jenny1471 Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 Hi Long story, which I'll try to condense. Was referred to CPN 2 years ago after suicidal behaviours. Then last year I had horrendous attachment issues with a therapist who contacted my CPN. All along I had said to CPN that I think I had BPD. She finally agreed with me in that I had TRAITS of BPD although maybe not enough for a full diagnosis. I never 'acted out' with her, never phoned her between sessions etc. I've been discharged from her for 1 month now. I do still feel like I 'act out' with my private therapist but I'm learning. I'm more self aware. I'm trying. I phoned my CPN this afternoon for something and we chatted for 15 minutes. I told her how I feel more self aware and I'm not 'acting out' as much. I said I feel like I can separate out my depression and my PD and at the moment I feel more 'depressed' than anything else. I said I'm controlling my PD with a mix of self awareness and self regulation. Long story short is that she said that given all I've said she wouldn't put me in the 'BPD category' at all now. She said it was never officially diagnosed but that there were traits.. and while there are still issues with personality it's under control and therefore not diagnosable at all. Thought I'd share as it's positive! I do feel like I could have told her anything on the phone really and I do feel a little fraudulant because I do still 'act out' with my therapist but I pointed that out to her and she said that's normal.. and my self awareness will help no end. *taps herself on the back* xx PS (nearly wrote PD there!) hope I don't have to leave the site now!! I do still have 'traits'!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 Sounds like you are making some progress with your therapy - well done . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddison Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 Good job hunni, some one who hasn't worked as hard as you could have ended up with the dx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddison Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 P.S (or P.D.!) You are not allowed to leave this site it is in the rules! (My rules!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan Posted November 7, 2012 Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 well done hun xxx btw you do know this place isnt exclusively for people with PD - it is open to anyone with any mental health issue... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny1471 Posted November 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2012 Thank you everyone. And lol Maddison.. interesting rules there Villan, I didn't realise that, no.. but thanks! I ain't going nowhere. I do feel like I've done a lot of serious thinking about my behaviours and future. Things weren't heading in the right direction for a while and something has to give. I'm not saying I'm feeling 100% or anything, in fact for the first time ever I feel like I genuinely am suffering from depression. In the past when I've felt this way I've 'acted out' immediately, as a way of coping and surviving and have somewhat masked my depression. I've never been able to separate out the two.. and now it's as though I can see the depression and the PD traits more clearly. I feel like I have choices over my behaviours, and for now I am containing myself. Realise I'm making that sound easy when really, it's not. But things like mindfulness are helping as are some good friends that I've recently made. And I've cut off all contact with my ex partner (extremely painful but necessary). I'm really hoping that this is the turn around point for me. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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