jenny1471 Posted October 4, 2012 Report Share Posted October 4, 2012 CPN has always said shed like for me to have DBT. I've opted for private psychodynamic therapy. My thinking was that I work for the same NHS trust, so where possible I don't want NHS treatment. Bt more importantly, I have massive attachment issues. I get attached to inappropriate nurturing mother figures. So I've gone for psychodynamic therapy which is supposed to be a place where you can get attached and work through it. I'm now doubting this is working. Yes I'm attached but is this truly the way to heal? I talked about it in depth with a friend today and he threw a new idea at me. He about I just manage the attachment issues. I could just accept that I have attachment issues and in daily life I could monitor my relationships as to not get attached to inappropriate people. Kind of like in a CBT here and now way. Psychodynamic is very much about talking about the past. Reliving it. Experiencing it again. Do I need to do that in order to heal?? I'm seriously doubting psychodynamic therapy now. I'm doubting I want to relive this utter pain. Maybe I should go for DBT or even nothing, and just manage my own life and moods as I know that I'm capable of. I'm seeing my CPN tomorrow and I know she's against my private therapy.. I'm starting to see her point. H can going through years of therapy, reliving attachment, heal anything? I emailed my therapist yesterday asking these exact questions. She responded in a way that agreed with me and hinted that maybe we should end as therapy isn't helping me. I'm scared shitless of the rejection. But maybe it wouldn't be the worse thing in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted October 4, 2012 Report Share Posted October 4, 2012 Psychodynamic therapy isn't just about talking about the past.... its about building a relationship with a therapist with whom you can talk about the present, and how the past affects how you feel in the present. Its a slow therapy, it took 18 months for me. It leads to greater insight and it led myself to have greater self-acceptance and self-confidence. I know there is a lot of good evidence for DBT, but to me its about fixing things on the surface. Psychodynamic is about getting to the deep stuff the affects what is on the surface. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlylight1 Posted October 4, 2012 Report Share Posted October 4, 2012 thats a really interesting question especially as dbt is generally recommended for bpd. i can see why the prospect of building the relationship data mentions might be worrying for you. and it is hard to know which route is best to take. personally i think i'd go for psychodynamic but that is because my past very much intrudes on my present to a large degree and its a huge stumbling block i find hard to get over. i don't know how much you've heard about schema therapy but apparently it has elements of psychodynamic but is more structured so that may be another option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted October 4, 2012 Report Share Posted October 4, 2012 i think there is a place for both, sounds like I am sitting on the fence. but will have a go at explaining, what I have learnt in my pyschodynamic psychotherapy is more about what happened to me as a child and have had this validated and I have learnt how easily it is for me to repeat the patterns of the past. The ending was planned andwe talked about feelings tand i have actually experinced a different way for relationships to end or endure, Maybe next time in a relationship I might not be looking for ways to get rejected and whne things go wrong just do something hurtful to the person and leace. I am still learning. DBT as I understand it can help with managing feelings, distress tolerance etc which now might be something a year ago I dont think I would have stuck with. Like accepting that emotions are intense and working on how to make this work for us rather than ending up feeling suicidal. Its more skills based. Dont know if I am making sense. I think though that if you do decide to move on from your current therapy then ending it well is so so important to you expecially as the attchement is so strong. I guess DBT wont want you to continue with the therapist but maybe a transition where you do both would be beneficial rather than an abrupt end. CPNs and MH have been told that DBT is the one. But I think its different things for different people at different times, the PD services in my area combine both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasmineRose Posted October 5, 2012 Report Share Posted October 5, 2012 Psychodynamic therapy works for me. It is painful, and does take time. But it can really help. It can be a safe place to be with feelings without judgement - and actually uses a lot of DBT style thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted October 5, 2012 Report Share Posted October 5, 2012 there's a DBT self help website http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/ could be worth having a look at that to see if you feel DBT could help you... I have had neither so i can't really comment on whether one is better - but just thought i'd post that link for you cos i know some people here have found the site helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow girl Posted October 7, 2012 Report Share Posted October 7, 2012 I've had some psychdynamic therapy in the past and it certainly helped me understand how I came to be like I am, but to me understanding and accepting did not create change. I am now doing DBT and even though I am only 4 months in I have significantly changed for the better. The 1:1 part does not exclude a psychodynamic element although there is an emphasis on skills to live in the here and now. I never imagined I would have stopped most of my self harm habits so quickly with a sense of having actually stopped rather than abstained for a while. For me, DBT wins hands down - but that's just me and everyone is different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny1471 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2012 Thank you all for your responses, feedback, experiences and insight. I've read and re-read them all a few times and I really do appreciate you all taking the time to reply. I saw my therapist today and discussed all of my thoughts around therapy.. and actually have come to the conclusion that my fears of the attachment with her are causing me to panic and want to get out of therapy! I think that's why I've been looking at different options.. because I'm in something very, very painful with her.. I feel out of control. But I'm going to try to trust the process and trust her. So for now I'm sticking with psychodynamic. I get that it's a slower process than something like CBT/DBT but hopefully I'll be able to get to the root and maybe move forward a little in my messed up world Thanks again x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasmineRose Posted October 11, 2012 Report Share Posted October 11, 2012 Good for you. If you want to talk about any of it, I've been through/am going through a lot of it, so I've lots of experience! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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