Shadow girl Posted September 30, 2012 Report Share Posted September 30, 2012 I saw my DBT keyworker on Friday and she queried something in my diary sheet. I windered what you all think. Every day I have to come up with a positive goal and put it on my sheet one I've used a few times is "get back on track with my diet" or "compensatory diet day". I'm dieting because I am very obese and on stopping overdosing and cutting I relaced them with more comfort eating and gained a load more weight. I decided that I would have to deal with that at the same time as other unhealthy coping strategies or i would end up even more gross. So, I'm dieting using a plan on the computer that gives you guidelines, applies exercise levels and allows you to track your progress. It's a bit like weightwatchers but free. Using it I've lost 1 stone in one month. On some days I don't manage to keep to it or I don't do enough exercise and I follow them with a compensatory diet day (where i am much stricter and do extra exercise). I think this is very positive and I feel very good when I get everything back under control in this way but my T asked me if this was not another form of self punishment. I told her its not, I need to do it and she didn'y comment further. I'm scared she is going to want me to move it from m positive goals to my target behaviours. Do you think the way I am dieting is OK? It's not like I only need to lose a few pounds. I have 4 stone to go before I even scrape into the healthy eweight range by the skin of my teeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucegal Posted September 30, 2012 Report Share Posted September 30, 2012 Hi there, I think you have to congratulate yourself, on rising to challenge and tackling a problem that was getting you down. It's hard to do and you must give yourself credit for doing it. I think that yes completing an online healthy lifestyle programme, tracking your weight/eating/mood etc is effective, as long as you are feeling the benefit of doing so and don't become obsessive with it. I think that perhaps you should accept the day that you don't achieve your goals that day instead of working on a "compensatory diet day" the next day. Maybe reflect on, why you couldn't complete everything, perhaps there were different circumstances affecting your day, perhaps you need a day off, we all do. If you can forgive yourself for the days that don't work out then that would be a healthy approach. There is nothing wrong with working a little harder the next day as long as you revert back to your healthy routine thereafter. It is a very positive goal to lose a target weight in a healthy and stable approach, that has to be commended, but how do you feel when a day doesn't go to plan. Are you praising yourself for the things in your day that you did complete/do well/stick to, eg, good eating but couldn't get the exercise done or are you focusing on the negative, the things you haven't got done. What are your feelings then. Good luck with your new lifestyle, its a major thing to lose 1 stone in 1 month. You'll have to tell me the website lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow girl Posted September 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2012 Thank you for that lucegal. You've given me pause for thought. I never praise myself for what i achieve - though I do get a buzz when i've lost weight. When it doesn't go as I hope I feel devastated and all my SH urges get really strong. I don't want to get into unhealthy patterns to lose weight or I'll be no better than when I was self harming all the time. I need to think about that. The web site is www.foodfocus.co.uk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucegal Posted September 30, 2012 Report Share Posted September 30, 2012 You should be proud of yourself, you're one hell of a person, to take control and help yourself, it's a very hard thing to do. I know it's so devastating when it doesn't go well, it is so crushing but you have to remember that you have come so far, you're lighter in your heart, body and soul. It's great to get a buzz from the weight loss, it's hard work getting rid of weight but you really do deserve that happy feeling. And take all the compliments you can get!!!! It's good that you are striving for a healthy approach towards your goals, and your self awareness should help in bad times. Perhaps you should look at your goals again, review the "getting back on track" may be you could look at "going window shopping - new body, new look" "compensatory day" "I'm still on tracking, being help with how far I have come". Positive words, positive actions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow girl Posted September 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2012 That's challenging. I'm not sure I can quite manage to translate "getting back on track" (which is my code for - you completely stupid failure) and make it a stage more positive. I can see the wisdom of it, it just seems very difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucegal Posted September 30, 2012 Report Share Posted September 30, 2012 It is very very hard, but you are doing well and I believe you will get there. Changing your negatives to positives is to me, life changing and again it's not something I have conquered yet, so I at least keep the concepts and the challenge of it will me. I started writing in my book, I take two pages and in the centre of each I write, negative and positive, so ever time I have negative thoughts, the words go down on the page because they don't deserve to be in my head, and I write a positive word on other page and link it to the negative feeling that I had. It doesn't work for everyone, and especially today it didn't work for me, but sometimes it does, and that's good enough for me at the moment. I admit that I can't always write down a positive but I continue with it. It's just a coping mechanism with me. I am a very negative person who is constantly self damaging, I can't always practice what I preach, but I do know that living in my negative prison is not the right path. Please take care and remember regardless of anything, you are achieving your goals which is the a shining light for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow girl Posted October 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2012 ((((((((((Lucegal)))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucegal Posted October 1, 2012 Report Share Posted October 1, 2012 Hi there, hope to find you well. I'm not exactly sure what your last email means, but very sorry if I annoyed you. Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow girl Posted October 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2012 The brackets means a big hug! Sorry you didn't know what it means - you have only been lovely and helpful. Have another appreciative hug (((((lucegal))))). x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucegal Posted October 5, 2012 Report Share Posted October 5, 2012 Hi there. How is your healthy lifestyle? I looked at food focus website, it's very comprehensive, it really really good for targets and goals.x Do you have your key-worker on Friday. I hope it goes really well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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