Relief.

[bluemac]

Hi all,

I've not really shared my reasons for coming to join this forum so far, however I can give a very brief explanation (mentioning no names or specifics) that I have split up with my partner of 4 years, and it's been a complete mess that nearly brought me to the brink several times.

Throughout the process I've been very much left out of any decision making or discussion, the break up has been taking place around me and I've not been able to communicate with her for fear of harassment charges etc. It would appear that the reasons for her leaving me are due to either my being a terrible person, or symptoms of some personality disorder (we're not yet sure which). Either way, whatever I've done has caused her to gradually resent me more and more to the point that she's now interested in self preservation and not in my best interests. Not that I blame her, I can see that I've probably been intolerable despite my feeling that I am essentially a decent person who has been dealt a particularly crappy hand in recent times. I've been camped out at my Mum's on the couch for a week now, and have been doing quite well on Citalopram to get me through the day, and Zopiclone to get me through the night. The only times I've really faltered have been when she's prodded a sharp stick into a sore spot, which has happened several times whether she meant it or I just perceived it that way.

However I can report today following a lengthy conversation with a very nice and helpful police officer that I finally have somebody fighting in my corner to make sure that I get fair treatment, and suddenly I feel a *huge* burden lifted, and am already feeling better. Hopefully this marks the beginning of a new chapter for me, and a relatively easy diagnosis and road to recovery (fingers crossed) once I meet with the mental health team on Friday.

Sorry this is kind of a moot topic, I don't suppose anyone will really have anything to say. I just needed to share as for the first time in weeks I've felt a wave of actual happiness and relief that hasn't been underpinned by an impending sense of doom and hopelessness.

Thanks for reading!

Matt. :)

[AppleCrumble]

Hey,

Thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear about the breakup, had it been coming for a while? What sort of problems were you having in your relationship? I have some problems in mine, mainly due to me :-( I like having someone, but don't think I'm the right person to be with him. I'm too much of a mess. Let me know how it goes on Friday. WHat sort of help was the police person offering? Glad some of the hopelessness has gone away. How long have you been on the citalopram and the zopiclone for? xx

[bluemac]

Apparently she'd been thinking on it for a while, I had no idea. Things weren't great between us, my business was getting me stressed and depressed really, in as much as I couldn't always produce enough work/money to sustain us. Apparently I had been speaking down to her, expecting her to do everything around the house, and just generally being temperamental. I hated being left on my own unnecessarily, and she wanted freedom to 'come and go as she pleased'. Not really conducive to a working relationship.

*Maybe trigger*

My partner got the police involved. Apparently my stating that I was thinking of suicide was misconstrued as harassment to stop her from leaving me, when in fact I just told her because it was fact. As such everything I did subsequently, such as text her to try and get some answers, was considered harassment. The police officer last night explained that this is considered a 'course of conduct' and that now I've got the police involved to mediate, I've clearly broken that 'course of conduct'. Had I known I'd have been opening the door to all of this, I'd have just told her to leave and save us all the hassle.

I've been on the Citalopram and Zopiclone since Monday. I was shocked to find that I did get almost instant results from the Citalopram, as many have stated around the Internet that it can take several weeks to take full effect. I don't know whether it's a placebo effect, but something's definitely making me feel more positive - probably helped by being surrounded by family rather than sitting on my own indefinitely.

[bluemac]

Turns out my relief was premature. Following my conversation with the police officer last night I went back to the house to pick up my telescope and one of my guitars, and lo they (ex + her family) had been there again messing around with stuff. Lifted the tumble dryer, which at very best belonged to both of us, definitely not to one or the other, and dumped a vacuum bag of pillows/duvets on the living room floor, which they then saw fit to stab open with a toothpick.

I've been all day waiting for the police officer to get back to me, and really nothing he's said has helped. He didn't bring up the toothpick thing, even though it's clearly evidence that they *are* being vindictive, not me being paranoid, and apparently the dryer was lifted before he spoke to them last night and got an agreement in place to discuss items of joint custody before doing anything about them.

I've just had a terrible day, unable to shift the mood in spite of the fact that really those two things are only pretty minor. I'm just fed up of being taken advantage of, while the police seem to assume the worst of me and the best of her at every opportunity.

Blah.

[lonelyheartemma]

I'm sorry its all going wrong again, its horrible when you finally start to feel positive about something and then this happens.

I hope the police are more encouraging next time you speak to them. It must be a relief in a way that its not just you being paranoid but its not nice knowing people want to hurt you. I wouldnt say whats happening is especially minor but even 'minor' things can be a problem, they still have an effect on you.

its also not fun when people assume your the bad guy. do the police understand anything about personality disorders? are you having mh support as well? (I'm sorry, all i really know about you is that you were kind enough to post in one of my threads)

[Jess1090]

Either symptoms of a personality disorder or a terrible person? I am sure you don't mean to be insulting but to me, someone with a personality disorder that statement takes my breathe away.

I am sorry your relationship is ending and in such a messy way, incredibly stressful and why the need to be vindictive damaging property is childish. I hope you can get some emotional distance from this person and things can be sorted out quickly and fairly. Hugs.