*may Trigger* I Am Having A Reassessment On My Current Diagnosis

[autism-bpd]

On October 22nd It has been agreed in the case conference that I should have a reassessment on my diagnosis as I am detoriating in my mental health. They will be looking into CPTSD/Bipolar.

*May Trigger*

Things are not good. My mind still wont stop counting the R*pe anniversary 2 years October 30th and I am receiving no therapy for.

I have been feeling like I am losing touch with reality, feel so strange it feels like a dream. I now stay in doors a lot, unless I have to such as paying rent, needing food and only if i go far away from where I am. Although me and mum going to go cinema and eat out on saturday I am worried I will have a panic attack as thats what happens everytime i go out.

I sometimes feel suicidal and selfharming. My mood goes one extreme to the next I would go crying, feeling suicidal, agitated, to my mood shifting to manic high impulsiveness to spend my money to spin around and around and start calling me silly names like splotty pink.

Then sometimes I am seeing a man in my mind to have flashbacks and reliving what happened to me. I am also very protective and wary of people to protect myself from further abuse.

I have dropped out off all the things I do unless its the London volunteering. I do not go to choir. I do not go to magazine group because I am scared of going out and then set off a panic attack. But I am okay if I go far away from town. The times that I do stay in are the times I would be in bed under the covers in my PJ's and sometimes not eat anything. I been told I also talk too quick.

[Eagleheart]

I am so sorry you are in such a bad way.I was raped in 1991. I had to see a doctor because of internal damage,but i was not offered ANY help.

I have had no treatment for it at all.

I am telling you this because i want you to see that it's entirely possible to survive rape and to re-start your life.

I still see my rapist in town sometimes. He can't look me in the eye.

In the long run,i have won. Because i have survived and made a lovely life for myself.

I hope this helps. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[maddy harper]

keep us posted.xxxx

[Christine001]

Hi flipper hope with a reassessment of your dxs comes some treatment and support. xxx

[autism-bpd]

thank u., i tried going out but found it overwhelming and made me panic. I did treat myself though to shoes, dress and gold bag