5headh Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Just wondered how many people, particulary those suffering with bpd/eupd work, especially full time? I am currently on job seekers, however have been offered a job at McDonalds full time starting asap... I accepted the job, now HATE the idea of it, its nothing to do with it being McDonalds, I just do NOT feel I could cope with full time work, especially shift work, I hate the idea of being trapped, of the commitment and the pressure. My past 4 jobs (2 other McDonalds stores and 2 care homes) all of which I either got sacked from or left suddenly, were due to my non attendance, breakdowns at work, or running away mid way through shifts. I find it hard enough as it is, getting a referance due to this, I dont want to start at this McDonalds (the last one left in my area) do exactly the same and end up when (if) I feel ready to go back to work I have nowhere to go? Is any of this making sense, or am I talking sh!t? I tried to explain to my parents and the only reply I got was 'Well if you dont take this job, NEVER expect money from us, I will cancel your bike insurance and your not coming on the family holiday' Fabulous :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fjobling Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 i'm self-employed for exactly the reasons you described. ive found it hard to stick to anything for years, although im just at the end of a college course, first thing ive completed for aaaages. Are there any hobbies you enjoy that you could turn into cash? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 I work 9-5 Mon-Fri, which is stressful, and I'm quite money focused at present as I'm not earning much, so I took up a part time job, which is 2 hours a week for minimum wage, and I do voluntary work for a few hours a week... I guess if I'm not busy, and being useful then I've failed at life and I'm on my way down... I need it for stability, and so that I have responsibilities and commitments, without them I think I'd lose track of how to live... Think it runs in the family, feeling like shit bit still hanging on to a crazy riding horse as it gallops off - stressful lives but keep on going otherwise I won't know how to get back on the horse when it runs off type of thing... same reason for getting married later this year, and buying a house last year (mortgage = :-( )... doing the 'normal' things so I feel like my life has the potential to be normal, even though its nuts... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5headh Posted May 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Dont get me wrong I HAVE to be doing things, Im not one to sit around and expect people to pay for me, for the past 4 months I volunteered full time at the dog kennels, but I knew if I was having a bad day or needed to escape it was up to ME if I went... I help me friend with her dog walking business (see the theme here?) but thats not enough to live off :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fjobling Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 i know what you mean AppleCrumble, i've got a list of to-dos so i have stability and direction or i might not get out of bed at all nearly everyday! but jobs seem to be a hard one for me, i get fed up really quickly- it doesn't help that i'm not a great people-person. what is it that you do if you don't mind me asking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Ah okay... yeah it sounds good to be able to have that flexibility... :-) Volunteer work is still working and doing good, and helping the world go round. :-) Don't mean to sound negative about not working^ It's like a personal family type thing that we do... my parents are very self-conscious about what others thing of you... do you know that quote from Prozac Nation - about her mother not allowing her to go completely insane... it's kind of like that :-) Any other ideas about what you could do? I work in a lab, which is with very driven people, and things not working as they should, lots of disappointments and work for things that don't work... basically found out this last week that since feb my work has been pointless, and I need to write an essay about it lol! and redo it all :-( So there are a lot of very driven people around me, who are strong people and who can cope with it all. I find it difficult. This last week I've been sitting at my desk thinking I should really be working and continuing with my experiments, but I don't have the mental energy or motivation to get going :-( So hard, cos I don't think they'll understand, they are nice people but just not weak like me.... plus there's a stupid idiot at work who really talks down to the younger ones there, and is hard to me and another worker there, and I get upset by him, everyone else they just stick their heads up and carry on, or talk back to him, but I'm not strong enough :-( Sooo exhausted... going to try to remember to bring more coffee and caffeine pills to help me be a bit more awake and lively when I'm there I think... xxx xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5headh Posted May 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 I dont have a clue :/ Any idea of being trapped in work completely freaks me out!! I wanted to go to college to do animal welfare but my family said it is too expensive, so through that idea out. I dont see the psych til the next (and last) time for 8 weeks, so i dont really know who to go to for help/support if you get what i mean :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morethanme Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 hey i never realised that my hoping from one job to another for years was down to bpd. i could never settle always bored really quickly. had to leave cos i didnt like ppl getting too close either. but niw im older ive settled a bit now i work for family but im still bored lol so im gonna try to startvworking self employed once i got my qualifications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5headh Posted May 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 hey i never realised that my hoping from one job to another for years was down to bpd. i could never settle always bored really quickly. had to leave cos i didnt like ppl getting too close either. but niw im older ive settled a bit now i work for family but im still bored lol so im gonna try to startvworking self employed once i got my qualifications. Thansk for the reply I sit and think every so often 'am i just lazy'? is me not sticking to jobs and 'skiving' alot, is it me just being lazy or is it down to the bpd. :/ I cant help but think its me being lazy and not knowing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fjobling Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 ha! i only laugh because that is how i describe myself "lazy" but i know its not true because when something interests me i stick at it wholeheartedly. can i ask you something?... on here do you ever feel like you're only talking about yourself and people might get fed up, e.g. i did this, or i felt like that- i hope i dont come across as only caring about myself :S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 ha! i only laugh because that is how i describe myself "lazy" but i know its not true because when something interests me i stick at it wholeheartedly. can i ask you something?... on here do you ever feel like you're only talking about yourself and people might get fed up, e.g. i did this, or i felt like that- i hope i dont come across as only caring about myself :S TOtally do the same^ I don't know if it's a ADHD trait - I seem to be quite inattentive in most things unless I'm 100% intereted, like mental health stuff Im dead intereted in, but everything else, not... so cant stick at it... when i was younger i was v hyperactive, then highschool onwards i was more inattentive Oh and yeah, I'm crap i just talk about myself all the time... I always think whenever it says last post by AppleCrumble, everyone will just skip the topic xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fjobling Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 ha! nah, you've always got something valuable to say AppleCrumble x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bena.baby Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 I used to be the same, couldn't stick with a job, if I didn't feel good, I just didn't go in and the idea of having to stay in all day freaked me the hell out. I've been working full time for 18 months now (sometimes had to shift to part time because there wasn't enough work for me) and I've only had about 5 days off sick. Basically it takes a lot of practice and getting used to, but at the end of the day, it's been good for me. Last night I had a fight with my boyfriend and I was crying til 2 in the morning. 