4Th Week Into Therapeutic Community

[vessyb]

Hello there,

I'm in my 4th week of being in a therapeutic community and I felt ok at first but now I feel like I'm unraveling... I just feel like I am hanging by a thread at times. The days are so structured - which I realise is important but there isnt always the time to speak and get your hurts out, so I feel like I am carrying it all around with me and then I feel like a river that has bursts its banks and this huge wave of hurt and despair comes over me. I feel okay after the cry but then it builds up again.

It wouldnt be so bad if I lived alone but I share a house and I am not too close with my housemates and so its hard sometimes to just feel able to come home and cry my heart out. I was sobbing on Sunday and I was trying to cry in a pillow to drown out the noise.

I was referred by my G.P. in June 2009 intitially for some CBT through mind and then I finally got an assessment in January 2010!! I saw a lovely lady but she thought my problems were too severe for her to have any real impact on me and so she referred me onto another service and so I was assessed in April 2010 and then after another wait started going to a weekly group therapy session in October and this is to prepare you for the 3 day a week group therapy and so I am finally there but I have been carrying all the stuff I spoke of at my assessments during this time and I still dont feel I am getting the support I feel I need.

I know that the point of the group is to turn to one another for support and you are able to make support calls but its hard. I have made a few which have been helpful and I have always regarded myself as a 'people' person but I just dont feel at ease in the group. Some people are coming to the end of their 18 months and will leave and new members are coming, so some people have strong friendships and I am on the sideline I guess. Which is normal but being in this kind of environment really makes you see how awkward you can feel around people who are struggling with their own issues.

There is one member in particular who can become so defensive upon any perceived hurt against them and reacts in an attacking way and I find this really hard to be around and when I have unintentionally upset them, I retreat into my shell and feel like crap and I hate it.

Anyway... that's enough for now... I better get some sleep

bye for now fellow fighters for a better life

[Tan19]

Hello

I'm sorry your feeling like this

Can I just say wel done for sticking with it for so long, it sounds really challenging

I can see why you are upset, it would be so hard for me to bottle things up like that too

Is there anyone here you can explain this all too? A worker or someone

I know how it feels to feel sidelined

But maybe others feel the same and you don't know

Your not alone

If you need somewhere to talk in the meantime please keep posting here

I'm here to listen xx

[Everycloud]

Wow you've done so well to get into a tc in such a short time.

I know when I have visited them they look incredibly hard places to be, sitting with emotions no where to run etc.

Hang in there, make those support calls or even text. Try bringing it into group how your feeling about all of it.

[maddy harper]

hello and welcome to the forums angel keep posting here to get support from all us forum members if it helps. See u around x

[shadow8]

Nice to meet you hope you find the support you need here.

I know how hard TC's are angel and at first you wonder what you have been thrown into. I dont think there is any right way to deal with it all as there is so much to deal with so fast and its relentless. It can be a place where there is so much emotion and all different types at once as everyone deals with things differently. Everyone has all types of extremes and I think when it works and you all help each other you all find things in each other that you need yourself or see in yourself you dont want and together you find more of a middle ground. I think you have done really well to stick with it and I encourage you to keep going with it. Dont put too much pressure on yourself to say everything at once and now as it takes time to build up a trust with people. I have learnt how ever you are there you will effect someone and its up to them to give you feedback to it and its up to you to feedback to them and they need to learn to cope with the response. Thats what groups are about is feedback as to what we do affects others. With the people joining and leaving that is so hard to deal with but all I can say is there will be new people you find you get on with, it might not be in the same way as the people who have left but it will help you to have them there. I think the best advice I can give is you get out as much as you put in and dont have any regrets with what you have done there and how you are as it will all help with the process to help you in the end. It does go quickly and how hard you found it to stick it out it will also be hard to leave it but hopefully in your time there you will have had the support you needed to give yourself a better life and you will glad you did it. If you want to talk about it you can message me and its good you are here for support as it really isnt an easy place to be.

[vessyb]

Thank you so much to Tan19, Every Cloud, Maddy Harper and Shadow 8... really happy to get your replies to my post and it is good to know you are there and I am so glad I found this site. Some wise words here for me xx

[maddy harper]

looking forward to getting to know u better angel :)