KraftyKat Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 So after joining here a month(!) ago I never got round to posting thru apathy mainly, but events today have put me lower than ever. The main crux of all my problems come down to 2 related things - responsibility and money, ie the fact that I can't cope with the former because I have none of the latter, ever, produces a severe fear and blind panic when faced with problems with either. My major trigger is when either of my pets gets sick, the dog is insured but there is an excess to pay and because of that any treatment under £100 we have to pay for except we never have £100 just floating around and precisely £0 in savings. The cat is not insured but the same applies, we have to find the cash to pay for even an appointment. Please don't lecture me about 'not having pets if you can't afford them' I was working when we homed the dog and the cat has been here for 10 years. I had a course of CBT for my panic attacks which got out of hand a few years ago, but because I can't really face my trigger, whenever anything happens to one of the pets, off we go again, like today, the dog has been vomiting for no apparent reason and I have been in a state of panic since, I feel sick, breathless, know I am not going to sleep tonight because I will be listening out and every time he moves I will be waiting for him to be sick again. I have palpitations and feel so nervy and sort of jumpy. And now my depression has ramped up several notches, I have to go to the Gp tomorrow anyway but can't decide if I should tell them how bad I feel, I have been sitting thinking of the best and most painless, effective 'way out'. My eyes keep leaking, I don't/can't cry, there is not enough emotion within me for that, my eyes just keep getting wet. I just don't want to be here anymore. I understand this must seem so pathetic but it's just the tip of the iceberg, I also suffer from chronic pain and am on about 30 pills a day which barely take the wdge off my pain, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Thank you for reading if you have made it this far x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddy harper Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 (((huge hugs))), i can relate to being in constant painall the time as i hav problems with my spine and i hurt every day despite taking tramadol to get rid of it but it doesn't work proprly and i'm stil in constant pain every day... it gets really wairing from time to time but i hae to live with it i guess till a bettersorce of pain releef is found for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddison Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Hunni do you obsess over your pets health? It is quite usual for them to be sick (eaten something bad ) or unwell at times. I know we have been hit with some vets bills over the years (no insurance!) and it can be real hard. Do you have no money because you've been irresponsible? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KraftyKat Posted October 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 Maddy Harper - I too have problems with my spine, have had 2 major ops but the drs now reckon that the Fibromyalgia was caused by my pain being out of control for so long, I am awaiting treatment in a residential pain management course. I hope they find something better to help you with your pain. Maddison - yeah, I do obsess over my pets health quite a lot, I worry about making the right decision (responsibility) and about being able to pay vets bills. I haven't been irresponsible with money (not very often, and not enough to be in trouble anyway) I am very fearful of debt, we don't have loans or credit cards or store cards. I'm pretty sure a lot of this has kicked off because Xmas is on its way, I hate it we never have the sort of money we would like to have to spend on the kids as we have quite a long list of other relations to buy for, it all adds up. Other kids have hundreds of pounds spent on them, I feel awful every year that the most I can afford is about £50 each it seems so unfair On the plus side the dog hasn't been sick since about 7.45pm (it's now 7.45am) so I will try him on some breakfast soon and hope he is ok, I love him so much, he is my best friend x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddison Posted October 22, 2012 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 Hunni we could afford to spend more on our kids for birthday and Christmas but we don't because society is greedy. We don't want our kids to consume with out any thought. It is hard being a kid right now but they have to learn to be in the play ground with out the newest gadget. We prefer to put the money away for their futures, (or vets bills that come up!). Good job your dog is doing better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddison Posted October 22, 2012 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 When the kid were younger and we had less money a couple of years we asked relatives to not get us presents so we could spend money on the kids, we couldn't stretch our budget. Could you do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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