Getting Mixed Messages

[Christine001]

I am sorry I have been off with some people recently I am struggling with something.

I finish my 1-1 therapy in a few weeks time and I am getting mixed messages of what is on offer after that, one week its certain the next week it isnt. I badly sh 2 weeks ago because I didnt know where I stand, my T knows this but did a very similar thing again. I dont understand he has never done anything like this before and I was stupid enough to actually trust him I feel pretty wretched.

the best course of action would be to talk to him again about this but instead I want to tell them where to shove their services.

Things calm down by thursday but I am pretty sick of it. So thats me totally fucked off and just wants the business over with. If I am so much hassle, oh high functioning and wont fit in with the other people in the therapy group then just tell me and I will get on with things on my own like I have done for all of my life.

[jenny1471]

Hi

I'm sorry this is happening Christine. It must be so difficult in itself for your one to one therapy to be ending, then all this other stuff on top and it's no wonder youre struggling. I'm sorry that your therapy is coming to an end in a one to one capacity. How do you feel about this? I know therapy can be very difficult but it can also be a lifeline which we miss terribly when it's over. I hope you are ok.

And then they are messing you around with regards future treatment too. Sounds like your therapist isn't sure himself what the plan is so is maybe giving you all these mixed messages while he and the team work it out, but that doesn't excuse the effect it has on you. I've heard several times this 'high functioning' thing and it does anger me. I too am considered high functioning because I work etc. but just because I work it doesn't mean I don't struggle. In my opinion you should be entitled to the same treatment services whether or not you work. But I guess they don't always see things the same as me!

You have a lot going on Christine so I really hope you'll take care of yourself and be compassionate with yourself for the situation that you are in. I am sorry that you felt the need to self harm due to the confusion and maybe anger that you turned towards yourself.. But I hope they will resolve this uncertainty for you soon so that you can, as you say, move on with your life either way.

I'm thinking of you Christine and hope things improve for you.

Jenny x

[Christine001]

my instinct tell me I should never have put myself in this situation and I should have learned by now.

now this has happened my connection is severed and I wont let them mess me about. Any other way of me being wowuld be me pretending to be responsible and an adult. when inside I am seething and wont trust them again. black or white, yes but thats me. I tried to work on me trust, feel connected and now I know I dont, black to white I see it, I just cant change the feeling so easily. ffels like I am in a game where I dont know the rules maybe he is trying to upset me?

if that makes any sense.

[bibiddi]

I relate to what you are saying. For me, it felt like my therapy was a security blanket, and then a new one was promised, which I needed, and then it was taken away, and then given back, and then taken away again.

I ended up having had my therapy, and I talked it through with them, and my fears and concerns. I now have a social worker,who I regularly see. They also explained the new thing they want me to go to should have started,but they dont have the finances, so it will start next year.

If possible, stick with the therapy,and talk it all through.You may not get the outcome that was offered, but it will help to be the responsible adult you aim for, and not just a pretend one.

[carlylight1]

(((christine)))xxx

[maddy harper]

huge hugs honey. Hope today is a better one for u. xxxx