My Horrible Stupid Job Which I Hate And Never Asked For

[lonelyheartemma]

I'm doing this job my mum got for me. this woman she knows through work asked her if i would be her website updater. my mum said yes without asking me. now i'm stuck doing it, i've been doing it for years and i just dont want to do it anymore but i feel completely trapped.

I have written this list of reasons why i dont want to do it anymore but i'm too scared to show it to the woman or my mum because they both really scare me. I think maybe i should not show her the 1st 2 tho.

I never said I wanted to do this. I was just told I was going to do it.

I really hate the work. I get NO enjoyment from it whatsoever and never have.

I find it really stressful. It's stupid but I have trouble even thinking about it without crying.

I find it very difficult- I haven't really studied computer stuff and I'm not very good at it.

I think the work is actually very simple. But it takes me hours to do it, hours to redo it because I've made mistakes and it takes ages to work out what I've done wrong. When I've finally made it look right I get emails complaining I've done things wrong.

It's a site for illustrators. Art really isn't my subject so I don't have any idea about how to order the pictures in the most attractive way.

The woman I work for wants me to redesign the site and I don't know how to do that.

I told her about 2-3 years ago that the job isn't for me and I'd appreciate it if she'd look for someone else. I said I'd stay until she found someone but I've got a feeling she hasn't been looking at all. Is 2-3 years a reasonable time to wait? (I've probably got a copy of the email when I told her that so I could probably find out how long ago that was)

The illustrators I deal with are difficult. They are always moaning about things not being right and telling me to change things. I find this very upsetting but I think they are right to expect me to be better than I am and I think they deserve someone who's going to get it right. I really want to tell them I don't know what I'm doing, I'm just doing it to help out.

I feel like such a fake making people think I have any idea about what I'm doing. The only reason I know how to do any of it is because my dad showed me what to do.

The illustrators and the woman I work for quite often ask me technical questions which I just don't understand.

I get £25 a month, but I don't need it. I told my dad if he took over the job, he could have my £25 a month and I'd pay him £25 a week on top of that. I would happily pay not to have to do it anymore. (I wouldn't be prepared to do it for more money, the money makes it worse)

those are all the reasons for wanting to quit. my only reasons for not quitting is because i'm scared. my mum has actually agreed a couple of times that i could quit but then she always says she didnt say that and i'm just ungrateful (which is true i'm not a bit grateful for the job, to start off with i was flattered that the woman thought of me but now i'm just thinking if i kill myself i wont have to do it anymore)

[natfredricks]

Why should you do something that is technical and not yours?

[natfredricks]

For £25 a month!!???

[berenger]

I think this job is not for you. You list many good reasons why you don't want to do it. You have every right to say you don't want to do it and stop doing it.

[fedup!]

emma you don't have to do this job

Honestly hun. You don't have to do it.

You can quit for no reason at all - or you can simply say 'I've had enough' and walk away. It's stressing you out and making you unhappy - nothing related to work is worth making you feel like this xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[lonelyheartemma]

thank you for all your replies, i'm sorry i keep asking for help and them disapearing!

aparently after my mum agreed i didnt have to do it i then told her I didnt mind doing it so she passed this info onto this woman. I think this is unfair, it's very hard to believe I said that and even if I did say that its up to me not her to tell the woman.

But anyway my dad is being really great and on my side. He says stuff like "of course you can't redesign the website, how could anyone think your capable of that, you dont have the qualifications!" often it makes me feel bad when people say stuff like that about me but this time it made me feel really good because he was totally right and he didn't make me feel like being bad at something made me a bad person.