Tan19 Posted July 5, 2012 Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 Last night I had reached absolute breaking point... I'd never in my life felt as bad as I did last night I had 100 percent decided I was going to end my life I was staring out of my window and I felt complete numbness.. It was the first time I honestly didn't feel a thing no fear no anything I had decided Then all of a sudden my head started hurting SO much It was as if someone had crushed my head together It was excruciatingly bad My chest was beating fast and I felt ready to pass out I had to go and lie down And ended up falling asleep This morning I woke up and the urge to die had sort of drifted away I still felt upset but I wasn't thinking about that anymore I decided I need help right now I started searching around on the net for counselling services I can't wait 6 months for the gp to help me And I phoned up a place called connexions They told me I can get help there And it would only take 2 weeks after my assessment next week to start getting a weekly counselling session I am so happy I feel like maybe this is the point where things can turn around for me? Maybe I had to go through the hell of last night to actually realise I needed to push myself today Do you think counselling works? Is it helpful? I know it's not completely connected to my bpd but I can talk about my feelings and my mum I'm hoping it's enough to help me become ok until my therapy for bpd starts in a few months I'm feeling hopeful for once I still have a lot of bad thoughts going around in my head But they are trying to ruin this feeling And I won't let it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepsimeg Posted July 5, 2012 Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 wow sometumes we need to get to a point so low that it makes us see that we need to change. something was telling u and im glad u listened. i really hope this is a turning point for u. good luck emo xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natfredricks Posted July 5, 2012 Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 I am so happy for you, dear Tanny! You are doing very well! They say counselling may help a lot, too! I am really proud of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deedeanjackharri Posted July 5, 2012 Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 so pleased for you that you have reached a point where you can engage in some therapy, you should find it useful i did until my therapist left am now on the waiting list to see the new therapist nhave been on the waiting list for 2 years but i cant afford to pay for therapy. Good luck and i hope it works for you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted July 5, 2012 Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 Counselling can make a big difference. I am pleased that you have taken this step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tan19 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 Thankyou all for being so nice and supportive I really hope it will help too Im sort of placing alot of my hopes on it but will take it one step at a time xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natfredricks Posted July 5, 2012 Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 You are my dear, dear Tan! I amsure you can do it yourself and that you will have a wondeful life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tan19 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 Thank you its so nice for someone to have that much faith in me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morethanme Posted July 6, 2012 Report Share Posted July 6, 2012 im so pleased u r going for councelling. good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted July 6, 2012 Report Share Posted July 6, 2012 ((((Tan)))) I am so sorry that you went through that last night but so happy that things have turned around and you don't want to let go of your life anymore. I think you've done the right thing by not waiting the 6 months for your GP to help you and that you will be getting help so much sooner. I really hope it helps you xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanielawson86@hotmail.co.uk Posted July 6, 2012 Report Share Posted July 6, 2012 Well done you! I'm so pleased you decided to sleep off that horrible horrible feeling of dispair and turned that into empowerment! I have been counselling before and it's really refreshing to speak to someone who is unbiased and I hope you get a good one! So proud of you hun! Just keep taking those baby steps, they are leading you in the right direction! Xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanielawson86@hotmail.co.uk Posted July 6, 2012 Report Share Posted July 6, 2012 Well done you! I'm so pleased you decided to sleep off that horrible horrible feeling of dispair and turned that into empowerment! I have been counselling before and it's really refreshing to speak to someone who is unbiased and I hope you get a good one! So proud of you hun! Just keep taking those baby steps, they are leading you in the right direction! Xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted July 6, 2012 Report Share Posted July 6, 2012 good one tan. Its good to see your making a plan of action. Hope the theropy works for u. Xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tan19 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2012 Thankyou all so much! And sorry I haven't been online for a while x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted July 6, 2012 Report Share Posted July 6, 2012 Sometimes (((Tan))) I really do believe that we have to hit a real rock bottom like no other time, to do something different to bring about change. I really admire how you are able to put your experiences and feelings down so clearly in black and white. I'm sorry for how desperate you were feeling last night, but I am really glad that from this that you have been proactive and life saving and found some counselling prior to your waiting for GP therapy.xx Sounds very good news and very much a turning point.xx Huge hug for you.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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