and biscuits by the ton. How my family are not fat, I don't know. My dad has had 3 minor heart attacks though, and I find it terrifying that he continues to drink nothing but coke and eats at least a bag of crisps a day. I find it even scarier that my mum doesn't care enough to make healthy meals for him.

Honestly I don't have any food issues but it really frustrates me if I can't eat well. If you don't eat well, you can't feel well.

Maybe a solution could be to offer to cook a meal, something nice and healthy, where you use up all the ingredients in the meal so there are no leftovers. Then you might not feel so stressed out by the overwhelming amount of food.

[Saharah Blue]

Well, I have been making food for her and the grandkids to use up stuff. But I don't want to touch the stuff I make, which also leaves me tired angry about it. I think there is just too much food around and it is stressing me out. I don't know, I can't seem to label my emotions when it come to feeling and food.

[Saharah Blue]

I tried being more proactive and found in myself to buy 3lbs of salad. I'll see if that helps me feel a little more in control.

[maddy harper]

i have a love h8 relationship with food . Most of the time i h8 it but sometimes i love it, then the gilt starts...

[Saharah Blue]

The salad helped

Although, I don't don't think I have the skill to just buy and prepare food in a responsible adult way, just adding to the fridge in a very small and cheap way is making me feel a little better. Like the food situation has a sense of balance and more order to it. I think I will try buying loaf of whole grain bread next. See if I can work up to it slowly without triggering myself.