Why Are Mental Health/psychiatrists So Mean And Manipulative

[AppleCrumble]

Saw the psychiatrist from the CMHT today for 90 mins. Filled in the personality disorder questionnaire which he said he'd look at later.

Oh we randomly started talking about serial killers, based on why was I doing what I was doing job wise and studying wise as I had said that my partner and I would make a good team due to one of us studying the body, and one studying the mind... don't really know why I said that... :/ He kept on going off on tangents talking about stuff.

Then he kind of asked about my growing up. What I was feeling etc, whether I thought any of it was to blame - I said I'd kind of worked through those issues of blaming my parents and I don't any more.

Can't remember what the subject was, but he was blatently trying to wind me up (which he admitted to later).... we were being philisophical about whether anyone was dead or alive, how we existed, whether we did.

I was saying that I just feel dead other than odd bits of anger. I don't feel sad, just empty.

I said about my lack of aims in life, or lack of anything. Haven't felt passionately about anything since I was kind of traumatised in my fighting for vegetarianism, and it kind of overcame me for a while, and I got ridiculously upset for a year or so trying to persuade people... I said that I couldn't handle the emotions that come with being around the animal suffering and people not caring about animals. I said the only thing I hadn't tried was hurting people who hurt animals, which is a violent and not very nice way... He wanted me to write down all the things I've tried to persuade people about animals for next time I'm in with him.

In the end I guess it'd none of my business what they do, as its up to them... which makes any aims in life pointless or unobtainable.

I said that I didn't know whether I'd be around to go to a next one, and he said I want a yes or no, not a maybe or an explanation, I said that it was an unanswerable question, as if I'm alive as my back up plan then I'd like to get better, even though I don't think it's possible, but at present I just want to and need to be dead. I've got an appointment for Monday at 10am, so we'll see :-(

He said that he thought they could help me by referring me to a psychotherapist - except they do an assessment, then there's a year long waiting list and then it might take a year or even longer... I can't wait a year or even longer, when it might not even work.

[Maddison]

What did you want?

[Data]

What did you want?

Good question.

At a risk of being rude, can I guess an answer? How about empathy and understanding?

[imdebbiem]

The thing about psychiatrists is that they have to probe and poke and push buttons a bit to get an accurate diagnosis and to know how best to treat each patient.

I've fallen out with 2 psychiatrists in the past cos of the way they pushed me into talking about things that reduced me to tears and I didn't like being them describing me as manipulative. But its accurate no matter how much it hurt me.

Its unfortunate that the waiting lists for psychotherapy are so long (i am in the same situation, waiting for treatment) cos that is when you can finally stop being assessed and start being treated.

Its Psychiatric Nurses I find who are generally the mean ones...especially the ones who work with in-patients.

[AppleCrumble]

I wanted someone to help me now, not to get me to try to hang on until what seems like eternity, until maybe I'll get some help... i don't know. It just feels like they think, well if we keep appointments far apart, and keep them hanging on until they die naturally, then they've done their job...

I know they have to poke and probe, I kind of expected him too, but urgh, I just didn't want him to be so flippant, uncaring, and like he didn't really believe what I was saying. Just want to kill myself, or a meat eater to prove my point that they should so something about me now :-( It is bloody urgent to me :-( Even if I'm not top of their list :-(

How long have you been waiting for DebbieM?

[imdebbiem]

You know I have said the same things about psychiatrists in the past...they don't care, their arrogant, they keep interupting me, keep probing into things until I am questioning myself. Oh yeah, psychiatrist's annoy me so much. But I guess they know best.

I have been waiting 7 months now and I haven't even received a screening appointment with the psychologist yet. They lie, they keep you hanging on, keep assessing you in the time you are waiting...regular GP appointments and meds have changed 4 times this year. xxx

[Maddison]

I've a patient and caring psychiatrist and I know hunni what you mean when you feel it is urgent. It takes some skill for a nurse or doctor to calm you and give you perspective, to soothe your hurt feelings.

[Fanta]

I have been seen by 3 different Pdocs and one of them was a little shit Lol I could not tolerate her and would often get angry at her, she would diagnose me with different things everytime I went to see her which used to frustrate me.

I now have a brilliant Pdoc he listens well and puts my needs first, He has a good reputation too and is well known within my area.xx

Maybe you could ask to be seen by a different one if you aren't happy.xx

[AppleCrumble]

I'll see how he goes. He seems to at least be better than the last one... well I've seen four now. One when I was 12 - didn't really diagnose anything to my knowledge, but probably said depression related stuff...; second one was a 1 hour one-off who said non-purge bulimia (disagree) and dysthymia with episodes of major depression... then 3rd one was via the crisis team last year, or earlier this year, cant remember... she was a bit like hmm personality thingys... (not really giving any details) and chronic depression and sent me to CBT.

Don't know what this one will say...I only seem to ever see them for a quick assessment :-( apart from the 1st CAMHS one...

