Therapy Is So Hard

[Fanta]

Yesterday when I had therapy my therapist I think knew that I had a bad week, Anyway she said to me that therapy is a 2 way thing and to make it work we need to work together which of course I agree, She wanted me to talk about my past I found it way to painful, I felt so pathetic, I am telling a complete stranger about my past? Anyway I told her some of it and I cried like a baby I am finding therapy so so hard, I have done group therapy before but I wasn't under pressure to talk.

My therapist is lovely don't get me wrong and I know that this is about getting to route to my problems, I am looking at myself in a whole different light, I didn't self harm last night (first time in 3 weeks) I suppose some progress there.

I took my book to therapy with me as I had been writing my thoughts down I thought my therapist might of wanted to look at it, She asked did I want her to? I bottled out of it and said"No" She then got me to write all kinds of positives in my book, This has helped.

It is talking about my past that I don't like, It is too painful, I have so much hidden she wants me to talk and I don't want to, I know deep down that maybe it needs to dealt with, She said that I have so much hurt, anger and secrets inside me that needs coming out, Sometimes I think I don't want to go back and then I think I need to do this.

[guntarded]

Growly I completely understand the battle with therapy. Group sessions were easy for me at times, just speak a little agree and it's ok. One to one psychotherapy was a killer for me. 90mins of looki g at my past in a different perspective. And I did try to talk the therapist out of my problem focusing on something else. But she knew what I was doing. First few months of appointments I was self harming after the app couldn't handle it. But the dawn comes after the storm. It does get worse and harder but healing comes. And that I can assure you of when you think you want up quit.

You can pm me anytime.

[natfredricks]

They always say the beginning of a therapy is really tough. They say it will get better..

[Fanta]

Growly I completely understand the battle with therapy. Group sessions were easy for me at times, just speak a little agree and it's ok. One to one psychotherapy was a killer for me. 90mins of looki g at my past in a different perspective. And I did try to talk the therapist out of my problem focusing on something else. But she knew what I was doing. First few months of appointments I was self harming after the app couldn't handle it. But the dawn comes after the storm. It does get worse and harder but healing comes. And that I can assure you of when you think you want up quit.

You can pm me anytime.

Thanks gun,

Wow,This is what it is like for me, I wonder if it's because we're dealing with our emotions and this is why we choose to self harm?

[maddy harper]

i am about to start psyco theropy n two days hope its not bad for me

[guntarded]

Thanks gun,

Wow,This is what it is like for me, I wonder if it's because we're dealing with our emotions and this is why we choose to self harm?

For me, therapy is like going through physiotherapy for a limb replacement, it's painful, time-consuming, takes a lot of practice to get better, and it's awful on the body and mind. You work at it for months and you feel little progress as you want to get better, then you're motivation stops and you fight, literally fight, just to try and get better. It's long and hard road, but worth it when you do get to deal finally with issues, you get to make that inner child in you that has been hurt and abused to grow up and become an adult, and you finally come out of the darkest tunnel of your life.

As a bigger positive, it's amazing that though the abuse we suffered as children was damage done by others, the fact that it is through our determination, our strength and our goal to get better and recover that eventually all the therapy becomes worth it. You become more free from the burdens of bpd because of your work.