WhisperingPines Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Hello everyone, I'm a 24 yr old male, long term BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) sufferer, and more recently depression and panic disorder sufferer. The development of the latter two in the last year or so turned what had already been a grueling battle already into an actual living nightmare. An intolerable reality. Recently I spiraled into the lowest and darkest place I've ever been. I had become suicidal and roughly a month ago I found myself in a crisis centre, in utter despair and exhaustion, unable to do it alone anymore. I had been scared of meds and distrusting of therapists for a long time but at that point it was no longer a matter of choice anymore. I needed help, and fast. That of die. Dying being a non-option given I have loved ones I could never do that too. In the time since things have subsided, but only a little. I'm still raw and tender but most days are manageable, by my standards (miserable by others'). I'm on anti-anxiety medication now, on a take-as-needed basis, but no long term treatment has been arranged yet. My moods are incredibly unstable and disordered eating and and a worsening of addiction problems have also come to feature into my mental illness. Bdd has rendered me practically reclusive and I depend heavily on avoidance just to get by without having daily breakdowns. I've isolated myself from my most of my family and friends, and even though I am started to mend some of those connections again, I still feel very alone. I guess I'm in a bit of a lull at the moment hence why I'm here and sane enough to reach out and connect. I still have hope despite all the darkness. Deep, deep within me is a a passionate and undying love of life. Occasionally and miraculously I'll forget all my woes and be treated to a rare glimpse at what life should be...a beautiful and free life. I treasure those glimpses, and they are, along with the love and support of a few select people around me are all that keep me going. I look forward to meeting you all. I've been looking for a friendly online community for some time now. For some reason, I don't know why, I've found other forums to be hostile and unwelcoming and a little bit...crazy at times. All I want is to connect and talk mental health matters with nice people, to give and get support. So I hope this place is it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsmother21 Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Hi there WhisperingPines and welcome This is a very supportive and friendly site and I really hope it helps you. (Love your username by the way ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillv Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Welcome, Whispering Pines. You have indeed found a friendly and supportive site. I hope we manage to give you some comfort in your struggles.Look forward to seeing you around. Kalico xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Hey, Nice to meet you, thanks for the intro. Hope you find some support here :-) xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhisperingPines Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Thanks so much for the warm welcomes you guys. Much appreciated! Hope youre all having a great day :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 welcome hun, hope you find this place usefull. alot of lovely people here xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Welcome (((WhisperingPines))). This really is a very supportive site with lots of lovely people.x I hope you will connect with lots of them and find tremendous support and understanding.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhisperingPines Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Thanks Pickle59, I was just having a look through some of the threads where members reach out for advice and support and yes, it certaintly does seem like you guys deliver loads of it. I compare this with other forums I've visited and wow, such a breath of fresh air. I don't want to sound critical of other sites, and I believe there's the room for healthy adult debate on such sites, but the amount of extremism on some of them i found really off-putting. You guys seem awesome though Is the site based in the UK? I'm from Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natfredricks Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 I love your name,WhisperingPines, very romantic...Thank you for being with us. Where in Australia are you from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhisperingPines Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Thanks natfredricks, catsmother21 mentioned that too, glad you like it It's inspired by my favorite place I use to go to when I was younger and needed a peaceful place to be with my thoughts and connect with nature. It was a small brook near my where I use to live with pine trees growing on it's banks and on some days the sound of the breeze passing through the needles would create this sweetly melodic whispering 'tree song'. Ever since I've associated that with calm and serenity. And I live in Sydney. Surprisingly for a big city I don't have to go far to find some quiet green space so I guess I'm lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natfredricks Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 I was in Sydney. Amazing you can find woods there. Have you ever tried writing a novel? You describe nature really beautifully... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhisperingPines Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Yeah Sydney is pretty much encircled my national parks and reserves, and even within the basin/urban area there are pockets of remnant bushland for me to find and explore. It's great. I need to be near nature or I start to feel sortof suffocated. And thanks for your kind words..about my words, lol. As for writing a novel, haha, I would love to be able to but words kind of scare me and when I start writing something I quicklyget overwhelmed and lost in competing ideas. I don't know, maybe I'm being negative and should give it more of a go, even if it's just for my own reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 lovely name we are uk based but there are people from 'everywhere' here xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhisperingPines Posted July 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2012 Cheers walker ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaches167 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Hey WhisperingPines (beautiful) your post really spoke to me. It made me smile when you said you still have hope and that deep down you have a passionate love for life, I could have written those words myself. I love the world and I want to be free to explore it, but I think it's our society that makes coping with reality difficult. There are always others out there who can support and relate, and I think we are fortunate that we are able to connect so easily to so many similar people via forums such as these. I always think of how hard it must have been for people who suffered from depression or anxiety in the past when there was next to no support whatsoever, it's a horrible thought, but something for us to be hopeful about. You don't have to suffer alone I've also pretty much pushed all my family and friends away in recent years as well, because of social anxiety and depression. People don't realize how difficult it is to just accomplish "normal" day to day things, like going out with friends, phoning somebody etc. See you around, and I hope you gain plenty of support from this forum xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 you have struck gold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 welcome by the way :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvette Posted September 5, 2012 Report Share Posted September 5, 2012 Hi fab name! You certainly picked the right forum everyone is lovely here! I'm from scotland uk x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tan19 Posted September 5, 2012 Report Share Posted September 5, 2012 Welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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