Goodness that's rubbish Debbie :-( grhh... 7 months, urgh :/ any idea how far up the list you are?

I don't know what support CMHT is going to give me in the meantime. :-(

[imdebbiem]

No idea, i keep asking whenever i go to appointments...my GP just says 'its a shit system' and he sometimes gives me an appointment at end of surgery so he can talk to me for longer, he seems to think its going to be a long wait as well. xxx

[AppleCrumble]

Urgh that's so rubbish :-( Goodness... I really don't want to get thrown back into the sea (metaphorically) and have to swim around for bloomin' ages until I can get help :-(

[jenny1471]

Can you get some private counselling while you're waiting? I don't know whether that's a possibility.. There are lots of charities around too that offer counselling for one year at a reduced rate. Could be worth looking in to to help give you something to work with x

[aurorablues]

That's a good idea Jenny, perhaps something to look into Apple.

Near me there is a not for profit organisation that does counselling. You have trainees and actual registered therapists there who do work to gain experience or to volunteer in the community. The weekly fees there were based on income and were very small. Which went towards keeping the place running.

It really helped me whilst waiting for my therapy. It was like a transition really, therapy lite. Which kind of helped prepare me for DBT.

Aurora :)

[AppleCrumble]

I know it sounds weird, but I don't have 'issues' as such that I need to work through. I've worked through the issues I had with my upbringing and parents, and I'm at peace with all that. I don't blame them any more. I know on a practical level, I need to somehow change my behaviour and the way I treat my partner... but I don't think there are any of those types of issues to deal with.

It's more the whole emptiness feeling and point to life etc. Everyone feeling like robots and not real. No aims in life, even when I think hard, I can't think of anything I want. It feels like buying things or eating things, or having children or pets, it lasts a day or two, and then the emptiness returns. I'm forever trying to fill the emptiness, and it's got a bottomless pit as it becomes empty again :-(

Not sure how they can help this really :-/

Urgh, been reading up about narcissism... sounds like my behaviour, but not my thought patterns - I'm such a bitch :-( Maybe my parents were right :-/

Urgh I know I shouldn't read about stuff... but the symptoms listed here are so me :-/

http://www.minddisorders.com/Kau-Nu/Narcissistic-personality-disorder.html

[Maddison]

I am sure a therapist can help you with the feelings of emptiness and self hatred. You might think you've dealt with your past but I think perhaps you haven't and that is why you feel often desparate?

[Lily-Bee]

You say you wanted help now,I think he is trying to help,there are no quick fixes in mental health. Do this or take this and you'll feel all better.....if only!

Its a process and one you have to be involved in,you cant just sit back and go;ok fix me! Its a collaberation between you and the therapist and it takes time.

I think its worth it though,for me it has been,I truly feel better.

[Lily-Bee]

Also empathy is an important thing but more important is you getting to the root of your issues and dealing with them so you can have a better life.This is what psychotherapists etc do,they help you find the roots and how to heal.

I understand lots of people want love and care but love and care is a temp fix,the true fix is for you to be able to deal with your core issues.

[jenny1471]

I agree that unfortunately there are no quick fixes. I guess my main question is what you mean when you say you want 'help'.. what would help you? I hear that therapy isn't what you feel you want so do you mean medication? I'm not sure what else could be offered other than some sort of therapy and/or medication..

I hope your BBQ goes ok tonight x

[AppleCrumble]

Oh, I'm not sure what get rids of emptiness... the pointlessness feeling, the behaviour against my partner...I don't know what can help that - as it isn't due to any current issues with people in general. Like I don't feel hatred towards my upbringing and my parents... it's just a physical/mental combined deadness... I'm just an empty shell, with a colourful outside painted to make me look like everyone else who has aims and enjoyment from life.

BBQ/garden party thing was okay. Felt a bit anxious as I kept on thinking what if this was a plan to get me and my ex in the same room (as they knew her too) as she's lost lots of weight recently, and what if they just want to make a fool of me etc -but it was fine. I was able to do my usual pretend to be normal routine... so it went okay.

I would like to be admitted inpatient and have hard core get to the point therapy :-( rather than be on waiting lists for years then just weekly sessions - dragging it out for ages.... not gonna happen though lol. I know there are no quick fixes, but I guess they could deal with it quicker...

[jenny1471]

I'm glad that the BBQ wasn't too bad.. or at least you got through it anyway. Nice weather too.

I'm afraid inpatient treatment isn't all about therapy. In fact from what I hear (I've never been inpatient) there is little to do all day. There may be some activities but rarely any real structured daily therapy sessions. A friend who has just been inpatient for 8 months had weekly psychology sessions but apart from that it was just activities such as crafts.. the benefit though of course was that there were nurses there 24/7 should she want to talk but it wasn't structured therapy.

So yeah.. while I can relate to wanting to be sorted out quickly or even admitted I don't think it's a realistic way to get treated quickly. It's really crap huh x