Dibley Posted June 9, 2012 Report Share Posted June 9, 2012 I've decided to only lose weight, proper weight, and I will keep going until he loves me. He must want me thin, because he doesn't love me yet, so I will change. I promise I will change. I now have the willpower. Yesterday I was 8 stone 3.6 I ate 600 calories, and I biked and skipped and lost 1845 calories. This morning, I was 8 stone 1.8. Absolutely amazing, so pleased with myself. I've exercised today but only 1500. But I haven't eaten yet, and I'm not even hungry, I'm so proud of myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anabas Posted June 9, 2012 Report Share Posted June 9, 2012 ((Headhurts)) He DOES love you hun. From reading your past posts he does, he just doesn't verbalise it. Please be kind to yourself. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted June 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2012 I just want to be thin, now I know I can do it, I will do it. Im not thin looking, I don't look my weight, I look like I'm about 10 stone or something. Thanks Anabas though, I won't go silly, I'll only eat if I'm hungry, I won't starve myself. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anabas Posted June 9, 2012 Report Share Posted June 9, 2012 I'm glad to hear that hun. Can you set a realistic weight and stick to that so that you don't go too thin? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted June 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2012 I'm aiming for 8 stone, or was, I would like to possibly be 7 stone 10, and then that way if I have a bad day, I will still be around 8 stone. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morethanme Posted June 10, 2012 Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 just b careful i know wat doing this can lead to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted June 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2012 Put the weight back on today, but I had carbs last night. I've exercised for a few hours today and lost 1885 calories. I've eaten 352 so far and just having weight watchers soup tonight. I just want to be loved, I try everything else, but nothing works. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junior8 Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 "I've decided to only lose weight, proper weight, and I will keep going until he loves me. He must want me thin, because he doesn't love me yet, so I will change. I promise I will change. I now have the willpower." I'm going to start by saying that you shouldn't have to change for anyone! You should be loved whatever weight/size you are! If he doesn't then he's not worth you at all! (I say this though, but I know if the shoe was on the other foot I'd be exactly the same as you!) Don't let it spiral out of control, set your goal and stick to it, realise if you've gone too far. Look after yourself x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nama Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 I have to say, I didnt understand everyone with ED, but I do understand a bit more now, and I have a bit more apreciation for everyone that has an ED. you have suffered badly..and my heart goes out to you! unfortunately I dont know enuff to comment except to say..as someone who suffers from BPD, I hope you get the help that you deserve..here is asong for you.. with you all the way!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelofmusique Posted August 11, 2012 Report Share Posted August 11, 2012 You sound a lot like me about a year ago and that scares me. I was 10 stone however and my goal was 9, then 9 1/2, then 8, then 8 1/2, then 7 stone 10 etc. Everyone kept mentioning how much weight I had lost and it felt great. I thought it would change my life. Finally I'd be thin and pretty and happy and everybody would accept me and like me more. Of course what I learned later and know now is this is all lies. It wasn't until I was under 7 stone that I realised the grief and worry I was causing my family. I felt tired and irritable and withdrawn, but worst of all I never felt thin enough and I don't think I ever will. For the sake of my health and my family I increased my weight to 7 stone 4 and I eat quite a lot more than I once believed I could without putting on weight. I now am beginning to get my menstrual cycle back but it's still irregular and my current aim to normalise as this tells me I'm still not right. I'm probably still underweight and people tell me I would look so much better if I put on a few more pounds but my perception is so twisted I just can't see it. Men especially tell me they prefer a more curvaceous body. My weight is a constant nagging worry in my brain though and it makes me miserable. I'm thinner now yes, but am I happier? No. Am I more popular? Again no. You can diet all you like, but to be honest I don't think you'll achieve what you truly want out of life from it. I think your self-esteem is what needs to be changed, not your weight. I doubt you'll ever be happy with yourself otherwise no matter how thin you appear in real life. That's what holds me back anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted August 11, 2012 Report Share Posted August 11, 2012 Just don't forget how bad he felt the last time he thought you were taking it too far, it was emotional more than he could bear to watch. Sending love you way and like a mom reminding you to be moderate and talk to him when it seem like it is turning emotional for him. * not read all replies, but just wanted to add that, I do care about you hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted August 11, 2012 Report Share Posted August 11, 2012 (((DiamondHeart))) Its good to see you around.xx Just want to say that I had an obsession with losing weight and being thin but I want to echo what angelofmusique says, I don't think it will bring about what you think it will. I remember in my early teens, right up till I was about 25 having terrible problems with self image, weight and the like, and I remember someone saying to me, '' Hey, youve lost a lot of weight. What they also said is that I lost a lot of my personality too, they said I was much more cheerful when I was bigger even though I felt fat, which I wasn't really. That has stuck with me, and does have a ring of truth around it, cos trying to change the way we look is actually saying we don't like ourselves and if only..............................It is more to do with self esteem and self worth more than anything else and all the emotional stuff that goes with it. I think when we work on this side of ourselves, we then become more accepting of who we are, thick or thin, warts and all.xxx Lovely to see you.x Pickle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted August 11, 2012 Report Share Posted August 11, 2012 That guy loves you just the way you are - please don't torture yourself - you have been together for nearly five years and he must love you so much xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted August 11, 2012 Report Share Posted August 11, 2012 This is not about Paul, Diamond Heart. Its not about anyone else. Its about your own image of yourself. When you look in a mirror, its like a normal* person looking in a circus mirror that makes them look fat. By losing weight, you won't affect whether other people love you. It might make you feel better, mentally, in some ways, because you might feel in control. But then if you get too thin or your diet lacks sufficient vitamins and minerals, there can be physical health implications. If you are dieting, are you taking a mutlivitamin supplement? *By this I just mean someone without an eating disorder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted August 11, 2012 Report Share Posted August 11, 2012 Hi I don't know your relationship details, but from what you have said it sounds like you are hoping this weightloss will stir something in him. Alls I can say is becareful healthwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2012 This is not about Paul, Diamond Heart. Its not about anyone else. Its about your own image of yourself. When you look in a mirror, its like a normal* person looking in a circus mirror that makes them look fat. By losing weight, you won't affect whether other people love you. It might make you feel better, mentally, in some ways, because you might feel in control. But then if you get too thin or your diet lacks sufficient vitamins and minerals, there can be physical health implications. If you are dieting, are you taking a mutlivitamin supplement? *By this I just mean someone without an eating disorder. I only take omega3, but I take that more for my head, I think it helps me mentally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 12, 2012 Sahara, Cats and Pickle, what lovely replies, I don't think I've ever had such nicer replies. I don't exercise as much as I was doing, it upset Paul too much and his reaction was heartbreaking. I give myself a limit and I do that, and he's ok with it. I do tend to do a bit more when I'm here on my own, I shouldn't do but I have put weight on recently and it does make me feel better to do it. We've been out on the bikes together this morning, and I always lose more calories that way, because I have to pedal so fast to keep up with him, I'm only 5'2. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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