Tray Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 this week, i was d with bpd... and i have been thinking how much has relly changed? 5` years ago i had just left my husband of 15 years, was living with my now new partner and was in work. now, i am stil with that new partner, living in the marrital home, with a 3 year old. as for the bpd... is it any beta, no, do i feel any beta at all, no, do i regret anything, hell yes im not happy, i dont think i ever have been to be honest, and i dont know how to be, i really dont i feel like my life is a waste, i feel like i should have done more, seen more. i feel angry for all the things i have done, the wrongs that i have done, i hate myself a lot its been 5 years and i have not moved forward at all right now i just want to got to bed and never wake up again, i crave the darkness of sleep, but i dont get any peace, as i am constantly dreaming, i just want blankness, is that too much to ask? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddison Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 You have a relationship and a kid? Being borderline can be just getting through day by day I think you've done great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxsta Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 You most likely have gained and grown and got better LOTS... u just cant see it yourself... we BPD'er hardly do, hard to see our achievements and good points... i know i always think i've done nothing but get worse until someone points it out to me. xx xx xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tray Posted November 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2012 i feel like i am not movin forward at all, if anythin im moving backwords, im no longer having therapy as have used up all my uota, i no longer have a cpn as they wont give me one, i feel like i am gettin no help in gettin to recovery Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvette Posted November 22, 2012 Report Share Posted November 22, 2012 I was ill for a very long time and with my meds altered by p doc I'm well on the way to recovery. What about ordering a dialectual behaviour thereapy book. That's what my phycologist uses and its fab. I'm determined to teach myself to look at things differently. Also keep going back if you still feel crap so they find tge right meds for you. Lots of hugs xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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