Yesterday Was Weird.

[AdaLovelace]

None of you will know this but I only had 1 real job in my life which I walked out of due to not getting along with the other staff (i'm very socially phobic so when someone says something derogatory to me I sort of die inside and then feel completely useless and less than human, so I tend to walk away and not look back)

The same thing happened at 2 other jobs (well sorta, I got sack on my first days, but that was for standing up for myself)

Well all I've wanted to do was work, any job, but due to having no GCSE's or Qualifications (I dropped out of high school and college because I got bullied...this is what caused my social phobia in the first place) No employer would give me the time of day, I must have gone to 100 interviews in the last 7 years but not once single job or even trial came up.

Well Thursday I applied for a part time job, the hours were perfect (as they fit in perfectly with my daughters nursery hours) and to my surprise they told me to go in at 9:30 yesterday morning for an interview after the interview they told me they needed someone to start monday so would be making the decision that afternoon and would call me to let me know the outcome.

I panicked all morning and afternoon thinking omg my qualifications is blank, so is my references ect ect....No fecking way will they give me the time of day.

And at 2pm, They phoned me up...to tell me I got one of the jobs....so I'm starting on Tuesday

I am now officially a receptionist for a car parts/repair shop....I just really hope I don't make the same mistakes I have in the past, I'ma be 24 tomorrow, I'm a big girl I NEED to get the hell over this stupid phobia and feeling of being worthless.

Then my mum sent my sister over for me and said we'd to get in a taxi and go to her house (she'd pay) Which is odd as that morning she had not a penny to her name (has been the case for a while, none of us had been as skint as we were at this time).

We got there to find that the electricity had gone, it had gone in the entire area because of the severe weather.

Then she told us our aunt and uncle had been over and given her share of the money my grandma left to be shared out between them all.

She got about £600 so for the first time, since my dad died (in 2006) my mum seemed happy.

It's my birthday tomorrow, and my mum just randomly gave me £40 for it, I felt bad actually accepting it, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.

So ya I'm likely going to spend it on clothes for work (even though I'd rather spend it on beer lol but atm work is probably more important, because this job could well be the first step to a decent career, even if I don't have this job for a long time, or don't progress, It's still references for future work).

Yesterday was just really strange lol but good.

[greenthing]

((((((((hugs)))))))) - what a day!!

You will be in my thoughts and prayers on Tuesday. You CAN do it!

[Pickle59]

Wow, what a day and congratulations on your new job & I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday.xxxx

[Data]

Congratulations on getting a new job!

I am sorry to hear that you have a social phobia. In the long run I hope you manage to work through that problem. But in the short term all that counts is how you come across to other people. Don't worry about how you feel inside, just try to look professional and you will be fine.

And perhaps one day you will progress to being a mathematician like Countess Ada Lovelace .