Barebones Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 i hate this cycle, feel fat then i starve myself... cant seem to stop this one. i cant seem to beat the obsession of having to be a certain weight to be happy. ive had eating disorder since my teens, which after my 20s i stopped weighing myself because it was making me worse. so i was able to get out of that cycle but i cant stop this one.. i havent touched laxatives or made myself sick since my 20s but the thought is coming back strong.. i know i can starve myself to lose wieght and i lose weight quiet quickly but then i get nagged that i need to eat somthing so that starts of dam binge which can last for a few days, then after that i feel fat. a binge for me can be having lunch too really going on a binge.. dam this bugs me anyway sry i just needed to talk about this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 I have never had a eating disorder.... I do however eat loads of sugary stuff, esp if depressed or going through a bad time.... I am just fat, I hate it, silly I know, but sometimes I wish I could make myself sick or something so I could slim down... Spose I should count myself lucky for not having a eating disorder... but being fat is no fun! ( Raich, xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 19, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 i do understand raich, i hope you dont go down road of making yourself sick.. try to find good feeling inside yourself with who you are on in side and outside.. me i wish i could take my own advice, but as you know its easier to give advice than take it.. when i said about being a certain weight i would be happy im not sure what that is.. i wish i didnt exist and could hide being a bag of bones.. thats when im feeling really bad about myself. im trying to run away from looking anything like my parents .. this is me guessing in whats going on .. im still seeking ways of trying to over come this or get passed it.. sry hope im making sense im having a day of alot of thoughts and feelings and worries is coming out.. i hope i dont offend anyone in out spoken im being today..im in hyper mode in the brain.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted July 19, 2005 Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 I think its nice too see someone being out spoken... its how we all should be always, we would probably feel a lot better for it.... Is anyone ever happy with how they look ??? I haven't met anyone yet who is... I have even started making my own clothes so I don't have to go to fat girl shops. What makes me laugh is if we just all ate normal and health we would all feel a lot better!!! Raich, xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 19, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2005 yeah im sure your right raichs.. im sry your down with being the size you are.. me i see everyone happier and everyone thinner than me.. i know its my perception of things and its wrong .. but hey i will get this sorted after every other issues i have is dealt with .. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 20, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 well i guess im still feeling fat today, i only ate once yesterday.. not good enough this.. anyone else have probs with eating disorders? or self image? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 Yeah hon, I hate me, though when I'm being objective I know I'm not overweight. But it creeps up on me and I'll look in the mirror and hate what I see. So I can understand that. I did get very controlling over what I eat, but I never seem to want to eat much now anyway. I hope you manage to eat a bit more today, and keep chatting, if I'm not online during the day then I'll keep an eye out for your posts when I'm back tonight :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 20, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 thanks vick, i now know why im feeling like this.. dam periods no wonder i was binging over weekend .. grrrrrrr pmt, thought being me was a pain as it is, but pmt and being me is far worse.. oh god i love torture.. god does anyone else feel that they have split personality when they have there periods? lol i think im going to rename myself for these occasions. so just call me bloody bones for 3 days lol hey josh can i have two accounts one for the special occasion? and normal me? lol barebones bloodybones eww that would be fun.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddypotty Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 BB prior to period etc and sometimes even during it I am more likely to lose it,everything negative becomes magnified and its hard to find anything good at all,it does pass though,I know that counts for nothing when you are swamped with it but it does pass. Patricia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 Yes I had a pretty serious ED a few years back. I got to six and a half stone at my lowest, and a few years back I was as high as 11 stone. I am 5 foot 6. I am now 9 and a half . But!!! I want to be about 8 stone. Even though I know it is not healthy not for me cos of the amount of sport I do. I try very hard never to go back to the misery of anorexia again. But it is hard. Sometimes it helps to really control food. I don't know how it helps it just does.... :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 None of you guys no what it's like to be really at jeez. I'm fat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 Does anyone know how many stones in a pound? I'd really like to know what you guys weigh when you're talking about this stuff and I'd like to know how many stones I weigh. Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 I feel HUGE!! all the time, even though realistically I know that I am not. I mean 9 and a half stone (133 pounds) is not fat. But I feel it. Bloody ridiculous I know :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 20, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 14 pounds in a stone if i rember rightly i dont know my weight, i refuse to weigh myself.. guessing 8 and half. i go by what fat is on me.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 Sorry 14 pounds to 1 stone. Sorry :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 20, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 lol snap clair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 It actually really pisses me off though, that all these magazines like 'heat' and 'now' slag of Nicole Richie and linsey Lohan for being too thin. Why don't they just leave them alone? It's obvious there is a problem. It is so f***king rude to comment on people's weight all the time. And hurtful too. I used to get people saying to me all the time, ' oh my god you are sooooo thin? why don't you eat something?' very hurtful. I wouldn't walk up to some fat person and say 'oh my god you are sooooo fat, why don't you stop eating all the pies?' !!!!!! :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 20, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 your right there claire. i was watching yep rickie lake once again.. another chat show that pisses me off when watching these people lol but i just cant stop watching.. anyway it was about obese woman and showing off there body .. but anyway the point was .. there was this girl who had a comment right and she was really thin.. and rickie lake said to her what would you know you never been fat so you wouldnt know what its like! how the fuk would we not know what its like i mean just because we starve or have ED which we go to extreme to not exist thats why we starve outselves and we get judged all the time that we are thin its either yeah you need to eat a decent meal or its we are vain.. how many anorexics see themselves being buitifull and thin? we think we are fat and vain? where does vain or full of ourselves when we are near to dying from either no food or heart attack or body shuts down to think that we are perfect and we just love ourselves.. we are just like over weight people but on the opposite scale.... anyway rant over.. doh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 I am about 15 1/2 stone... no one says I look it, but thats cos I got huge tits, and people notice them more than my belly... and barebones, oh god, periods!! I am sure I have a hormone inbalance, it starts about 2 weeks before I come on and carries on till I stop, its torture!!! I turn into bitch from hell... one min I am really agressive and the next really depressed... Had tests for it, but the P can't find nothing wrong... Raich, xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 The truth is. For me anyway, If I can control my eating, all the rest of the crap in my head goes away. I don't know how it happens, it cures everything. one good thing about starvation is NO PERIODS and that is just peachy! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 20, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 yeah raich periods are a pain in the rear but pun not intended as its a pain in the front.. cackle cackle.. yep i understand the bitchy and all that stuff. im just like that all the time i think lol 15 stone aint that bad like you said its more your breast size i mean they must hold alot of your weight.. i mean say jordan and her great big zoinkers bet if she cut them off if she ever had a prob with weight i bet a third of her weight would come down from that alone with her falsies.. got her back must ache for the small frame she has.. me im big boned if ya get me well i think i am.. i dont have delicate ankles and legs like small framed woman.. dam it im rambling again... grrr sry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 I do have back problems also, I don't know the english of my size, but my cup is a G... I went and had special excersises for my back and it helped, but I do think about having the op to make them smaller... but hey, its my only asset so maybe I will keep them... Raich, xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 20, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 you keep em babes least they are real.. hope you didnt take offence to what i said about jordans ones as they are false... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 I NEVER take offence... I am very easy going... Raich, xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted July 20, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 its the place where you live raich had 2 mates from there and they were a laugh...still got one story in my mind by one he used to chase his wife with a dust buster lol kinky or what? lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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