2 years ago, I'd have taken today off for sure. But now it's so ingrained in me to get up and go to work that I just do it. For the first 10 or so minutes I feel like shit, and after that I feel fine. Maybe it helps that I teach adults and normally we get into an interesting discussion and I am distracted (on the flipside, it's hard to put on a happy face for them if I'm feeling really bad, but I don't have much choice, so I have to.) 9 times out of 10, I come home in a better mood than I left. I know that obviously that this wouldn't be the case for everyone - not everyone can cope with work and that is also fine, but I think it's something you have to try as hard as you can to get into. It's not really healthy to stay at home all day, I really think it can hinder your recovery. Obviously if you're really sick, it's impossible but at some point I personally needed to get out and try to get my life going again. This is not a slating of anyone who can't work, I've been there myself many times. But for me, work personally helps me a lot, even if I hate it sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasmineRose Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 I work 28 hours a week, in the public sector, and have done for nearly a decade now. Before that I was a teacher [not for me] for nearly as long. I have reasonable adjustments in place, and very supportive management, right through to senior management. I have depression and sub threshold personality disorder, plus trauma related issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenthing Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 i work full time. it helps me because i'm lucky enough to be good at something i love. or at least i was... i don't know how much longer i'm going to keep going... keep making stupid mistakes so might have to pack it in. never been good at everything in any job i've ever had... but somehow i always manage to be exceptionally good at enough of it to survive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emobarbie Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 I have never had a job, apart from voluntary work a while back. I would love to have something to do when get up in the morning. Am on ESA. I did go on JSA when left school, but they were pretty much unable to help me. Would be interesting at some point if I could get into some care and or support role. Next task for me Is qualifactions. Skipped school so much am lacking. Think will try an OU course and see how it goes. Been told can get on a course for free. E.B ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5headh Posted May 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Im currently on jsa but keep missing payments due to not being able to face the job centre :/ im stuck lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow girl Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Like a few others I am self employed so I can be flexible to fit round my moods annd stuff. It has been good for me although since funding got harder to come by the pressure of finding paid / funding for projects has got too much and I'm packing it in. I'e got a job as a healthcare assistant on the bank register. This means I can still pick and choose my hours - or even have a week or two without working if I need it, but I am not responsible for everyone and everything. I'm hoping this will help me on my way to recovery. Could you ask MacDonalds if you might work part time instead of full time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 I've always worked, until I were made redundant for 2 years. I was always full time, but now I am part time in a beauty/physiotherapy salon. It was the first job I was offered in 2 years, so had to take it. The people are 'pleasant' and it's an easy job. I would prefer to not be such in the public eye, as I don't like people, but a job is a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 30 hrs a week in a kitchen for someone that knows all about bpd and understands if i need time off- having said that in 18mths of being there ive had 3 days off ill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5headh Posted May 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 They have employed me as full time and its a full time position only Even the thought of starting there is scaring me!! I also have to contend with my emet, so if i feel slightly sick or know someone that is ill OI get scared to leave the house :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annielou89 Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 i'm self employed for the reasons mentioned earlier in the post, but am on permitted work hours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuck-My-Life Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 I am a full time student at uni, but I also work in the holidays and occasionally at weekends. My course is particularly tough. I need to stay well as I am doing health care, and have a responsibility to look after others who are unwell. I am currently out on placement, and sadly got a cause for concern due to my frequent sickness, but also my competence. I was signed off sick for two weeks at the start of it, then got frequent UTIs and migranes due to a low immune system. I am trying so hard to pass this placement. My classmates dont really understand my mental ill health; they just think I am putting it on, and I should "get myself together" etc. I have to have a specialised learning plan, which means I get an automatic extension for things like essays and extra time for exams. This really helps, and I am due to be getting a mental health tutor for my final year to help me with my moods but also with my coursework. The job I am in is also in the healthcare sector, although the good news is it is agency work, so I can take what work I like. If I dont feel well, then I wont take on the shift, but I always make sure that I have enough money to live off and work hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhantomX13 Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Recently worked for the Army now discharged, currently looking for a job frantically before i have any more relapses. Its especially hard for me to get one though cause i dont know how long i can throw on that "mask" for anymore. : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abster Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 I work full time and find it really hard, but need the money. Just about hanging on without going off sick but don't know how much longer I am able to do this for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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