Fanta Posted September 12, 2012 Report Share Posted September 12, 2012 I am thinking about walking away from the Mental health service, Yesterday I felt so disappointed in them, I asked for help and was refused, I honestly never ask them, I don't call them when in crisis I just keep it to myself, I asked my Pdoc would it be possible for a CPN? He said therapy is more suitable for me, FFS I was a state yesterday and have been for the past month or so I told him that I find it hard to pick up the phone or going to a&e when I am in crisis, He looked at me like I had 2 heads or something. I felt so angry at him and the mental health service, I don't know why I bother with them, So I am thinking about walking away from them, what do you think? x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyP Posted September 12, 2012 Report Share Posted September 12, 2012 have thought about doing so myself hun so many times. but honeslty hun, wouldnt it be worse? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted September 12, 2012 Report Share Posted September 12, 2012 The thing is, they don't run after you :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny1471 Posted September 12, 2012 Report Share Posted September 12, 2012 Hi I'm sorry that the CMHT are causing you more stress than good. I really hear that you wanted a CPN and I'm sorry that they didn't agree with this, although in a way I think it's good that you were offered therapy. At the end of the day its your decision whether you ent to engage in treatment with the CMHT and no one can force you (unless they are concerned for your mental health being at risk to yourself) so they would most probably not chase you, as apple says, should you walk away. So it's important to be really sure you nano to walk away before you do so.. Because if you walk and then change your mind it could be harder to get help the second time round. But it is your decision. It may be worth giving the therapy a go? But if it's causing you more stress than helping then that's to be taken in to consideration too. You could always get private therapy if you didn't want to use the NHS. Hope things go well for you whatever you choose X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piuma Posted September 12, 2012 Report Share Posted September 12, 2012 When he said therapy would be more suitable did he offer to sort that for you? Would you like therapy? Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life is sweet Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 I can see how you would feel discouraged in them, if they aren't there when you need it. Unfortunately, (I could be wrong) but i've heard a lot of times bpds are best staying in treatment. Even when it is difficult, or a pain. Staying with it is supposed to be the best in the long run. :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxsta Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 I too have thought of walking away from them many times for the same reasons. Personally I think you should go back to your pdoc and tell him exactly how his comments/looks have made you feel, read him your post even, I think it would help him reevaluate his approach and decision. Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fanta Posted September 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 Thanks Silverwolf I am in CBT atm but he said when I finish that he will sort more therapy for me but he didn't said what kind. I feel disappointed in him, Normally he is ok he is a well respected man with a good reputation, I just feel let down, I know therapy is supposed to be good for us with BPD or so I read somewhere, It is when I struggle at times, I can't pick up the phone I just thought a CPN might of been suitable, I could ask my GP for one I suppose as my T faxed him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvette Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 Don't walk away. You may feel let down by one but there are many others. I can't ask for help in crisis either. Can't even write on here. I have a phycologist who is amazing and she is amazing and liases with pdoc. I'm a great believer in writting things down as to how you feel. I don't have a cpn but have never asked for one. I have text family before when in crisis once and the cats team came to see me. As family did the phoning. Is there anyone you could text in crisis that could do the calls for you? Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natfredricks Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 CBT is not suitable for people with BPD. DBT was created specially for BPD sufferers. They gave you the wrong sort of therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imdebbiem Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 I've walked away from Mental health support before and later regretted that decision. Problem is if you do leave, and you then later decide you want their help you will have to deal with all the assessments and waiting lists all over again. Have a good think about it, before you make a decision xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aurorablues Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 CBT is not suitable for people with BPD. DBT was created specially for BPD sufferers. They gave you the wrong sort of therapy. DBT has CBT elements. CBT is suitable for everyone and is a good starting point whilst waiting for more intensive therapies. ----------------------------------------------------------- @ Growly - Don't walk away from services, you need them right now. When you next see your P-Doc, ask him what kind of therapy they are thinking about refering you to, if they haven't already. Two of the main ones will be DBT or Psychodynamic Psychotherapy (these are the ones i was offered). There are others though. Also, ask him will you be going straight to therapy after you finish CBT or will there be a long wait. If he says long wait, ask if you can have a Care Coordinator whilst you wait between therapies to help support you. These are somewhat different to CPN's and i know in my area there are more of them than CPN's at present. Aurora :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 dont walk away growly you will regret it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleCrumble Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 I hope they do sort the right sort of therapy for you.... they tend to start people off with CBT just to say, yeah we tried cheaper methods, but it did/didn't work, and then try other more complex sorts. It was my CBT person that referred me to the CMHT for different types of therapy which are yet to start... Don't give up on the CMHT, what else is there? xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 Oh the times I have wanted to walked away from Mh help and have too. But even when you feel they are not helping and even when they are literally not helping somehow stay in touch. xx Its hard they are getting tighter and tighter about who the cpns see but as someone said there are other workers in the team. Cruze breavement counselling is worth considering as is any local mental health voluntary groups. I dont know if you are on any anti depressants but your GP could prescribe them without going to pdoc if you feel they would be useful. Have you another appt with pdoc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fanta Posted September 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 CBT is not suitable for people with BPD. DBT was created specially for BPD sufferers. They gave you the wrong sort of therapy. DBT has CBT elements. CBT is suitable for everyone and is a good starting point whilst waiting for more intensive therapies. ----------------------------------------------------------- @ Growly - Don't walk away from services, you need them right now. When you next see your P-Doc, ask him what kind of therapy they are thinking about refering you to, if they haven't already. Two of the main ones will be DBT or Psychodynamic Psychotherapy (these are the ones i was offered). There are others though. Also, ask him will you be going straight to therapy after you finish CBT or will there be a long wait. If he says long wait, ask if you can have a Care Coordinator whilst you wait between therapies to help support you. These are somewhat different to CPN's and i know in my area there are more of them than CPN's at present. Aurora Yeah I will ask him, I might even ask to change Pdoc's, I would much rather prefer a female tbh Oh the times I have wanted to walked away from Mh help and have too. But even when you feel they are not helping and even when they are literally not helping somehow stay in touch. xx Its hard they are getting tighter and tighter about who the cpns see but as someone said there are other workers in the team. Cruze breavement counselling is worth considering as is any local mental health voluntary groups. I dont know if you are on any anti depressants but your GP could prescribe them without going to pdoc if you feel they would be useful. Have you another appt with pdoc. I see my Pdoc every 2-3 months and yeah I am anti-d's, I have calmed down thankfully, I was so annoyed yesterday.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artemis84 Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 This is a tricky situation and one I can also see from your point of view. Maybe a break from appointments for a while is a less risky alternative? – you can always get back in touch if you need help in between (or get someone else to do so on your behalf) and it will allow you more time to weigh up just what life would be like without that kind of support. Could you ask for a bigger gap between your next appointments for example? It is incredibly frustrating when those who have the ability to influence your treatment just don’t seem to understand. I would agree with Bananas and Jinxta – if you can, tell them how those responses to your request made you feel. That might make them reconsider or at least explain their thinking in more detail. I know what you mean, I also find asking for any kind of help very difficult but you have done well so far in asking for the CPN at all, see if you can follow it up with them whether you write it down or explain in person. Hope you feel less isolated soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedup! Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 Don't walk away hun xxxxxxxxxxxxx You have been through so much recently - IMHO you could really benefit from as much support that is on offer. It takes so long to get back on the waiting list, then try and see if you 'fit' with a new therapist, meds or type of treatment....that in itself can be a draining experience. Please just take your time growly and think about the type of therapy that you ned right now. I completely hear and understand your frustration xxxxxx You still have us here too! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickle59 Posted September 13, 2012 Report Share Posted September 13, 2012 (((Growly))) There is so much good advice here from people who are much more experienced with the MHT than myself, but for what it is worth, I don't think you should walk away, though I can totally understand why you were feeling like this at the time you wrote this post. From my limited short experience, all I would like to add so what so many people have expressed, is that as you know (I think), I am having psycho dynamic therapy now. The only way I was offered this was by my GP referring me to MHT to be assessed, though he did offer counseling, but I said what type and for how long? Well it would have been, sort of ordinary counseling, and only for 6 weeks.I was referred, then assessed and from that, I was given the two options of having counseling from my GP, but they thought I would benefit much more from '' Deep Trauma therapy '', but with psycho dynamic therapy to stabilize me beforehand. The other thing I want to quickly mention, ((sorry, , do have a bit of trouble with quick)) is that I so understand you not wanting to ring anyone when you are in crisis, (because I am so similar) but you must if they are going to take you seriously!!! So, I smiled when you said they looked at you like you've got two heads, because in a way you were probably asking them for the help, with the thought out prepared way of how you are and have been, and what you are going through, but they are not truly seeing it when you have been in those real crisis spaces. I suppose its like asking for help after the event, if this makes any sense, and knowing the sort of responses Ive had to this sort of way of trying to get help, they do look at you like you've got two heads and they be thinking , well if she really was in crisis why didn't she ask for help at the time, and then they be thinking , cos you didn't ask for help at the times you were in crisis, it couldn't have been that bad!!! Which of course is ludicrous, but I think that is possible what they be thinking! Not right or acceptable really, but it does seem you've just got to let it all hang out for them to really shift! Hugs Growly.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyheartemma Posted September 24, 2012 Report Share Posted September 24, 2012 I thought about walking away, in the end I didnt have to make the decision because they discharged me and gave all sorts of reasons that werent true from my pov. and I really am so glad to be shot of them i feel much better without them. I really honestly do. it was just a frustrating invaladating demoralising expernece. but i suppose its different for me. I cant regret it because it wasnt my decision. I cant regret it because how can i regret being discharged by someone who laughed when i told her about my suicide atempts? that goes beyond uselessness into cruelty to me. but I can also say to myself that i asked for help lots of times. I told them how i felt, i told them what had happened, i told them what the people who asesed me felt i needed (they wanted me to have therapy), i told them how professional health care people had expressed concern about me, i gave them lots of chances to show that theyd heard what i'd just said. I told them i'd been raped and atempting suicide, i told them how my mum makes me feel, all I got was laughter or silence. maybe i'm wrong (tbh its hard for me to read anything about the mh team without my emotions coming into it) but it sounds like for the most part you like the guy youve been seeing, you respect him, you have some feeling he knows what hes talking about. maybe i'm wrong but it doesnt sound its the latest problem in a long list of problems. if its just one mistake or just a few mistakes i would give them another chance to get it right and get to know you better. But at the same time mh support is supposed to make you better and tho i think things like that will often get worse before they get better you do need to trust the person who is suposed to be helping you with the phone thing, i think hes the one who should be looked at like he has 2 heads! I know some people can do it but how can he think its easy for everyone to phone a complete stranger when your very upset and try to describe your emotions? I bet if you randomly asked him to describe his emotions for you he wouldnt find it that easy and hes presumably not upset with a million different emotions going on at once Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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